Table of Content: HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK
Master Yoda, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Luke Skywalker didn’t die; they gave up themselves to integrate with the Mother Nature (羽化). They become free from the cycle of birth and death – Parinirvana (涅槃). They can come and go as they like (如来); because they come from nowhere and not going anywhere (如来者，无所从来，亦无所去，故名如来) like the Mother Nature. The super-entity is one entity; there is no more differentiation between Me, People, Animals, and all Living Things (with limited lifespan). (若菩萨有我相。人相。众生相。寿者相。即非菩萨。) There is no more earthly desire or concern. If the Mother Nature has any feeling, then it will also turn old like all living things (天若有情天亦老). The Mother Nature has no preferential love; it cares for all things in the universe equally and no selected group receives special care. It treats all things like straw dogs used as offering in sacred ceremony (天地不仁 以万物为刍狗). The Buddha has no intention to transfer intelligence to all the people (汝等勿谓如来作是念：我当度众生) and free them from life suffering. Intelligence can only be learnt by individuals themselves. The Buddha will never claim any credit. The people must learn the personal accountability to become self-reliant. The Sage will never claim any credit for the success of the people (为而弗恃也 成功而弗居也 夫唯弗居 是以弗去); the Sage will retire after he has accomplished his task (功遂身退 天之道也). The Buddha and the Sage have no desire; instead, they wish to own nothing so that they have nothing to lose.
The ultimate objective of all religions is to help each and every follower to become a good person of the world; not just as a good person of his religion (with biases toward his own religion against other religions). When you truly become a good person, you will not continue to think that you are a follower of a particular religion, because you will love everybody equally; no more differentiation between Me, People, Animals, and all Living Things (with limited lifespan). The originators created their methods from nothing. There are differences in the methods used by all the great leaders, but there is no difference in the ultimate objective. (一切贤圣皆以无为法而有差别。) There is no fixed method to achieve the ultimate objective; but there are different methods that we can follow (有不是实有，无不是实无). If you think your methods are right, obviously you will think the methods of other religions are wrong; if you think no fixed method really means there is no good method, evidently you will become bewilder; and you will experience the sufferings of birth and death. (以有为有，以无为无，则必然有生有灭。)
On one fine day, Zhuang Zi was fishing beside a river. The King of the Chu’s State sent two officers to visit him. An officer said: “Our King wishes to entrust the country in your hands and makes you the Prime Minister. Would you please come with us?” Zhuang Zi said: “I heard that the Chu’s State had a sacred turtle. Its shell is placed in a shrine and used for fortune telling purpose. May I ask you: do you think the turtle willingly sacrificed so that its shell receives high respect from the people? Or it would rather choose to live and turn its body in a muddy pond?” The officer replied: “It would surely choose to live and turn its body in a muddy pond!” Zhuang Zi said: “Very well! You can now go back home. I also choose to pull along my tail and turn my body in a muddy pond.” Your life is much more valuable than the so-called “honor” which is highly desired by the common people. Dying or suffering for the sake of “honor” is unwise. The “honor” will be a burden to you instead of a precious thing as you are mis-educated to believe. You can live happily without it, but the bait lures you to waste your energy and life to get the useless junk in the end. You are made to believe that you have reached a higher position, but in fact you are actually going further away from the Dao.
Another day, Zhuang Zi was invited to become a minister in the government. Zhuang Zi said: “Have you seen the sacrificial cow? It is fed with the best grass and beans. Its body is covered with beautiful cloth. However, there will be a day when it is brought to the shrine for sacrificial ceremony. At that time, although it wishes to go back to the wild and become a lonely cow, it may not be able to do as it wishes.” You may think that you can quit whenever you wish, but you may not have the freedom to do it when the time comes.
More often than not, the obvious solution is not the best solution. When everybody thinks that a successful career is the primary measurement of a happy life, chasing career achievement or envying the success of rich individuals will actually make you unhappy. An unhappy life cannot be considered as a successful life. You must be fearful when others are greedy; you must take a contrarian stand instead of following the crowd. Some people think that having no desire is a boring and bitter life. It is actually quite the contrary. When you have desire, you will whip yourself to do a lot of work in order to satisfy your desire. The level of desire will increase, and you will then need more to satisfy the higher threshold level below which you cannot feel happy. It is like opium addiction. Therefore, you will whip yourself harder, and feel unhappy along the journey until and unless the threshold level is exceeded; not to mention that you will stay unhappy for the rest of your life if you can never achieve the successful career which you long for. All the problems which you face may seem so complex and difficult to solve. Actually, the solution is quite simple. With a switch in mindset to become no desire, all the problems will suddenly become irrelevant to you. The so-called problems become not your problems, or not even a problem anymore. You are totally free; someone else’s problems shouldn’t affect your happiness. Disorders in this world are parts of the reality; expecting zero disorder is being judgmental or being a perfectionist. Therefore, disorders are not really a problem, and do not require your desire to meddle around. Fearing to see disorders is the problem; the solution is to have no fear because there is no problem for having disorders. The greatest defect is perfection. By having no desire, the threshold level to attain happiness is very low. Every little victory can make you happy. You don’t have to do too much and yet you will be happy every single day.
A giant phoenix flies a few thousand feet in the sky. Everything on the ground looks so small. If everything look small to you, that means you have the vision of the giant phoenix. Success, failure, rich, poor, beautiful, ugly, fame, pain, illness, old-age, death, and practically nothing impress or disappoint you. That is the right thing to do for our happiness. Don’t take anything seriously.
RESILIENT KID 