My mother fell in love with Buddhism when I was a teen. She attended Buddhism classes and seminars regularly. She loves it so much because she found the peace of mind that she had never felt before. I was happy for her. Her peacefulness and happiness also brought greater peace and happiness to the family. It benefited me.
My mother did not push me and my siblings to attend Buddhism classes. She would bring back some Buddhism books and told us what she learned from the monks. I got interested and read the books to understand the religion. I learned many useful knowledge and wisdoms. That was another big benefit I got, although I did not suddenly achieve enlightenment.
I wasn’t a good student. In my first year of secondary school, when I was 13, I didn’t know how to spell “Kuala Lumpur”. My classmate laughed at me, and I was so embarrassed. When I was 17, I answered a question in the Chinese language examination paper to discuss Confucius’s assertion of “Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you” (己所不欲 勿施于人) from the Analects (论语). I wrote an essay about “Don’t give to others what you don’t want”. My teacher gave me zero mark because my interpretation of the proverb was incorrect. I was very grateful to the teacher instead of feeling angry. I felt grateful because he considered and reconsidered for more than a week to finally decide that I should get no mark at all. Some people might think he was too strict and heartless, but I felt he wanted to help me but finally decided to do the “right thing”. I could feel the love although I get zero mark finally. I got what I deserved, and I fell in love with Confucianism, Chinese history and other Chinese philosophies. My teacher expanded the emptiness (空和无) in my brain, or awareness of my emptiness, to accept and accommodate so many things that are great to have. I am still very grateful to my teacher until today. Emptiness is a great thing.
The sea (the king of all valleys) can become so big because it stays low to receive the water from hundreds of rivers, regardless of the water quality. We can learn from the sea: to be humble, receive knowledge from various sources, apply the useful ideas from all schools of thoughts, keep an open mind and listen to different opinions regardless of whether we agree or disagree with the ideas (江海所以能为百谷王, 以其善下之, 故能为百谷王).
There was a famous Zen monk (南隐) in Japan. A university professor wanted to ask him about Zen. The monk poured tea into a cup for the professor, but he continued although the cup was full and the tea spilled over. The professor watched what happened for a while. Finally, he suggested the monk to stop pouring because the cup was full. The monk said: “Your heart is like the cup. It is filled with your perceptions and opinions. If you don’t empty the cup, how can I start telling you about Zen?” The cup is a material (色和有), while the empty space in the cup is nonmaterial (空和无). The material and nonmaterial are actually one entity; both must exist together to make it a cup. The empty space is an indispensable “part” to make the cup useful.
I have met many students who felt they already know enough of what they need to know about life, and they don’t have to read another book. I can only pity them and wish them all the best. We like to hope that everything goes well in our lives. Unfortunately, hope is a very ineffective strategy. In life, 8 to 9 out of 10 hopes will not materialize (人生不如意事 十常八九). If we don’t recognize this reality, but wish the reality is what we want to see, we will feel disappointed every time our hope doesn’t come true. Conversely, if we believe the proverb is true, we would be mentally ready whenever the going gets tough, and we will be tough enough to get going. We accept that it is so normal to face tough time again and again in our lives, and we will not feel disappointed even if we fail to overcome the tough time. It will be nothing more than failing to win a jackpot or lottery; it is no cause for disappointment. Unlucky is a norm; feeling unhappy with the norm means unhappy will be a norm. Even if the proverb is not true, only 5 or 6 out of 10 hopes will not materialize, we will feel very happy and very grateful to be so lucky and so blessed that we have 3 extra hopes which come true. It is really a kind of intelligent. Many people knew or heard of the proverb but few have the intelligent to recognize that life is more of a challenge to us and less as a gift. Another important Chinese proverb is: “A dignified person will strive to be self-reliant and strong, and never give up” (《周易·乾》：天行健，君子以自强不息), from Yi Jing. It is ingrained in the mind of Chinese people and become an integral element of Chinese culture. It makes some people enjoy facing challenges and not complain about tough time.
We need to have intelligent and knowledge to overcome tough time. Hence, we need to keep learning. The kind of intelligent I refer to here is the philosophical-intelligent to live our lives to the fullest, and make us free of suffering from self-inflicted mental issues (般若 prajna: wisdom/insight in the true nature of reality. 般若波羅蜜多 Prajnaparamita: the perfection of wisdom). Everybody can attain the philosophical-intelligent if he is ready and willing to learn. It is useful to us but useless to our bosses, because I am not talking about the kind of intelligent that is meant to be sold for a price.
RESILIENT KID 