To be a great leader, one must be selfless, in order to receive the greatest selfishness. For all common people, we should be selfish, to love ourselves, our families, our friends, more than anybody else. Being selfish doesn’t mean making our neighbors unhappy; otherwise our neighbors will also make us unhappy, and it will be counterproductive to our self-interest of being happy. Anybody who tells us to be selfless is actually selfish (because he has some selfish purposes); he is the same like us who want the leader to be selfless. Hypocritical politicians are selfish but have no courage to admit it but pretend to be selfless. A truly selfless leader would want the people to be selfish, because he wants nothing from us but for us to live our lives to the fullest. A great leader would prioritize the interests of the people. He will be happiest when the people are happy. (先天下之忧而忧，后天下之乐而乐。) To be a leader, he must be humble. To be in the leading role, he must leave his self-interest behind the interests of the people (because he has very little desires). Hence, the people are not worry to let him lead the way, and don’t feel burden with him on top. Everybody wants him to be the leader. Because he doesn’t compete with the people, nobody wants to compete with him for the leadership role. (是以圣人之欲上民也，必以其言下之。其欲先民也，必以其身後之。故居前而民弗害也，居上而民弗重也，天下乐推而弗猒也。非以其无争与，故天下莫能与争。)
In Chinese tradition, the Emperor has no private life (天子无私事), because his private matters are the public matters. His conducts can affect the life and death of the people because his government monopolizes the use of forces. The public have the rights to know his every move, at least conceptually, including which woman he sleeps with each night, which prince he wishes to appoint as the heir, and how much money he has. The government declare publicly the principle that the Emperor must be morally upright and totally transparent (正大光明). It implies that the Emperor should be worried about losing his legitimacy if he breaks the moral codes. Although the principle was simply ignored by the Emperor and his government during the decaying period of each dynasty, it was better than the silence on moral codes of some Western governments. The silence was deafening when the autocratic Kings did some of the most ridiculous things in the world history without any restraint. Even in today’s democratic countries, politicians follow the principle of “survival of the fittest”; defeating the rivals and cheating the people are legitimate so long as the evidence of violating the laws cannot be proven. It is a game of “don’t get caught” in the name of rule-of-law. The people don’t see there is anything wrong for the fittest to defeat the weak; the weak people only have themselves to blame for being weak. Everybody will try to avoid punishments but not feel ashamed to break the laws.
Shakyamuni Buddha said: “Health is the greatest gift. Contentment is the greatest wealth. Faithfulness is the best relationship.” Lao Zi said: “When the world is peaceful, horses are used in farming operations. When the world is in chaos, horses give birth in the remote war zones. The greatest sin is no greater than greedy for benefits. The greatest crisis is no greater than not contented with life. The greatest trouble is no worse than desire to obtain ambitious success, wealth and fame. Therefore, the satisfaction of contentment is the real satisfaction.” (天下有道，却走马以粪；天下无道，戎马生于郊。罪莫大于可欲，祸莫大于不知足，咎莫大于欲得。故知足之足，恒足矣。) The greedy desires of the leader and followers can cause chaos. Everybody including animals will suffer. If the people see that health is the greatest gift, they will not want too much development which will be detrimental to their health, physically and mentally. If the people see that contentment is the greatest wealth, they will not want anything to be promised by the leader. If the people see that faithfulness is the best relationship, they will greatly value their family time.
Why do people want to become rich and successful? It is because they have a big “bowl-of-desire” in their minds which disable them from feeling satisfied until and unless the “bowl” is fully filled up. The sufferings that they go through in life are all self-inflicted (咎由自取). If you cut down the size of the “bowl”, then it can be filled up quickly. The solution is so simple but very few have the intelligent to do it. You are rich and successful when you really feel satisfied with yourself regardless of how little money you have. Unfortunately, you will not be able to apply the solution if you fear too much about what other people think. When you have the uncommon mental toughness to resist the influence and common thinking of the mass of common people, you will feel contented and happy instead of envying the “hungry ghosts” who must consume much more to relieve their hunger and quench their thirst. You can be poor but happy (贫而乐) and not miserable (贫而不穷). Some people are rich but miserable (穷) because the only thing they have is money but nothing else.
It is almost a parody when someone makes a big bottle himself and then feels sad and keeps complaining about not being able to fill up the bottle with water for days when a small cup is enough to quench his thirst. When asked why he keeps enlarging the bottle every day, he replied: “Everybody says a bigger bottle is better.” A few days later, the bottle breaks and he hasn’t drank a single sip. It is another parody when a clever guy named “right” and another named “wrong” keep chasing each other in a circle when an intelligent master sit quietly at the center enjoying the clownish performance of the two clever guys who keep arguing about who is cleverer.
A man keeps slapping his face. He dislikes the pain but somehow likes the feeling after the pain subsided. When asked why he keeps hurting himself, he replied: “It is easier said than done. I want to stop but I just can’t do it.” Some people like to do the wrong thing to hurt themselves physically and mentally, causing them to feel fear, sad or angry. They refuse to stop but give excuses such as it is hard to stop.
RESILIENT KID 