Many people like to think they are right. They will challenge you for a competition or debate. They want to make you feel sad when you lose, but they make themselves feel sad when they lose. You are unwise if you accept their challenge; your happiness doesn’t have to come from their defeat, and you have no obligation to be the source of their happiness when you are defeated (夫唯不争 故莫能与之争). Competition is unnecessary; it is better if everybody works together for mutual good, or just improves oneself without thinking about winning against anyone. Competition is warranted only if it is for fun where no one feels sad when he loses. The competing members need not become enemies but partners in improving the sport. Confucius said: “A gentleman will not compete with anyone for anything. The only competition is archery. Each competitor will bow to the audiences and competitors before rising to the stage, and he will say cheers with a cup of wine when he comes down. This is the gentleman way of competition.” (君子无所争，必也射乎！揖让而升，下而饮，其争也君子。” A gentleman will learn the archery skills, but doesn’t mind about winning or losing. The way to serve the country and your personal wellbeing should be like archery: just shoot it and don’t worry about hitting the target or not, but take the process seriously with meticulous attention to detail; very careful and precise. (非独射也，为国与身亦皆如之。故圣人不查存亡，而察其所以然。)
Confucius said: “Using a tile as the bet, an archer has no mental burden; therefore, he can perform very well. Using an expensive item as the bet, an archer will have fear of losing the bet; therefore, his performance will become poorer. Using gold as the bet, an archer will feel great pressure in his mind; therefore, he may lose his skill completely.” The difference in the performance can be so big due to the influence of external factor. If you don’t care about winning or losing, you will be able to maximize your potential.
Lie Zi showed off his archery skill to Bo Hun Wu Ren. He held the bow at full draw, straighten his left hand, put a cup of water on his left arm, and his right hand shot the arrows repeatedly. The actions were extremely fast. Before the first arrow hit the target, the second arrow was already on the bow. Before the second arrow hit the target, the third arrow was already on the bow. The cup on his left arm didn’t spill out a single drop of water. Bo Hun said: “Your archery skill is considered “shooting with the heart”, and not “shooting without the heart”.” Bo Hun brought Lie Zi to a mountain cliff. With the back facing the abyss, the back of one heel touching the cliff, Lie Zi was asked to perform his archery skill. Lie Zi was sweating from head to toes and unable to stand straight. Bo Hun said: “A person who really knows the Dao will have no fear. Look at you; the mountain cliff can cause so much fear in you. Your heart is still at a great distance away from the Dao!” If you have no fear of making mistake, and no fear of getting humiliation from other people, your ability will not be adversely affected. If you are really fearless, you will not be afraid of anything that wouldn’t kill you.
Emperor Shun (舜) always thought of compassion and righteousness. He wanted all the people to be inspired by him and followed his lead. However, he was unable to rise above compassion and righteousness. Therefore, his mind was always troubled by the external world. Emperor Fu Xi (伏羲) slept soundly and waked up satisfied every day. His intelligent was natural with no artificial thought. His benevolence was natural with no pretentious giving. When he worked for the people, he was like a horse or a cow; totally natural, therefore his mind was not troubled by whatever happened. Be a leader naturally, if the people want you to be their leader. Love your work but never think about why you need to work. If you think about becoming a great leader, you will never become great, although you may become a leader among the countless number of leaders. Lao Zi said: “Great leader will never aim to achieve big ambition; therefore, he can become the leader who presided over the big achievement.” (是以圣人终不为大，故能成其大。) None of the great leaders in the history envisioned themselves to achieve the great successes that they eventually did; they achieved them (accidentally) by eyeing small targets one at a time. A leader who makes promises lightly (about achieving a big target) will seldom be able to keep his words. A leader who presumes all problems are easy to solve will face a lot of difficulties. (夫轻诺必寡信，多易必多难。)
Great leaders in the history never attended classes on leadership skills. They developed their leadership quality instead. Someone without leadership quality but tries to apply leadership skills to manage difficult situations will face a lot of difficulties because he can only use the leadership tools to cope with the symptoms one-by-one but not eliminating the root cause of the problems; the “mother” keeps giving birth to new “babies”, and the state of no-intervention and no-more problem (无为而无不为) can never be created. He can only become a manager but not a leader. Learning and imitating the leadership skills of great leaders will only give you the leadership form but not the spirit (得其形而不得其神). By having a profound leadership quality, every action of great leaders is construed as a leadership skill to be learnt by youngsters; but it is really a natural and spontaneous behavior or action of the great leader without them thinking about leadership skills. Great leaders achieved great successes because their leadership quality inspired and united great helpers to work hand-in-hand for a greater purpose than personal gains. No leader can achieve great success single-handedly without the valuable contributions from great helpers.
RESILIENT KID 