Loving-kindness

Is feeling angry pleasurable or suffering? I don’t like feeling angry. It is not pleasurable at all. Instead of expecting others to never make me angry, it is better to cultivate myself such that my emotion is unmoved by whatever happens in the external world. It is best to cultivate oneself to become angerless rather than expecting the physical world to always be cooperative and everything goes well. 

Can you imagine an angry person to show loving-kindness (i.e. Metta) at the same time? Only a person with loving-kindness will be angerless and have no suffering due to anger. In other words, loving-kindness is first and foremost for the happiness of oneself. Without loving-kindness, one will be floating in the sea of suffering. A person who has cultivated the liberation of the mind will naturally have loving-kindness. However, one can also cultivate liberation of the mind by loving-kindness.

“Here, a bhikkhu might say thus: I have developed and cultivated the liberation of the mind by loving-kindness, made it my vehicle and basis, carried it out, consolidated it, and properly undertaken it, yet ill will still obsesses my mind. He should be told: ‘Not so! Do not speak thus. Do not misrepresent the Blessed One; for it is not good to misrepresent the Blessed One, The Blessed One would certainly not speak in such a way. It is impossible and inconceivable, friend, that one might develop and cultivate the liberation of the mind by loving-kindness, make it one’s vehicle and basis, carry it out, consolidate it and properly undertake it, yet ill will could still obsess one’s mind. There is no such possibility. For this, friend, is the escape from ill will, namely, the liberation of the mind by loving-kindness.‘ ” – Anguttara Nikaya 6.13

“What do you think, bhikkhu, if a youth were to develop the liberation of the mind by loving-kindness from his childhood on, would he do a bad deed?” “No, Bhante.” “Could suffering affect him if he does no bad deed?” “No, Bhante. For what account could suffering affect one who does no bad deed?” – Anguttara Nikaya 10.219

Some people may say it is hard to have loving-kindness and become angerless. The reason is they expect others to supply a sense of well-being to them. In a way, they are beggars who want something from others. They want others to never make them angry instead of cultivating themselves such that their emotion is unmoved by whatever happens in the external world. They want the physical world to always be cooperative and everything goes well. They want everything to be perfect instead of being content with imperfections. If he starts being one who supplies a sense of well-being to others, feeling happy to make others happy, he stops being a beggar and starts being a giver. It is important to know that one is already self-sufficient and feels content with what he has rather than chasing for what he wants to have.