Before his enlightenment, while he was still only an unenlightened Bodhisatta, Siddhartha Gautama thought: “Suppose that, being myself subject to ageing, sickness, death, sorrow, and defilement, having understood the danger in what is subject to ageing, sickness, death, sorrow, and defilement, I seek the unageing, unailing, deathless, sorrowless, and undefiled supreme security from bondage, Nibbāna.” Later, while still young, a black-haired young man endowed with the blessing of youth, in the prime of life, though his mother and father wished otherwise and wept with tearful faces, Siddhartha Gautama shaved off his hair and beard, put on the yellow robe, and went forth from the home life into homelessness. — Majjhima Nikāya 26.
Various teachers taught Siddhartha Gautama the right way to practice the holy path. He adopted an extreme ascetic life in search of enlightenment for six years. It was deemed the right way. A woman named Sujata mistaken him to be a tree-spirit that had granted her wish of having a child. She fed Gautama Buddha a bowl of milk-rice pudding. The gift helped him to regain enough strength. He then rejected the right way (i.e. ascetism) taught by his teachers and started his own new way of meditation. He attained the undefiled supreme security from bondage, Nibbāna, using a way which is not right but not wrong. It is known as the Middle Way. The right way is one extreme, while the wrong way is another extreme. Siddhartha Gautama became the Buddha.
He considered: ‘This Dhamma that I have attained is profound, hard to see and hard to understand, peaceful and sublime, unattainable by mere reasoning, subtle, to be experienced by the wise. But this generation delights in worldliness, takes delight in worldliness, rejoices in worldliness. It is hard for such a generation to see this truth, namely, specific conditionality, dependent origination. And it is hard to see this truth, namely, the stilling of all formations, the relinquishing of all acquisitions, the destruction of craving, dispassion, cessation, Nibbāna. If I were to teach the Dhamma, others would not understand me, and that would be wearying and troublesome for me.’
Then, he met Brahmā Sahampati. “Venerable sir, let the Blessed One teach the Dhamma, let the Sublime One teach the Dhamma. There are beings with little dust in their eyes who are wasting through not hearing the Dhamma. There will be those who will understand the Dhamma.” Pleaded Brahmā Sahampati. The Buddha saw that there were beings with little dust in their eyes and with much dust in their eyes, with keen faculties and with dull faculties, with good qualities and with bad qualities, easy to teach and hard to teach, and some who dwelt seeing fear in blame and in the other world. Out of compassion for beings, he agreed to teach the Dhamma.
The Buddha initially intended to visit his former teachers, Alara Kalama and Udaka Ramaputta, to teach them his insights, but they had already died. He then visited his five former companions, the ascetics with whom he had shared six years of hardship. At the Deer Park at Isipatana, the five ascetic bhikkhus saw the Buddha coming in the distance, and they agreed among themselves thus: ‘Friends, here comes the recluse Gautama who lives luxuriously, who gave up the right way of striving, and reverted to luxury. We should not pay homage to him or rise up for him or receive his bowl and outer robe. But a seat may be prepared for him. If he likes, he may sit down.’ The Buddha said he would teach them the Dhamma. The bhikkhus of the group of five answered thus: “Friend Gautama, by the conduct, the practice, and the performance of austerities that you undertook, you did not achieve any superhuman states, any distinction in knowledge and vision worthy of the noble ones. Since you now live luxuriously, having given up your striving and reverted to luxury, how will you have achieved any superhuman states, any distinction in knowledge and vision worthy of the noble ones?” The Buddha told them: “The Tathāgata does not live luxuriously, nor has he given up his striving and reverted to luxury. The Tathāgata is an Accomplished One, a Fully Enlightened One. Listen, bhikkhus, the Deathless has been attained. I shall instruct you, I shall teach you the Dhamma. Practicing as you are instructed, by realizing for yourselves here and now through direct knowledge you will soon enter upon and abide in that supreme goal of the holy life for the sake of which clansmen rightly go forth from the home life into homelessness.” After a few persuasions, the five ascetic bhikkhus were finally convinced to learn the Dhamma. They all attained enlightenment after practicing as they are instructed. They attained the unageing, unailing, deathless, sorrowless, and undefiled supreme security from bondage, Nibbāna.
“Bhikkhus, these two extremes should not be followed by one who has gone forth into homelessness. What two? The pursuit of sensual happiness in sensual pleasures, which is low, vulgar, the way of worldlings, ignoble, unbeneficial; and the pursuit of self-mortification, which is painful, ignoble, unbeneficial. Without veering towards either of these extremes, the Tathāgata has awakened to the middle way, which gives rise to vision, which gives rise to knowledge, which leads to peace, to direct knowledge, to enlightenment, to Nibbana.” — Saɱyutta Nikāya 56.11. https://books2read.com/b/bwaM79
Life is meaningless without happiness. The secret to happiness is: right concentration and focusing inwards to find inner peace instead of searching at the wrong places outwards. It is not impossible to feel happy under any circumstances. One must have a strong mind to stay laser focus on achieving the result of feeling happy. Without your reaction, external situation and other people are powerless on you. If you are unmoved like the mountain, nothing and no one can hurt your feeling. You can be unmoved if you stop wanting to be “right” based on the definition of someone else. Attachments to views, rules and rituals are fetters binding oneself to this world which lead to suffering. If you already have the right view and right thought, you don’t have to debate with anybody. It’s OK for you to be different, and it’s OK for others to be different. Don’t think of being superior or inferior to others. Focus on being happy here and now; that’s the most important thing. Be happy being who you are. Don’t look for a successful personality and duplicate it.
At a different time/space/amount, what is formerly right may become not right or wrong.
Lao Zi said: “What I advocated is easy to understand the logic and easy to put into action. However, few want to understand and apply it.” (吾言甚易知也 甚易行也 而人莫之能知也 而莫之能行也)
Confucius said: “I wish to stop talking.” His disciple was alarmed and asked: “Master. If you stop talking, how could we learn from you?” Confucius replied: “What did Heaven ever say? The four seasons continue to rotate, and all living things continue to survive. What did Heaven ever say?” (《论语·阳货》子曰：“予欲无言。”子贡曰：“子如不言，则小子何述焉？”子曰：“天何言哉？四时行焉，百物生焉，天何言哉？”)
Fortunately, the Buddha/Lao Zi/Confucius have finally agreed to teach the Dhamma or philosophies, out of compassion for beings. There is nothing that they want from us or anybody. They just want us to practice as we are instructed, by realizing for ourselves here and now through direct knowledge we will soon enter upon and abide in that supreme goal of the holy life of having unshakable inner peace and happiness. They have no fear, anger, anxiety, depression, sorrow, grief, lamentation, pain, displeasure, and despair. Whether we say they are right or not, they would remain unmoved.
Zhuang Zi said: “If we don’t have the desire to seek acceptance from anybody about who we really are, what we believe in, what we say and do, we will not be bothered to do more when the whole world praises us; we will not feel disappointed when the whole world disagrees with us. Our self-worth need not depend on how other people think of us. Human distinctions of honors and disgraces are false; none of these external things are important for our happiness.” (举世而誉之而不加劝，举世而非之而不加沮，定乎内外之分，辩乎荣辱之境，斯已矣。) It’s a matter of finding a balance point, or the right measure (拿捏分寸).
“People who believe they are good have morals, values and ethics. They hang on to this right and wrong, this morality and value systems because they give them a false sense of superiority. People who believe they are good are always looking down at the world. It is a sure way to miss the world. Even the most beautiful woman will not look very beautiful when you look from the top. Because you are continuously looking down, everything looks ugly and black – unless they are bald and shiny. Good people are everywhere. They have their values, they have their principles, they are very ethical, but they could live here for years being completely untouched by what is happening here. It doesn’t matter what you do, they remain untouched in their goodness. They live with the hope that good people go to Heaven.” – Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev
RESILIENT KID 