Table of Content: HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK
The biggest problem people have in the modern world compared to past centuries is we are unable to feel happy on our own. It is like a disability; like we have evolve into a species which cannot “walk”. Especially in the modern countries, approximately 10%-25% of the population report experiencing a common mental health problem (such as anxiety and depression) each year. We can expect there are much more who are feeling unhappy every day. Every year, The World Happiness Report ranks 156 countries by their happiness levels, and 117 countries by the happiness of their immigrants. Of course, the way in which the Happiness Index is calculated may not really reflect how the population feel; just like how the official Consumer Price Index (CPI) does not reflect the economic reality of price changes in that there is a big gap between actual consumer experience and government data. Happiness is more appropriately measured using the method Psychologists and Psychiatrists use to measure depression, anxiety, and stress. Nevertheless, the fact that people are concern enough to measure happiness of the population shows that it is really a problem which rightfully need a solution. To find the solution, we must first investigate the root cause of the problem. Why we become more unhappy when our living standard has improved tremendously compared to past centuries? Is it fair to blame it on the quality of housing, material comfort, digital gadgets, and wealth experienced by us? Is it fair to blame it on wealth inequality? The Happiness Index is a measurement of how we should feel happy with what we have, but it doesn’t reflect what we actually feel.
Happiness is determined by how we manage our expectations in every aspect of our lives. We feel happy when the outcomes meet our expectations; we feel unhappy otherwise. Obviously, if we set our expectations too high, chances are we will be unhappy most of the time. We don’t feel grateful with what we already have; we don’t know how fortunate we are compared to our parents and grandparents; and many hardcore poor people in the world. We become so sensitive with what other people say; we get angry when we think we are right but other people say we are wrong. We live in the greatest prison which is the fear of what other people think. We feel envy or even jealous of what the rich have. We want to be as clever and successful as someone we admire. We want to be famous, or at least admirable by countless others. We want to have friends to help us but not so much about being a good friend who helps others. We like to hear what we want to hear. We are afraid to die although we don’t feel the joy of living. We want to live longer and healthier than everybody else. We want to occupy the seat and continue playing the game; we refuse to let go and leave it to others to have a chance to play it. We want so much from life, not realizing that happiness is running away faster as we chase it. We must pursue happiness by not pursuing it; happiness will then come to us voluntarily.
HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK
When everybody is empowered to feel happy in all circumstances, everybody will be resilient. Nobody will need help from anybody, except in some rare occasions. Nobody will need to help anybody, except in some rare occasions. Nobody will spread lies, consume too much and cause climate crisis, behave violently towards others, need social welfare, tax the rich, need internet privacy, and anything which is not really essential to live happily every second of the day. The Earth will not need our help. That is the best benevolence. The best benevolence is no need for benevolence.
I have many imperfections (not healthy, not wealthy, not beautiful, etc.); but that doesn’t mean there is any problem with me. Similarly, the world has many imperfections; but that doesn’t mean there is any problem which MUST BE solved. The world is perfectly imperfect. When people are unhappy, they see every imperfection as a problem; they further have an issue with every solution. The imperfections need not be perfected. Of course, we can try to improve them; but viewing them as problems is not necessary. Linguistically, we can call them “problems”; but they are not real problems which MUST BE solved, or deserve the sacrifice of our inner peace. People feeling unhappy is the biggest “problem”.
RESILIENT KID 