Table of Content: HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK
There are always beautiful and ugly sides in everything, depending on your ability or preoccupation to appreciate the art. Some people think a particular painting is beautiful, while some others think it is ugly. In other words, the painting is not absolutely beautiful or ugly; otherwise, there wouldn’t be disagreement. The painting is neither beautiful nor ugly. It is our heart which is restless and desires to see reality as being divided. A real truth is one which everybody agrees. Nobody disagrees about the nature of the Sun and the Moon. Nobody disagrees that love binds the people together. The problem is some people choose to divide love for all mankind into separate classes for different races or tribes; more love for my tribe and less love for other tribe. The tribe mentality is really an outdated primitive thinking. Nevertheless, there are beautiful and ugly sides in tribe mentality as well, depending on how you wish to look at it.
Affirmative action is a race-based policy. It selectively help one race at the expense of another race. It positively discriminates or advantages one race and negatively discriminates or disadvantages another race. Affirmative action is implemented in the US and China to help the minority races; whereas it is implemented in Malaysia to help the majority race. Nevertheless, there are beautiful and ugly sides to both the positively and negatively discriminated groups. In the US, some American Africans are lifted from poverty and many hold high positions in the government (including President of the US) and corporate world. On the other hand, the positive discrimination also indirectly discourages many others to work hard and they eventually become complacent or lazy. The perks and special quotas make them less competitive. Some people believe that the affirmative action is a policy make by the White to permanently cement the Black in the lower class of the society. Officially, the Black are positively discriminated; but unofficially, they are negatively discriminated because both White and Black bosses will see them as inferior to others who do not receive the perks. The self-confidence of the Black is also adversely affected; they themselves will subconsciously feel inferior to others. What else can you expect? Between the person who give alms and one who receive the alms, who is more prestigious? It is a natural law of cause and effect that the Black are negatively discriminated in the work places. Since the affirmative action is funded by the majority group to help the minority group, each member of the majority group only contributes a negligible amount to the funding. Similarly, the disadvantages to the majority group are not greatly felt. When the affirmative action is funded by the minority group to help the majority group, the burden on the minority group will be enormously heavy. The disadvantages to the minority group are greatly felt, especially to the poor people within the minority group. Nevertheless, there are beautiful and ugly sides to the minority group which is negatively discriminated.
Common people can only feel happy when they gain from receiving benefits. Enlighten individuals feel happy when they have the capacity and capability to give benefits to poor people who need helps. It is a prestige. The problem with affirmative action is it does not educate the recipients to become Enlighten individuals. Instead, it brainwash them to feel grateful and therefore loyal to the State which robs Peter to pay Paul. The State gains the political benefits, at the expense of the financiers. The State only emphasizes “gratefulness” and “loyalty” instead of “scolding” and pushing the recipients to become self-reliant and wean off the “marijuana”. The State indirectly makes the recipients permanently reliant on the State. I don’t see this as benevolence. Real benevolence is a policy which is geared towards making the recipients self-reliant eventually and never again need any help from anyone including the State. Education in terms of ethics is the key; skill training is secondary although it is also important. Without the ethics of being respectful, forgiving, trustworthy, hardworking, and helpful to others, a genius will be useless because no one wants to work with him and he cannot work together with anyone.
As a person who receive the benefits, you get the euphoric effect of the “marijuana”. Those who wean off the dependency will become successful. These are the people who really get the good effect of the affirmative action. Those who develop substance abuse and become addicted will get the bad effect of the affirmative action. In your assessment, is there more people who get the good effect than those who get the bad effect? Honestly, the lives of the poor people are greatly improved by the affirmative action. The wealth gap is under control. Inequality did not worsen to the extent of causing class warfare and social chaos. However, the addicted lot are also trapped to permanently being cemented in the lower class of the society.
As the people who are disadvantaged by the affirmative action, you don’t get the “marijuana”. That may be good for you. Pain is certain, but suffering is optional. Although you live through the pain, you may not feel suffer in terms of sadness or anger if you use your mind to self-hypnotize and overcome the pain. Pain which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Some people succeeded due to good education in terms of ethics. Many are overwhelmed by the pain and cannot rise in the social ladder. A little bit of “marijuana” would have helped them greatly to suppress the pain and give them the time needed to heal themselves.
Some people advocates a need-based rather than race-based affirmative action. The good and bad effects will be the same. However, I think it is needed. Wrong thing is not always bad. Right thing is not always good. Right is wrong if it causes chaos. Wrong is right if it creates harmony. On the other hand, education to emphasize good ethics of being respectful, forgiving, trustworthy, hardworking, and helpful to others, is paramount. It must not be just some texts for memorization and regurgitation in the examination, but actually bring about permanent changes in behaviors — that is the true meaning of education. The State must not ask for gratitude but educate the people to become self-reliant and feel ashamed to forever expect to receive social welfare or food stamps. Only when the people are empowered to be self-reliant that a nation can become strong. Strong leader alone is inconsequential; because the nation must be built by the people, for the people. The nation will then truly be a land of the people where everybody feels a sense of ownership and not just a sense of belonging.
RESILIENT KID 