Obviously, having no personal opinion is equally undesirable to being too assertive about what is right and what is wrong. Should we or should we not distinguish right and wrong? How do we know we are not doing a wrong thing? Not griping strongly to own opinion (不执于我) is not the same as having no personal opinion. It only means we accept the possibility that we may not be right or other opinions are also not wrong too. There is no problem at all for not wanting our coffee to be too cold or too hot. Similarly, there is no problem at all for not wanting to be right or wrong. The two extremes are like Yin and Yang. It is a matter of balancing the Yin and Yang. What we choose to do is a matter of choice. Whatever we choose to do is not wrong if it doesn’t adversely affect our happiness in the short term and also in the long term.
How to achieve balance between Yin and Yang? The Universe will achieve balance by itself without human intervention, in the long run of course. “But this long run is a misleading guide to current affairs. In the long run we are all dead. Economists set themselves too easy, too useless a task, if in tempestuous seasons they can only tell us, that when the storm is long past, the ocean is flat again.” — John Maynard Keynes. He was not-right and not-wrong. A house on fire needs to be extinguished. But if we throw woods on the fire and genuinely think that we are doing the right thing, the situation may not improve but become worse. To do or not to do, that is the question. Some people believe they must do something, but what they do may not be the right thing; they simply have the false belief that they know the right thing to do, and they are ashamed of cowardice, so they are fearless to make mistakes and have no guilt for their mistakes. Some people believe in listening to the wisdom and let it be, but what they do (i.e. waiting or do nothing) may not be the right thing, although they think it is the right thing to do. It would be best if everything is fine and there is no need to do anything (无为).
Confucius said: “The only one who could maintain peace without the need to do anything was Emperor Shun. What did he have to do? He just need to uphold his ethics, expressed his great compassion and inspired all the people, and take the leadership role of leading by example.” (《论语·卫灵公》子曰: “无为而治者，其舜也与？夫何为哉？恭己正南面而已矣。”) Confucius, like Lao Zi, agrees that the ideal situation is when there is no need to do anything. Of course, they meant doing the necessary towards achieving the state of nothing else to do (为无为 则无不治); no more problem, so no more intervention needed. The vision about the final goal is very important when we do something; so that we are truly clear about our mission and constantly stay on the path to reach the long-term goal. Playing clever tricks to tackle the symptoms but not eliminating the root cause will not have a good ending. While we are enjoying a peaceful life, don’t start to desire for “precious” things (in whatever ways you define them) and do all sort of things to change the status quo. We may end up destroying peace and have to live in a chaotic state where we need to do more things to solve multiple problems created by earlier “solutions” which are non-solutions.
Confucius said: “I wish to stop talking.” His disciple was alarmed and asked: “Master. If you stop talking, how could we learn from you?” Confucius replied: “What did the Heaven ever said? The four seasons continue to rotate, and all living things continue to survive. What did the Heaven ever said?” (《论语·阳货》子曰：“予欲无言。”子贡曰：“子如不言，则小子何述焉？”子曰：“天何言哉？四时行焉，百物生焉，天何言哉？”) A great leader just needs to lead by example and say nothing. The world will be peaceful if everybody learns from the ethical conduct of the leader, and everybody minds his own business. There is really nothing to say. Those who really know the Dao will not say what it is; those who say it do not really know what they are talking about (知者弗言, 言者弗知). The Dao cannot be fully described with words; it is in everything and everywhere. It is this at one time and space; it is that at another time and space. When the leader is needed to speak, the world is already in chaos. What the leader says is not the Dao; he only speaks what is helpful at that moment and location. Why don’t you wish you never have to say a word? Why don’t you wish you don’t have to be a hero and let peace continues to thrive?
There was a businessman from the state of Song. He heard that the people of the state of Yue in the South don’t wear cloth. He thought he could make a fortune by selling clothes, so he went all the way from his northern home to the southern countryside. Unfortunately, the people of Yue have a culture of being naked with tattoo all over their bodies. They don’t wear cloth at all. They tell the Song businessman that the tattoo was their cloth but the Song businessman said: “Your tattoo is beautiful but it is boring to look the same every day. You should wear cloth so that you can change different fashions whenever you want.” The people of Yue said: “We will feel stressful if we have to think about what to wear every morning. Cloth is unnecessary to us and it is a waste of resources.” The Song’s businessman said: “It is shameful to be naked.” The people of Yue said: “Every one of us here is naked. There is no difference between us. Why should we feel shameful? You wear cloth in Song and you are not different from your neighbor. Do you feel shameful?” The Song businessman was sad that his “cleverness” didn’t pay off but instead he wasted his money, energy and time due to his delusion of being a clever man. What you think is valuable or good may not be the case in the perspective of others. What you think is right or wrong may not be the case in the perspective of others.
A businessman from the state of Zheng made the same mistake. The people of Yue told him that the cloths he brought were useless because they don’t wear cloth. The Zheng businessman said: “That is precisely why I come here. You people don’t know the benefit of cloth and civilization. I want to share my good things with you.” The people of Yue said: “We don’t know what civilization you are talking about. But whatever it is, it is useless to us like the cloth. We live happily without them. We love each other, trust each other, and do no harm to each other. Instead, we heard there were countless wars and casualties in the civilized world.” The Zheng businessman was not discouraged, because his religion taught him that it is a virtue to never give up. He didn’t think he had made a mistake to come to the southern countryside. He really believed he was trying to bring good to the people of Yue, although he was also trying to make a profit. Instead, he felt so charged up that the “barbaric” state is a blue ocean for him to expand his business without any competition. He wrote a letter to his wife in the state of Zheng to send more supply of cloth. He believed there was no problem too tough for him, and he can even sell a horse to a fisherman. He wasn’t wrong if he was happy doing the crazy things and never felt disappointed until the end of his life. He wasn’t right if he kept annoying other people with his mercantile and made everybody, including himself, unhappy.
A boy in Yan state loved the walking style of the people of Zhao state. He went to learn it at the capital city of Zhao state. Unfortunately, the boy not only failed to learn the walking style but also forgot his original way of walking. Subsequently, he had to crawl back to his home. Everybody has his way of living; there is no right or wrong. We must not forget how we live if we learn certain ways from other cultures. Nobody should force us to assimilate to another culture.
Right and wrong will continue to exist, like proton and electron, regardless of whether we believe in the “box” or not. The definitions of right and wrong are useful in each society, like laws in each country. But for our happiness and well-being, we must keep reminding ourselves not to be confined by the “box”. We must not insist on always being right and hate being wrong; we must love and forgive ourselves. Don’t love proton (阳) and don’t hate electron (阴). There are values in everything. We must not insist on imposing high moral standard on other people; we must love and forgive other people, and in so doing we love and forgive ourselves (because we don’t feel angry, we don’t inflict pain to our hearts, we don’t whip ourselves with unnecessary responsibility of educating the public or being an unofficial policeman for social cause). Instead, we strive to be not-right but not-wrong. I am not right, nobody is right. Why should I be right? How can I insist other people to do the right thing? Acceptance of diversity, knowing that we need each other (相依相存), is better than being tolerance (兼容并蓄).
RESILIENT KID 