Many people want to collect medals. They believe the purpose of living is to become successful leaders (in politics, military, businesses, religions, societies, educations, etc.). They would do absolutely everything to collect their medals. As the leaders, they want peace and order, and that often means obedient followers. As a result, we live under constraint, compulsion, oppression, and undue influence; all in the name of peace and order, sometime also in the name of law and justice. Is the absence of war equivalent to peace?
The simplest hideout to find peace of mind is in the wild. Some intelligent individuals hide in the city by being little different from all other common people and still find peace of mind. In the king’s court, extremely intelligent personnel could be hiding among the villains and not being targeted; he is able to stay equanimity and not swayed into undesirable emotional state. (小隐隐于野, 中隐隐于市, 大隐隐于朝。)
Not making enemy with anybody and hiding (in the wild, city, or among the villains) may not be sufficient to maintain peace of mind. Fearful of war will make you cowardice. Being not fearful of war doesn’t necessarily mean you like to go to war. In fact, not fearful of war is another important way to avoid conflicts. Villains like to victimize weak people. Learning martial art and not afraid to fight can avoid being challenged. You must be ready to fight before you can negotiate for a peace treaty (能战后能言和), otherwise any peace deal will just be temporary and the villains will come back for more rewards. If a war is inevitable, defend your family. No superhero would hesitate to kill villains.
From Sun Zi Art of War, if you have the weakness of being greedy, the enemy can use what you like to lure you (利而诱之). If you have bad temper, the enemy can use what you dislike as a mean to enrage you and lead you to make missteps (怒而挠之). If you are a humble and careful person, the enemy can pretend to lose or retreat and make you feel proud so that you lower your guard (卑而骄之). If you stay hermit in your fort, the enemy can find ways to make you sleepless and become tired (佚而劳之). If your team is united but there is lacking in trust (because of selfishness), the enemy can sow discord and create disharmony in your team (亲而离之). Complacency can lead to defeat. A leader must be selfless, no desire for personal profit or fear of personal loss, stay calm, be cautious, ready to fight and not simply relying on the fort for defense. Unity built on current benefits or threats is unreliable. Trust based on spiritual intelligence and mutual loves will be long lasting. Sun Zi said: “Five deadly weaknesses that a leader must avoid are: blind bravery and not afraid to sacrifice himself and his army, therefore he can be easily tricked to a battle and killed; afraid to die, therefore he can be easily tricked to flee and captured; bad temper, therefore he can be easily enraged to make mistakes; desire for clean name and reputation, therefore he can be easily humiliated to feel ashamed and lose his calm; love the people too much, therefore he can be easily frustrated and led into a trap.” (故军将有五危: 必死, 可杀也; 必生, 可虏也; 忿速, 可侮也; 廉洁, 可辱也; 爱民, 可烦也。)
Both spiritual intelligence and cognitive intelligence are important for your happiness, whether or not you become a leader. Blind bravery, blind love for your life and the life of everybody, bad temper, and desire for clean name (as opposed to being clean but not worry about what people think), can cause more harm than good albeit with good intention. You will have less weakness if you have less desire. An intelligent person will not be fooled (不惑) by desire. If you can be fooled by desire (迷惑), you are not really intelligent.
Lao Zi said: “There are three important principles that I uphold with determination: the first is unconditional love for others; the second is thrifty, emotionally and financially; the third is dare not compete to become a world leader. One who has unconditional love will be able to be courageous. One who is thrifty will be able to reach out more widely. One who dares not compete to become a world leader will be able to lead the accomplishment of various tasks. If we abandon unconditional love but only behave courageously; abandon thrifty but still try to reach out widely; abandon compromise and stay behind but be the first to start a fight; we will face great danger. A leader with unconditional love for his people will be able to win when he goes to a war; have a sturdy defense against aggressors when he set up a defensive wall. When the Nature wants to fortify something, it will use unconditional love to sustain it.” (我恒有三宝，持而保之：一曰慈，二曰俭，三曰不敢为天下先。慈故能勇，俭故能广， 不敢为天下先，故能成事长。今舍其慈，且勇；舍其俭，且广；舍其后，且先；则必死矣。夫慈，以战则胜，以守则固。天将健之，如以慈垣之。)
Confucius said: “A benevolent person will definitely have good advices for others, but a person who gives many advices to others is not necessarily a benevolent person. A compassionate person will definitely have courage to defend his love ones, but a courageous person is not necessarily a compassionate person.” (有德者必有言，有言者不必有德。 仁者必有勇，勇者不必有仁。)
If you have a small cup in your heart, it can be easily filled up. You don’t need too much to become satisfied. Contentment is the greatest satisfaction. You can then reserve and conserve all your loving energy for everybody around you and never think about reciprocation. That is the true unconditional love. You can give away everything you have because you know your brain and your health are your best assets and you will be able to live on without any other asset. If you have unconditional love, you will naturally have courage. You will be thrifty when you have contentment, because your low-level of desire is easily fulfilled. You must also be thrifty to everybody so that you conserve your loving energy to reach out widely. You would want everybody to have contentment so that he can be happy easily. You would want everybody to be self-reliant. War is always bad for everybody. You should never start a war, but preparation for self-defense is essential. Selfless defense against aggression will always win (哀兵必胜) even if your military force is weaker, although it may sometime take a longer year, like what happened in World Wars I and II.
RESILIENT KID 