All religions preach about abandonment of greed. Everybody agrees that greed is bad to oneself and others. Unfortunately, everybody including religious authorities think they are smart enough to judge how much greed they can have before they burn themselves. In other words, everybody including religious authorities think that a little bit of greed is fine. They contradict themselves. How much greed is not too much? One cannot be selfless when he has greed, even a little bit. (So, the next time somebody advises you to be selfless, you can tell him to show selflessness first before he starts preaching about selflessness.) When one thinks in terms of I and My (such as myself, my family, my race, my country, my religion, etc.), he cannot be truly selfless, therefore he will have greed, although he can minimize it. Only when you have no consciousness of the self, don’t see yourself as the body or inside the body, then you can become selfless. Truly selfless means emptiness of self, therefore no place for dust to stick on. Truly selfless means you will have no pleasure and displeasure; because there is no sensual organ to turn contact with external objects/phenomena (forms, sound, odors, tastes, touches, and doctrines) into suffering or otherwise. You will be truly emancipated/liberated. You will have no fear, no obligation, and no guilt. So you see, this kind of selflessness is for your own happiness and self-interest. It is the greatest selfishness; the greatest selfishness is selflessness.

Greedy for more believers and lavish temples/churches/mosques is a kind of greed. Greedy for the benefits in the afterlife or present life, therefore desire to make donations and do charities (or show compassion) is also a form of greed. Due to competition for more followers, religious authorities (including the self-appointed ones) hate the existence of other religions. So, greed leads to hatred. When one desires to see something happens and desires to see other things never happens, he has delusion and not able to see reality as it is; he wants reality to be what he wishes to see. If you want to end greed in the world, it is also a form of greed. Using one greed to destroy another greed is impossible. However, you can choose to destroy your own greed if you understand that your greed is causing suffering to yourself and others.

Taking heroin will make you happy; would you take it? If you have to pay a million dollars to eat a super-special meal, would you eat it? You would probably say it is too expensive and you can live without that super-special meal. If a special meal is only ten dollars, but you don’t need it, is it wise to feel sad for not having it? If you are wise, I am sure you will not feel sad for not having something which you don’t need. The same applies to monetary wealth, colorful things, colorful life, sexual relationships, fame, and leisure. If you are contented, you are happy to live with little, and you have no desire to accumulate things which are impermanent, you will have no greed, therefore no suffering.

Death is certain. When we die, all the things (including relationships) which we accumulated will leave us or become beyond our reach. The suffering which we went through in order to accumulate those things is so clearly a stupid endeavor. If we further feel grief before we die, due to attachment to those things or fear of losing what we “own”, we will be doubly stupid.

See reality as it is instead of what you wish it to be. This will end your greed, and therefore your suffering. Be happy to enjoy this gift of life.

Sensual desires are like the itchiness of a leper. A leper scratches his body thinking it will stop the itchiness but it actually increases the itchiness. He then burn his wounds with ember and get a sense of pleasure. Will that cure his leprosy?

Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to What is the purpose of existence when one has no greed, no ambitions and no regrets?

Some people say greed was naturally born with us, so we should live with our greed. But we are also born with some sicknesses. Shouldn’t we get it cured if we can? Should we live like a leper? Sensual pleasures are like the burning ember which gives us a sense of pleasure. We perceive it as pleasure because of mental defilement. Scratching our itchiness is OK, but we must understand that it is better to have no itchiness.

All the major religions in the world have many sects; some of which are violent in that they use coercions in deed and word to force others to agree with them and be like them, hence imposing their belief system on others. Typically, the religious institutions see each other as enemies due to differences in their doctrines. Each is so certain their doctrines are perfectly correct which directly/indirectly accuses the other sects/religions to have wrong views whenever there are differences. Each becomes defensive and angry at the thought like this: “the other sects/religions MAY be accusing us of preaching the wrong doctrines, and their evil intention MAY be such as to steal our followers away from us; if one is not with us, he is against us.” They don’t care to find out whether such accusation is actually spoken or such evil intention does exist. The indirect implication (of the differences) alone is sufficient to hate the other sects/religions and wish them to be annihilated. In some countries, there are anti-blasphemy and anti-proselytization laws to protect the religion which desperately need protections. It is an open admission that the religion is so weak and may crumble if people are allowed to criticize the doctrines and attempt to convert someone from the religion to another; the laws are actually blasphemous against the religion. It exhibits moral bankruptcy and the lack of confidence for the religion. However, the presence of such delusion or stupidity does not necessarily mean the religion is bad. Religions reject no one; therefore, no one should reject any religion. It is the religious institutions and believers which are rejecting other religions and people of other religions. The act of rejecting religions simply means denying freedom of speech and expression. I am a believer of all religions in the sense that I accept all the doctrines; none are wrong, although some are not right, but that’s OK. However, it is impossible to apply or agree with all the doctrines of all religions (at the same time and space) for my happiness and wellbeing because there are contradictions between the religions. No religious institutions will accept me as their believer. They indirectly make me a believer of no religion simply because I don’t totally agree with a particular religion. They want all or nothing at all of me.

“Governing a big country should be like cooking a small fish. Applying Dao in governing the world, evil tricks will not become accepted belief or practices. Not only the ghost will not become god, the existence of god will not harm other people. Not only the god will not harm other people, the Sage also will not harm anybody or disapprove the belief. Because both the Sage and the god do not harm anybody, therefore the benevolence of each can interplay and contribute to the happiness of the people (治大国若烹小鲜 以道莅天下 其鬼不神 非其鬼不神也 其神不伤人也 非其神不伤人也 圣人亦弗伤也 夫两不相伤 故德交归焉).” If the people are educated to have open minds and critical thinking, they will not hinder freedom of speech and freedom of religion, and at the same time, they will not blindly believe anybody because they know there are a lot of lies and fake news around. Evil teaching cannot become popular. Religious teaching will not become controlling and intrude the personal lives of the people. So long as religious bodies do not brainwash the followers to harm other people, the government should allow them to exist. Religions can be good and bring happiness to some people. Whoever follows misguided ways, not abandoning greed, hatred and delusion, he will continue to be troubled by mental suffering and feel unhappy with his life. He shall reap what he sows.

The Buddha said: “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said, not even if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reasoning and you test it, experience and confirm the happiness which it brings to yourself and others.” I can’t test, experience and confirm the concept of rebirth and preventing rebirth. I can’t confirm the existence of Heaven and Hell, or Devas and God. Nevertheless, I love all the other Dhamma spoken by the Buddha; they are all very useful for my happiness and wellbeing here and now. After all, speculation or delusions about the afterlife, greedy for the rewards, or aversion of the dislike, or fear of the unknown in the future, are all not encouraged by the Buddha. We should concentrate on the present moment; annihilate and abolish lust, hatred, and delusion. Abhor and prevent ourselves from the misconduct in deed, word and thought. Cherish good conduct in deed, word and thought.

As a professor of Electrical Engineering, I always tell my students that the Circuit Theories which I teach are not right but very useful so long as they are applied in the analysis of circuits which operate at low frequencies. It is likely that many doctrines of various religions are not right. However, it doesn’t stop any religion from being useful, albeit the limitations at certain time and space. Preaching about the afterlife can be useful too. Moral conduct, charity, and spiritual development will enhance our happiness here and now if we do it right; the benefits in the afterlife as promised by the preachers will be extra bonuses if any of them comes forth. We lose nothing; nothing belongs to us, anyway. If we don’t expect perfection, nothing is really bad. Everything is impermanent, including good time and bad time. Good time will come after bad time, and vice versa. Bad time will be over in due time.

In the original teaching of the Buddha, the objective and profit of moral conducts are to eventually lead to liberation of the self. “Good conducts lead to freedom from remorse, which then leads to joy, delight, calm, happiness, concentration, knowing and seeing things as they really are, dispassion, and finally the direct knowledge and vision of liberation.” – Anguttara Nikaya 10.1. What we see today is many “generous” people do charity simply because it is a fashionable thing to do, for fame (to be known as a philanthropist) and avoid disparage (as an ungenerous man), or for the prospects of something to gain in this life or later (i.e. greed or craving). Religious institutions start to preach about generosity (Dana) for the interest of others more than moral conducts (Sila) for self-good and self-interest. They preach about praying in order to receive magnanimous “protections and material benefits” from past-away Bodhisattva more than personal accountability (i.e. whatever actions a person does, good or evil, of those he shall receive the fruitions). They start to think they are greater than the Buddha simply because they have much more compassion for the people, vowing to be a Bodhisattva forever and never enter nirvana (or exit the round of rebirth) like the Buddha until and unless the Hell becomes empty. They start to think of compassion as the most precious thing more invaluable than the original Dhamma of the Buddha. Unsurprisingly, common people crave for compassion, as much as everything else; but common view is not the Right View, and it is the root cause of suffering to themselves and others. Good Dhamma is extraordinary and not common; it would be nothing special if everybody can accept it, and not being accepted by common people precisely proves its subtleness. The compassion of the Buddha is in teaching the people to annihilate and abolish craving, including craving for compassion. Idolizing compassion as a precious thing is contradictory to the original Dhamma of the Buddha. Nevertheless, using a marketing tactic which entices the common people with Bodhisattva kind of compassion mentioned above, which the people crave for, is not necessarily wrong although it is not right. “If you want it, here it is, come and get it. But you’d better hurry because it’s going fast.” It is useful in catching the attention and attracting the common people to start having affinity to the religion and finally become attached to the Dhamma (守). Some of those may then be taught the true Dhamma which helps them to annihilate greed, hatred and delusion (破); finally, abolish all attachments (including attachment to the Dhamma and self identification) and become truly emancipated/liberated (离). Don’t carry the boat on your shoulder after you have crossed the river. Greedy for more followers and lavish temples, and greedy for worldly merits (福德) from “generosity” instead of pure merits (功德) from spiritual development, will not bring cessation of suffering.

Common people crave for selfless individuals to sacrifice themselves for the benefits of the people. Therefore, they think this kind of “selflessness” is precious and should be encouraged so long as it is supplied by others instead of themselves. Common people revere heroes who are men of actions; therefore, there is no shortage of individuals who wish to become heroes so that they are revered by the people. It is a craving for fame. Many of those heroes do things for the sack of doing. They simply assume they know what they are doing although they are not certain about the possible outcomes; yet they are blindly confident. Evidently, many human actions caused disasters. These heroes might have solved some problems but, at the same time, they created new problems. Anyway, epidemics and pandemics are not necessarily bad because these can lead to human progress. Black Death with massive death tolls led directly or indirectly to the Renaissance. Dynasties were destroyed, but then new dynasties arose. People disliked the disruption, but then they adapted. It’s OK to do it, if you are able and happy to do it, with good conduct in deed, word and thought. Think not it has to be you instead of someone else to save the day; and think not it will be the end of the world if you don’t do it. It’s OK not to do it; it makes no different if you take an overall view instead of localize or narrow view (in time and space). The immediate outcomes will be different, but none are bad; there are delayed gratifications from doing and also not doing. That’s OK. The world will not end, and human will not become extinct before a second sun comes near the current one. Have no fear, obligation and guilt.

The Buddha encourages selflessness which benefits the “selfish” interest of the self and also others. The “selfish” interest of being selfless is to have no attachment to the self, see the body as not self, thus liberated. When you have no self, or stop cognizing the body as the self, you will have no fear because nothing can harm the real you (which is not the body and not inside the body). The greatest selfishness is selflessness. Provide for the “selfish” interest of others by showing a good example and motivates them to cultivate themselves spiritually so that they can also achieve liberation. Purposely harming yourself to benefit others, because you have been brainwashed to do so, is a delusion or stupidity. However, if you die (i.e. your body breaks away or stop functioning) because it is unavoidable, that’s OK. Think not why it has to be you instead of someone else.

Cross the flood to reach the other shore by destructing delight for existence and ceasing all feeling, perception, volition, and consciousness. Don’t standstill nor strive too hard, because you will sink to the bottom if you standstill but you will be swept away if you struggle and not finding firm footing. Craving for non-existence is also an undesirable desire.

Those who really know the Dao will not say what it is; those who say it do not really know what they are talking about (知者弗言, 言者弗知). The real Dao cannot be fully described with words (道可道也 非恒道也); it can only be experienced, like Enlightenment. If it can be told, that only means it is not really a great thing; the greatest thing has no boundary (大方无隅 大器免成 大音希声 大象无形 道褒无名 夫唯道 善始且善成). Dao is in everything and everywhere. It is this at one time and space; it is that at another time and space (无常). Dao is the Way things are; like the cycles of sun rise and set, and the cycles of four seasons. Going with the flow will ensure safety; going against it will certainly lead to disasters. Something or some patterns never change, but unpredictable changes do occur from time to time. This world might not always make sense to you, but the world doesn’t always make sense, nor does it have to.

If one is shown the picture of an elephant, he will identify it as an elephant. But is it really an elephant? Does he really know what an elephant is? No, it is just a picture but not a real elephant. A person may be able to give a full description of the form/appearance (色) and physiology of all the internal/external organs of an elephant; but yet he can never know everything about a particular elephant. He won’t know every detail of the elephant. He won’t know the feeling, perception, volition, and consciousness (受想行识) of the elephant. If he claims to know what elephant is, that is a lie. If he claims to know nothing about elephant, that is also not true. Similarly, I don’t know what the real Dao is, because there is no way to know it. What I know is just the picture of Dao. One may be able to say what Dao is not, but no one is able to say what Dao is.

The best quality has the characteristic like the water. Water provides benefits to all things but never compete with them for anything, and it absorbs everything that others discard. This characteristic is close to Dao (上善若水 水善利万物而不争 居众人之所恶 故几于道矣). Water can permeate through minuscule seams. Dao and nothingness can permeate seamless things. Like water, Dao benefits all things. Dao thinks not what the fruition is for its karma. It just does what it does.

Dao has no desire. It doesn’t compete with anything. What Dao wants is nothing; no karma and no fruition. That is the perfect blissfulness of blamelessness (戒), equanimity (定), and mindfulness (慧). Dao knows not what right and wrong are. It doesn’t debate with anybody. Dao don’t quarrel with the world; the world quarrel with Dao (天之道 不战而善胜 不言而善应 不召而自来 单而善谋 天网恢恢 疏而不失). Competing or debating who is right and who is wrong, who is big and who is small, just goes to show the ego and the strong desire to become puff up with pride (企者不立 自视者不章 自见者不明 自伐者无功 自矜者不长 其在道也 曰 余食赘行 物或恶之 故有欲者弗居) which a person of wisdom will never encourage. Anyone who claims to know the Dhamma, and yet still has a mind overcome by defilement, is like a person who talks about wealth but can produce none when it’s needed.

Dao has no form and shape. It neither has attachment to rules nor tangible things. Like water, when it is in a cup, it becomes the cup. When it is in a bottle, it becomes the bottle. When it is in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. It is fluid and flexible. Water can flow and it can crash. Thus is the capability of Dao. Be like water, my friend. If one grasps tightly to religion V, moral code W, cultural ritual X, political ideology Y, or economic school of thought Z, he is mentally chained and not free to make proper considerations and direct his mind appropriately according to the changing situation and condition, or breadth and depth of the problem (清谈误国). He may do unwholesome karma because of that although he has no greed, hatred and delusion (Anguttara Nikaya 10.47) leading to the production of unwholesome fruits. Many people do bad things because of good intentions. “There are these ten fetters (or mental chains which bind people from attaining Enlightenment). Which ten? Self-identity views, doubt on the teachings, grasping at rules and rituals, sensual desire, ill will, passion for form, passion for formless, arrogance, restlessness, and ignorance.” – Anguttara Nikaya 10.13.

The river and the sea can become the kings of hundred streams because they take the lower position. Hence, they can receive the water from the hundred streams and become big river and sea (江海之所以能为百谷王者 以其善下之也 故能为百谷王). If there are some ideas which you care to listen but some other ideas which you can’t pay heed to, you are not learning from Dao. If there are some ideas which you permanently praise as right but some other ideas which you permanently despise as wrong, you are not learning from Dao. One can say he is an earnest learner of Dao only if he has ears for all ideas (耳顺). Accept “shit” but don’t eat it, unless it makes you happy in a particular time and space. Flow with circumstances, use soft and non-confrontational approach, and apply the appropriate ideas, to the appropriate extent, as and when the condition arises. Don’t be rigid, because rigidity is the characteristic of the dead. Think not you must do things, and think not you mustn’t do things. Think not you must do things in a certain way, and think not you mustn’t do things in a certain way (无为而无不为). Abandon attachment to rules of do-and-don’t. The Buddha said all the objects of sensual pleasure/displeasure (cognized through the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, touch, and mind) are like “shit”; but we must live like the lotus flower, consume the “shit” but never let it attaches to us. Doctrines or dogmas are sensual objects cognized through the mind. Learning from Dao makes one wants to learn everything and able to listen to “pleasing/displeasing” ideas; to gain gratifications from knowing and also not knowing (i.e. ignorance). There are no wrong ideas, but just useful or useless ideas at a particular time and space. Did Lao Zi teach the greatest doctrine? None of the doctrines in this world are the best. Lao Zi did not say what Dao was; he simply told us to have enough sense to realize that there can be no number one. The sea is the biggest water-body in the world. However, comparing the sea and the Heaven and Earth, the God of Northern Sea is like a small rock on a mountain; he dares not say he is the greatest. Dao is the greatest; Dao governs the Heaven, Earth, and human (人法地 地法天 天法道 道法自然). Dao started as one indefinable thing. That one thing splits into two, the Ying and Yang. Combination of Ying and Yang produces the third thing. The third thing evolves into millions of things (including Heaven, Earth and human). Everything has some Ying and some Yang. The right amount of both Ying and Yang will produce harmony, giving rise to something (道生一 一生二 二生三 三生万物 万物负阴而抱阳 中气以为和).

Confucius said: “A gentleman will not consider someone as a learned person simply based on his words. A gentleman will also not consider the words of a person are unworthy simply based on his unimpressive moral conduct or education background.” (子曰： “君子不以言举人，不以人废言。”) A gentleman will also not consider someone as unworthy simply based on his nonsensical words. If you dislike “shit”, you will forever have aversion towards it. No greed, no aversion, and no delusion are noble goals of spiritual training. Thus, you must have the stomach to learn everything, including “shit”. Lao Zi said: “Learning is to gain increasing knowledge. Practicing Dao is to digest the knowledge and reduce the memory burden, weaken the desire to recall the data or to act/make beneficial use of the data. Keep weakening the desire until there is no more desire to intervene or carry out ambitious plan.” (为学者日益 为道者日损 损之有损 以至于无为。) Learning should be for the purpose of self-elevation (to transcend the bondage or enslavement by the world) and emancipation/liberation. When you learn more about the history and the world today, you will understand that all doings produce not only good things but also bad things; therefore, you will find no delight in intervention. Zero is the result of not doing anything; zero is also the result of adding 100 and -100, although there may be more sense of pleasure to do than not to do. Develop the perfect wisdom (prajnaparamita, 般若波羅蜜多) to gain perfect blissfulness of blamelessness (戒), equanimity (定), and mindfulness (慧). “Freedom discovers you the moment you lose concern over what impression you are making or about to make.” – Bruce Lee.

We stand and sit upright because it makes us feel comfortable. It is not simply because we are instructed to do it. Not standing or sitting upright may not cause bodily pain for a while, but it will cause health problems in the long term; and it will cause bodily suffering which also leads to mental suffering (Duhkha) – double whamming, or suffering from two arrows. If we are wise, we will choose to always stand or sit upright (而立). If we learn to be freed of all Duhkha (through cessation all desires) (不惑), and we maintain good bodily health, we may be hurt by no arrows (i.e. no bodily and mental suffering) or only one arrow (i.e. only bodily suffering) when we grow old and die. Rules of do-and-don’t are not always necessary. Dao will naturally bless the person who follows benevolent ways. Dao will naturally not bless the person who follows misguided ways (同于德者 道亦德之 同于失者 道亦失之). Fears of the fruition of unwholesome karma, and fears of the punishments in the afterlife, are not always necessary. Similarly, prospects of the fruition of wholesome karma, and prospects of the rewards in the afterlife, are not always necessary. The rewards of perfect blissfulness here and now are of primary important. The rewards in the afterlife, if there is any, are bonuses (知天命). If we have no greed or craving, we will naturally never do evil (心地无非自性戒) and we don’t have to worry about being blamed for anything. Nevertheless, the precepts serve as useful reminders for people with defiled minds to do no evil (诸恶莫作). If we have no delusion of what should or shouldn’t happens, knowing that everything arises and ends due to conditions (万事万物因缘和合而生、因缘散尽而灭), we will naturally have perfect mindfulness to concentrate our attention on deep peace of mind (心地无痴自性慧) and have no attachment to anything including our bodies. Nevertheless, the advices and harangues to do charity or Dana serve as useful reminders for people to create an environment of goodwill and hospitality towards each other for the common benefits of everybody (众善奉行). If we have no aversion or hatred against anything, knowing that nothing can harm us since we have no self, we will naturally have perfect equanimity (心地无乱自性定). Nevertheless, meditations to prevent the minds from evil thoughts help people with defiled minds to restrain themselves and gain self-controls (自净其意). Having no desire, knowing that we are incapable of gaining or losing anything since we have no self, we came from nothing and will go with nothing, therefore no attachment to anything, we will naturally be mentally indestructible like diamond (不增不減自金剛). Stay calms (Samadhi) and stay cools wherever you go (身去身來本三昧). Attain the perfect wisdom and ability to do what your heart tells you to do, without violating the Dao (能从心所欲，不逾矩). “And the Arahant monks, who have destroyed the effluents (or uncontrolled mental outflow), lived the godly life, done what was to be done, laid down the burden, attained perfection, burst the bonds of becoming and are freed through perfect knowledge on hearing Dhamma, dwell comfortably here and now.”

海纳百川   有容乃大

壁立千仞   无欲则刚

“Now suppose that there was a leper covered with sores & infections, devoured by worms, picking the scabs off the openings of his wounds with his nails, cauterizing his body over a pit of glowing embers. The more he cauterized his body over the pit of glowing embers, the more disgusting, foul-smelling, & putrid the openings of his wounds would become, and yet he would feel a modicum of enjoyment & satisfaction because of the itchiness of his wounds. In the same way, beings not free from passion for sensual pleasures — devoured by sensual craving, burning with sensual fever — indulge in sensual pleasures. The more they indulge in sensual pleasures, the more their sensual craving increases and the more they burn with sensual fever, and yet they feel a modicum of enjoyment & satisfaction dependent on the five strings of sensuality.” – Magandiya Sutta: To Magandiya

“In the same way, Magandiya, sensual pleasures in the past were painful to the touch, very hot & scorching; sensual pleasures in the future will be painful to the touch, very hot & scorching; sensual pleasures at present are painful to the touch, very hot & scorching; but when beings are not free from passion for sensual pleasures — devoured by sensual craving, burning with sensual fever — their faculties are impaired, which is why, even though sensual pleasures are actually painful to the touch, they have the skewed perception of ‘pleasant.’”

Most people are like the leper who fail to see the suffering behind the crave for sensual pleasure. Some are like drug addicts who crave for more drugs although they know the addiction is bad; although they wish to quit but they just cannot control themselves. The more and the longer they indulge, they will find it more difficult to quit. Hence, the Right View about the Four Noble Truths is very important. Meditation alone cannot cure the leper without the Dharma.

Craving comes naturally to us when we are born. Because of that, people think it is commonsense to use materialistic or non-materialistic things (wealth, sexual acts, fame, delicious foods, leisure) to quench the thirst. People think it is commonsense to use water to put out fire without knowing that it is more important to remove the fuel and also the spark. Keeping the fuel in a cool state (Nirvana) is the best solution, although the water can temporarily put out the fire. Because of craving, life is indeed a suffering; we are suffering like the leper, but we may feel pleasant if we are fortunate to have access to “glowing embers” that can make us feel a modicum of enjoyment & satisfaction because of the “itchiness of our wounds”. The suffering may be manageable if we use the Right Efforts to control the craving (and other hindrances) and the Right mindfulness to lead us to the One-pointed-ness concentration on Samadhi or deep peace of mind. It is a personal choice if one chooses to become a Sotāpanna, Sakadāgāmi, Anāgāmi, or Arahant. Suffering is not always unbearable. Suffering is not absolutely bad; it at least reminds us to walk the path towards Enlightenment. It is a better gift to be born as a human than a deva or dewi who has no suffering therefore ignorant of the need to walk the Noble Eight-fold Path. It is obviously better than to be born as a ghost or an animal, or to be born in Hell. Is death really the end of one’s journey? Nobody is certain, but what if it is not? Walking the Noble Eight-fold Path can definitely reduce one’s craving and give him/her true happiness (or absence of “itchiness”) here and now; the gain is here and now regardless of any bonuses in the afterlife (if it exists).

There are three types of cravings: craving for sensual pleasure, craving for existence, and craving for non-existence. One will suffer if he/she crave for long life. One will also suffer if he/she wishes never to have been born into this world. Don’t run away from the minor suffering and don’t escalate it into an unmanageable monster. Personal goal, ranging from trivial to meaningful? Not good but not bad. Like any sensual pleasure, don’t be fearful of it but always remember not to become attach to it (as if you can’t live without it); the “hammer” isn’t grow on your hand, so you must let go when you should. Look inwards and watch your feelings all the time; if you feel greed, hatred, or delusion, you must practice the Right Efforts to develop the wisdom on what course of actions to be taken in order to deescalate the ill feelings. Personal goal to develop your mind, in Sciences and Arts, not just in Spirituality, will be helpful in the path to happiness. Without intelligent, a fool can never understand the Dharma even if he/she grows up in a monastery or surrounded by Enlightened monks and tons of Sutras. Life is a suffering, it is due to desires, and cessation of desires will end all sufferings here and now. The Buddha has taught us an actionable way which is the Noble Eight-fold Path and it can be practiced by everybody.

There were many ideas of Confucius on morality and human characters. I will write only a few here, starting from the core one and then the extension of it.
The core idea has only one word: 恕. Of course, you must understand there is no one-to-one translation from Chinese to English for this word (so is the word Dao 道). It is difficult to completely express a noble idea with words; so, it is better to leave it in a concise form; we call it 言简意赅 (concise word carries deep meanings), or “书不尽言，言不尽意” (books cannot completely include all the words one wishes to say, and all the words one says cannot completely express the noble idea in his mind), and let the learners feel it with their hearts and experience it themselves. The word 恕 is constructed from the words “如心”, meaning “as close as what you think in your heart”. In other words, it means “honestly expressing yourself”. However, it doesn’t end there. For example, what kind of “self” do you want to express and be seen by others? Do you want to be seen as someone with a lot of greed (or craving for sensual pleasure), hatred (or intolerant to many kinds of imperfections in yourself and others), and delusion (or craving for mental pleasure to see things happen according to what you wish them to be)? Do you want to be seen as someone who is worry, stupid (or has a lot of doubts about life), and fearful? Do you want to be seen as someone who is arrogant, has a lot of ego, unforgiving, untrustworthy, lazy, and selfish? If you don’t like to have any of these characteristics, do you pretend to be warmhearted, non-violent, caring, respectful, frugal, and not competing with others, which mean you don’t “express yourself honestly”? If you really think deeply into this one word 恕, you will fully understand 識 and feel the complete meaning (and not just knowing it 知). You will experience the happiness of “honestly expressing yourself”, not having to pretend, and reap the fruit or self-interest of being morally upright and having good human characters. You will voluntarily cultivate morality because it is for your own happiness. Any other benefits, to yourself and others, are bonuses. With a pure heart, you will see clearly what kind of human characters that you want to cultivate within yourself, because those are also the kind of human characters which you want to see in your friends or true-men/women 真人 you want to associate with.
子贡问曰：“有一言而可以终身行之者乎?”子曰：“其恕乎!己所不欲，勿施于人。”——《论语·卫灵公》 A disciple, Zi Cong, asked: “Is there a word that one can follow or practice for his whole life?” Confucius answered: “It is the word 恕! To make sure you don’t misunderstand it, you can think of it as “don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.” No one want to live with suffering every day (worry, fear, anxious, depression, angry, sad, etc.). Everyone wants to be happy. Whatever we really want or crave to do is what we believe will bring us happiness; although most of the time it only brings more suffering. You want to be “successful” because you believe it will bring you happiness, but the journey as well as the destination only bring you more suffering and further increase your greed, hatred, and delusion. You should instead cultivate yourself 修身 to be a happy person, benefit your family 齐家 and society 治国, and bring peace to the world 平天下 (at least not giving trouble to the world). If you disagree with this wisdom, it only means you cannot blame others for attacking you or giving you troubles; you can only blame yourself for being weak or not competitive and you are a Capitalist who believe in survival of the fittest. Confucius did not say “do unto others what you want others to do unto you.” What you want may not be what another person wants. Not everyone wants to be rich, have extramarital affair, become famous, eat luxurious food every day, and leisure of not doing anything good for the society. You must never impose your ideology (like “Democracy”, “human rights”, “freedom”, “political correctness”, “morality”, “human characters”, etc.) on others. 子贡曰：“如有博施于民而能济众，何如？可谓仁乎？”子曰：“何事于仁，必也圣乎！尧舜其犹病诸！夫仁者，己欲立而立人，己欲达而达人。能近取譬，可谓仁之方也已。”（《论语·雍也》）Zi Cong asked: “If a person can bring widespread benefits to the people and eradicate poverty or other troubles of the people, how is that? Does it fit the definition of the word 仁?” Confucius answered: “It is much more than 仁. He can be considered a Sage! The ancient great kings of 尧 and 舜 were always feeling unsatisfied for not being able to do more to benefit the people and eradicate poverty. As a truly compassionate person who fit the word 仁, he who wishes to be self-reliant 自足 will also help others to be self-reliant; he who wishes to be benevolent will also help others to be benevolent. Nobody says it is easy to achieve 仁. If you can compare your achievement with the people around you in terms of morality and characters, henceforth improve yourself and help others fulfill their self-development goal of becoming benevolent, you can say it is the path to attaining the character which fit the word 仁.” Wealth and fame are never the objects to pursue; these are useless things like the cloud. 子曰：“饭疏食饮水，曲肱而枕之，乐亦在其中矣。不义而富且贵，于我如浮云。” Confucius trained his disciples to become government ministers or officers for the purpose of benefiting the people and eradicate poverty, never for any personal gain in terms of wealth or fame.
恕 is often understood as forgive 饶恕 or pardon 宽恕. Try to use your heart to empathize or understand another person the fact that nobody wishes to make mistake for the fun of it, unless he is a tyrant. To err is human, to forgive divine. Forgive another person when he/she make a mistake, even if it is done intentionally, if he/she really feels sorry for what is done; so long as he/she is not a tyrant or habitual offender. Tolerance is the power to forgive (恕). If the schools and parents are powerless to forgive, how can they expect the children to have tolerance? One day, Confucius told his disciple, Zeng Shen: “Shen, my philosophies can all be related by one fundamental principle.” Zeng Shen replied: “Understood.” After Confucius left, the other disciples asked Zeng Shen: “What is the meaning?” Zeng Shen said: “The philosophies of our teacher can all be related to Honesty and Forgiveness.” (子曰： “参乎，吾道一以贯之。” 曾子曰： “唯。” 子出，门人问曰： “何谓也？” 曾子曰： “夫子之道，忠恕而已矣。”) Honesty (忠) means truly coming from the heart (忠于事，忠于言，忠于人，忠于己). Loyalty is an act of dishonesty if it doesn’t come from the heart; although some people like it that way regardless. When you are honest, to yourself and to others, everything you said comes from your heart. Nothing is artificial or pretentious, although you may not be right all the time. You will be honest to the king as much as being honest to the people. You will be honest in doing your job, and never make any promise that you don’t intend to keep. You will be honest to yourself, be who you are and not pretend to be someone you are not. If your heart is full of the capacity to forgive, you will be able to tolerate differences and not insist on conformance, although you like people to show good manners.
Another day, Confucius told another disciple, Zi Gong: “Do you think I am someone who learns a lot and becomes knowledgeable by memorizing everything that I’ve learnt?” Zi Gong replied: “I think so. Isn’t it true?” Confucius said: “Not really. I have one fundamental principle to relate and bind together all my knowledge.” (子曰： “赐也，女以予为多学而识之者与？” 对曰： “然，非与？” 曰： “非也！予一以贯之。”) Anything that has nothing to do with Honesty and Forgiveness isn’t Confucianism even if Confucians (or Neo-Confucianism) say it is. You don’t have to become knowledgeable by memorizing a lot of things that you’ve learnt. You just need to let Honesty and Forgiveness guide you in your words and actions, and in making decisions to move or to stop (言行举止). Confucius said: “Compassion includes being respectful, forgiving, truthful, hardworking, and benevolent. Being respectful to everybody will avoid being humiliated. Being forgiving will be loved by everybody. Being truthful will be trusted by everybody. Being hardworking will bring success. Being benevolent (i.e. showing the people how they can benefit themselves by following certain techniques or methods) will be able to influence others to work for common good.” (恭、宽、信、敏、惠。恭则不侮，宽则得众，信则人任焉，敏则有功，惠则足以使人。)
When Confucius was the Justice Minister of Lu state, a father lodged a complaint that his son had no filial piety (孝). Confucius arrested the son, but did not make any judgment or hand out any sentence for three months. In the end, the father decided to retract the complaint, and Confucius freed the son. A minister was unhappy with the way Confucius handled the case. He said: “Confucius lied to me. He told me that filial piety is the most important fundamental principle in governing a country. Now, there is a case where he can kill one person in order to set an example which will deter other people from being rebellious to their parents. Instead of showing justice is served, he frees the offender.” When Confucius heard that, he said: “When the forefathers made a law, they would clearly explain the objectives of the law, and they abided by the law themselves. If some people break the law, the leaders would praise the rest of the people who follow the law, so that all the people would slowly be influenced to follow the law. If some people still break the law, the leaders would remove the unimportant parts of the law so that it became simplified for easy implementation. After using this practice for a few years, the people would accept and abide by the law. If a few individuals still break the law, then the punishment can be handed out. Everybody would then know why the offenders were punished.” Not educating the people but punish them when they break the law; this is an act of punishing innocent people (不教其民，而听其狱，杀不辜也。). The people are innocent if they don’t know anything about the law. The law has deterrence power but you can choose not to use them to scare the people; you can choose not to execute the punishment (i.e. catch the offenders, educate them, and then release them) (威厉而不试，刑错而不用). Honesty (忠) and Forgiveness (恕) are more fundamental than filial piety (孝); without which filial piety is faked. Law and benevolence (in term of forgiveness) are like the two wings of a bird; both must work together to bring effective results. Some people refer to these as carrot and cane. The cane is mainly used to scare the children; you don’t have to actually whip them. It would be even better if you don’t even scare them with the cane; so that they do goods not due to fear of punishment. It is best to teach them to love each other than to punish them when they break a rule innocently. Children are usually innocent, not tainted by adult’s false definitions of right and wrong. They act naturally without thinking too much; they don’t always know how to relate what they do and the rules set by adults. Even adults have difficulty relating what they do and the puzzling laws of the government. The real Confucianism emphasizes teaching the people to have honesty and forgiveness, and teaching the people to have good manners, using leadership by example, is far better than making laws and punishing the offenders (德礼优于政刑，德礼为主、政刑为辅).
What happens today is much deviated from the forefathers’ way. The education system confuses the people (i.e. teaching the children to be intolerant of differences, to have a strong selfish desire for money aka success, to the negation of everything else), and the government makes so many complex laws, making the people so bewilder and unable to follow. The government then punishes the people. That is why the law enforcements are intensified but the offences are still overwhelming. (今之世则不然，乱其教，繁其刑，其民迷惑而堕焉。则从而制之，是以刑弥繁而邪不胜。)
A system which emphasizes rule-of-law (法家) and justice (义) basically focuses on hate rather than love. It advocates hatred toward people who break the law, instead of forgiving or giving the offenders a chance to repent. The use of force by the government or the schools is a form of violence. The system advocates the use of violence against “violence”. An eye for an eye only ends up making the world blind. A three-foot ridge is not tall but steep; therefore, even an empty cart cannot cross over. A fully loaded cart can easily climb up a hundred-foot hill because the slope is gradual. (三尺之岸而虚车不能登也，百仞之山任负车登焉，何则？陵迟故也。) It is a steep order for expecting the children to comply with all kinds of silly rules within a short period of time without proper education. Confucius taught his disciples to handle hostility with a diplomatic manner (以直报怨) to get their message across, using reasons and compassion to convince people to change without damaging the relationship. Lao Zi taught us to handle hostility with love and kindness (以德报怨). Treat kindness with kindness too. There is no need to show different faces to kind friends and hostile people, because being kind is not about trying to get people to reciprocate; it is about self-conservation, of being who you are, a giant human with giant capacity (大人大量) to forgive. It is probably more effective than diplomatic manner in influencing hostile people to become more polite and friendly.
If someone is too sensitive and easily offended and, without second thought, he would use personal force or the government law to hammer obedience into anyone who offended him, it would reflect badly on the level of civilization. Truly civilized people (华夏) despise the use of violence, either at the personal level or the government level. Only barbarians (夷狄) like to use violence. Someone from a civilized nation but exhibit barbaric behaviors should be treated as a barbarian (夷狄而华夏者 则华夏之 华夏而夷狄者 则夷狄之).
Confucius said: “A person who looks serious and fierce outside, but actually feels fearful inside, is like a little man. Isn’t he similar to a thief who breaks the wall, careful but feeling afraid of getting caught?” (色厉而内荏，譬诸小人，其犹穿窬之盗也与？) “A real gentleman always looks enthusiastic (fun, friendly, sociable and emotionally expressive). A little man always looks worry and angry.” (君子坦荡荡, 小人长戚戚。) A big man has a big capacity to tolerate differences (大人有大量); a little man only wants everybody to tolerate him, or respect his sensitivity and never enrage him. A big man will give way (谦让) to others; a little man only wants everybody to give way to him. You don’t have to be rich to be a big man. In fact, rich people are often little men; they always want something from everybody instead of giving and forgiving. People who cannot give way to others often have a lot of fear; the fear comes from desires in that they are GREEDY (贪) to get something, or HATE (嗔) to see/experience something, or having delusion (痴) about something (such as seeing certain exotic hobbies as highly desirable and other things as inauspicious), therefore fear of losing things like face, fame, money, time, energy, beautiful things, delicious foods/drinks, or lavish lifestyle.
Confucius knew the negative side of promoting compassion 仁. He said: “I have never seen a person who really likes compassion but hates people who are lack of compassion. A person who really likes compassion sees it as an extremely precious/rare thing and high standard which is very hard to achieve; therefore, not expecting many people to be able to achieve it. For a person who hates lack of compassion, his show of compassion is merely to prevent himself from being grouped among the people who are lack of compassion. Will he ever use all his energy to practice being compassion?” (我未見好仁者，惡不仁者。好仁者，無以尚之；惡不仁者，其為仁矣，不使不仁者加乎其身。有能一日用其力於仁矣乎？) If compassion is easy for everyone to achieve, it will cease to be a precious thing.
子曰：“君子道者三，我无能焉：仁者不忧，知者不惑，勇者不惧。”子贡曰：“夫子自道也。” Confucius said: “A true gentleman has three characteristics, but I have none of them: truly compassionate makes him has no worry, truly understand the Dao or truth of life makes him has no doubt, truly courageous makes him has no fear.” Zi Cong said: “My great teacher. You are really describing who you really are.” Be a happy person first; have no worry, no doubt about life, and no fear. Being benevolent to others or doing good karma will make you happier (giving alms is always better than receiving) and bring good fruits to you, contributing to making you a true-man/woman.

If one has never experienced suffering from the day he was born, he may never understand what suffering is; therefore, he may never understand the Four Noble Truths of the Buddha, and never achieve Enlightenment in his lifetime.

Everything has its beneficial side and harmful side. Everything is impermanent. Beneficial is not always or continuously beneficial; harmful is not always or continuously harmful. I don’t think anybody in his right mind enjoys living with suffering. We must graduate from suffering and become a happy (i.e. free of suffering) person, able to be happy under any circumstances. We need effort to walk from where we are to the intended destination; but we don’t need anymore effort once we reach the destination. We need suffering to make us want to swim through the sea of suffering to the island of perpetual happiness, and we will never need suffering anymore. Don’t be afraid of suffering, don’t seek for suffering (like the Ascetics do), but have the Right View and Right Effort to cease all suffering. It is all in the mind. If we choose to perceive something as suffering, then we will suffer. If we choose not to perceive it as suffering, although our six senses do feel something, then we will not hate what the signals from the six senses tell us. Everybody dislikes having bodily pain, but dislike is not equal to hate. Learn to avoid getting injured, learn to heal injury, but don’t hate getting injured.

Table of Content: HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK

Everything is emptiness. Whatever we feel with our five senses and whatever we think are not real.

Fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) are created by ourselves. We created them because we thought we need them, as tools which we can use. We thought that fear is an integral part of our natural defense system. Fear makes us avoid getting into dangerous situation. The truth is, it is intelligence which we need. The feeling of fear is not really necessary. In whatever we do, it is best that we do it because we want to and not because we have to. Fear must never play a part in our decision making. Do you follow the laws because you have to? If that is your character, you are not a leader; you are like a thief who dare not steal only because there is a CCTV around.

We thought that obligation or responsibility is a driving force to make us work or provide for our family so that we will not live in hunger and we are loved by family members. The truth is, we can decide to do things out of love and expect nothing in return. The feeling of stress and anxiety because of the self-imposed obligation or sense of responsibility are not really necessary. You don’t have to do anything for anybody or yourself if you don’t want to. There is no such thing as obligation; it is just a delusion. If you can only work when there is someone or something to drive you, beating you with a whip, under stress and anxiety, you are no different from a donkey.

Love and attachment are really two different things. Love say: “I love you therefore I want you to be happy. I am happy to be included in your happiness, but it is fine if I am not part of it. I just want you to be happy. There is nothing I want from you.” Attachment say: “I want you to make me happy therefore I love you. I don’t want to lose you because the supplier of my happiness will be gone. You are my asset, and no one should ever take you away from me. I also want you to be happy, but that is secondary to me.” If you need someone or something to supply a sense of well-being to you, then you are not independent. You are virtually tied down to Earthy things and you cannot fly or levitate yourself. The thought of there are someone or something which you can’t let go can weight you down; the unskillful thought itself is heavy enough, leave alone people and things that you can’t let go. The thoughts of right and wrong are similarly heavy.

We thought that aversion of guilt will prevent us from doing morally wrong things. We thought that guilty feeling after something bad has happened or has been done will make us correct ourselves, for our own good in the future. Like in The Matrix, whatever happens is already pre-programmed well before we make a decision; how we make a decision is also pre-programmed in advanced but we thought we make that decision on our own independently without undue influence. The truth is, whatever happens cannot happens if it is not meant to happen, whether we believe or not in the omnipotent god (or The Matrix). We can blame god for making it happens, or we can choose to see reality as it is rather than what we ignorantly wish it to be or not to be. Let it go, the past is in the past, nothing can change what has happened. The future is not here yet, so whatever we hope to happen or not is not real. We should just live in the present moment. Be wise in whatever we do now, but don’t regret for what we did in good faith. Akusala karma or unskillful actions will naturally lead to unfavorable outcomes. We can control our action, although we cannot control the outcomes.

It is true that fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) can be useful tools, but you must control them rather than let them control you. Some evil people may use FOG to control other people. That means, if you have FOG or have no control over your FOG, evil people can make you feel fear in order to coerce you into doing something that you don’t want but made to think that you have to, otherwise bad things will happen to you or your love ones. If you have no attachment, there is nothing which you can’t let go, including your body, you will have no fear whenever you wish not to have it. However, you don’t have to fear the fear itself because fear can be a useful tool; you can choose to use fear to your own advantage, like giving yourself a boost of energy (like what Darth Vader did). The same is true for obligation and guilt. Some evil people may make you think you are responsible to do something and you must do it; or make you feel guilty for something you did or neglected to do, therefore make extortion out of you. However, you don’t have to avert obligation and guilt because they can be useful tools; you can choose to use them to your own advantage.

Having no FOG does not mean you are an evil person. In fact, you can never have no FOG if you are an evil person who has craving, aversion and delusion. Craving leads to greed, aversion leads to hatred, and delusion leads to ignorance. Darth Vader and Lord Sidious have a lot of FOG; and they derive more power from FOG to defeat the Order of the Jedi and create the Empire. Only an Enlightened person can truly have no FOG. But Luke Skywalker may need some FOG to defeat the Empire.

The Ancient One used her manipulated power from the Dark Dimension to trap the Zealots in the Mirror.

You have to understand that most people are not ready to be unplugged from The Matrix. And many of them are so inert, so hopelessly dependent on the system that they will fight to protect it. Fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG) are needed for laws to work. CCTV are needed to strike fear into the heart of thieves. Most donkey are not ready to walk on the path towards awakening. They need FOG to give themselves the much needed energy that they are deprived of, like a crutch for a physically impaired person to walk. Don’t take the crutch away from them until they can walk on their own.

I am not even a Jedi yet. But I believe I am the one with the Force and the Force is with me. Be cheerful. Be happy every second of the day and under any circumstances.

Table of Content: HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK

Some people get into the darkest hours of their lives because of religion.

Most people fear of death. However, it is not “death” which they are really afraid of. They are probably fearing the suffering of pre- or post-death experience of themselves or their love ones. They fear losing their bodies or their love ones. If they have always lived in the present moment and never thought about the future, like babies do, they will not feel fear. They feel fear about the future because they are “educated” to think forwards. They feel more fear when religion makes them think that death is not the end; there are “lives” after death and they need to do certain things in order to secure their future in another world. Religion is defined as “the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power, especially a personal God or gods.” Atheism is not disbelief in religion or gods; it is simply lack of belief in religion or gods, like you are not sure whether gods do exist or not. You choose to trust nobody, not the one who say gods do exist or the one who say gods doesn’t exist. An Atheist simply don’t care and lives in the present moment; he/she simply face whatever happens the next second whether he/she likes it or not. After all, there is no proof that believing or disbelieving will change anything. No experiment can be conducted to show repeatable results. A wise person will never trust a salesman, although he would make purchase when the need arises.

Have you ever had a dream, that you seemed so sure it was real? But if you were unable to wake up from that dream, how would you tell the difference between the dream world and the real world? Zhuang Zi had a dream. He became a butterfly, flapping his wings and fly happily. He totally forgot that he was Zhuang Zi. He felt so real that he was a butterfly. After a while, he suddenly recalled there was a human named Zhuang Zi. He thought: “Whatever happened to Zhuang Zi? Am I not really a butterfly but a dreamy object of Zhuang Zi? Or Zhuang Zi was a dreamy object in my dream?” We feel we are real; we are so sure that we are alive in a physical world. But maybe we are just virtual characters in the dream of “ourselves” in another dimension. Everything we have (success, wealth, fame, relationship) are virtual; no matter how tight we grip it, all will be gone when we wake up. We felt so strongly that we know what is right and what is wrong, we are so serious with our lives; we make plans for our children thinking that those are perfect plans, and we expect to achieve certain goals. But in the end, we are wrong. Everything was just a dream. You are empty, so am I. Life is a dream, but most people only know it is dream when they wake up. Don’t take life so seriously. Don’t be a perfectionist. Have fun, enjoy your time in the dream, and go on an adventure. Don’t worry; when you get out of the dream; you become the real you again. The real you could be nothing or something. But, what difference does it make? You can’t change the real you from the dream. Even if you can do something, how do you or anybody knows what kind of change is perfect? You may as well relax and enjoy the ride.

I don’t know whether I am real or just a dreamy object. But I can choose to think that I am just a dreamy object and everything is not real. I make that choice because that makes me happier. Do I think forwards? Sure, I do. If I choose to believe that my plan will work, I will carry on with the plan. Whatever suggestion given to me serves as a guide but never a gospel. Not only you and me are empty, rules are empty too. I believe I can sometime change my dream (I think therefore I am) although I can’t always get what I want. It doesn’t matter to me; I don’t take it seriously, although I am meticulous in its execution, for the fun of it. I choose to feel fun doing it. Something will change, while certain things never change. Some rules work most of the time, while certain rules may still work once a while although the probability is close to zero. Should I make a bet? It is a choice; no good or bad, or there is good in bad and bad in good. Since nothing is real, I can’t really lose anything when nothing really belong to me. Darkest hours? Not belong to me, too.

Table of Content: HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK

The first episode of The Matrix movie series is a good one to watch. It will help you to understand the concept of “no self”. It is not necessarily the same concept as the one taught by the Buddha. Nevertheless, understanding the concept of “no self” will help you to achieve Nirvana, the state of no suffering. If you have no self, where is the “self” to bear the suffering? Everything that we experience with our eyes, ears, noses, skin, tongues, and mental perceptions are illusions, although these feel so real. It feels real because our minds make it so. If you have total control of your mind, you can become whatever you think you are and able to do whatever you think you can do. Your mind is controlled by you; your mind is not the real you. Who are you actually?

I am not sure whether anybody ever achieve the freedom from the self, or the true awakening to the reality of “no self”. I don’t know anyone who have total control of his mind and able to become whoever and whatever he think. Regardless of whether you believe in the concept or not, it can be applied for your benefit. I am a Professor in Electrical and Electronic Engineering. I know many scientific theories are not true; they are just ways to explain certain physical phenomena, although they can be scientifically proven and repeatable experiments can be conducted. The controlled experiments only proves that a cause leads to an effect. What or who makes it that way cannot be explained. We just say that is how the Nature works. Why gravity only pull two objects towards each other instead of repelling each other? There are many crazy concepts in Quantum Mechanics. They don’t truly represent what actually happen, but that doesn’t mean they are not useful in predicting the effect of a cause. What is not right doesn’t mean it is not useful. What we think is right doesn’t mean it is always useful.

Back to the concept of “no self”. If you choose to regards everything as illusions or mind manifestations, the whole world is not real, the sufferings are not real, you can self-hypnotize to feel nothing. Everything which impacts your body or your mind perceptions (or feelings) does not really affect the real “you”. “You” are nothing. The whole world is like a vehicle; “you” are not hurt when the vehicle breaks down. Because “you” are nothing, no “dirt” or anything else can attach to you. If you have no attachment to the vehicle, letting go of it is not even a question of whether you can or cannot let it go. You have nothing, so you can’t have anything to lose. The vehicle is not you, and it doesn’t really belong to you, it doesn’t really exist (it is just an illusion). Why should you feel anything when something happens to the vehicle? Why should you dance to the music? If your “heart” moves with the changes in the outside world, you can potentially be manipulated. If your “heart” doesn’t move, you will have no greed or craving, therefore you will never commit a crime. If your emotion is not stirred by right and wrong, you will have no feeling (no ecstasy and no sadness) therefore no suffering when something happens to your body or someone else. There is no good and there is no bad. There is no clinging to anyone and there is no hatred against anyone. There is no aversion to anything. You don’t expect anything must happen or mustn’t happen, therefore no ignorance or delusion.

Ecstasy is the extreme of happiness. A simple happiness is simply no suffering. When you have no self, you will simply be happy perpetually.

Causes and their effects are natural phenomena. Although everything is an illusion, there are unknown rules which govern how it works (like computer programs). Nobody can change the natural rules. While we are having the illusions, we must play by the rules. Trying to cheat will just invoke a different set of rules. Don’t try to be clever, but be wise. Flow with the river. The supposedly sad incidents are useful for one to know what happiness is. It is part of the journey of life without which one may never achieve the state of Nirvana. When you reach the island of perpetual happiness, you will naturally stop feeling sad because there is no such thing as supposedly sad incident. Akusala karma or unwholesome actions will naturally lead to negative results. The opposites of those or kusala karma will naturally lead to positive results. Don’t just follow the Five Precepts (no killing, no stealing, no self-indulgent in sensual pleasure, no intoxication, and no unhelpful speech/lie), but do the opposite. Save lives, enrich others or make donations, and help others to find the path to happiness. Love everyone and hate no one. The kusala karma will naturally bring you closer to the island of perpetual happiness. It is for your self-interest; the “self” of nothingness. No fear, obligation, and guilt.

Table of Content: HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK

There are always beautiful and ugly sides in everything, depending on your ability or preoccupation to appreciate the art. Some people think a particular painting is beautiful, while some others think it is ugly. In other words, the painting is not absolutely beautiful or ugly; otherwise, there wouldn’t be disagreement. The painting is neither beautiful nor ugly. It is our heart which is restless and desires to see reality as being divided. A real truth is one which everybody agrees. Nobody disagrees about the nature of the Sun and the Moon. Nobody disagrees that love binds the people together. The problem is some people choose to divide love for all mankind into separate classes for different races or tribes; more love for my tribe and less love for other tribe. The tribe mentality is really an outdated primitive thinking. Nevertheless, there are beautiful and ugly sides in tribe mentality as well, depending on how you wish to look at it.
Affirmative action is a race-based policy. It selectively help one race at the expense of another race. It positively discriminates or advantages one race and negatively discriminates or disadvantages another race. Affirmative action is implemented in the US and China to help the minority races; whereas it is implemented in Malaysia to help the majority race. Nevertheless, there are beautiful and ugly sides to both the positively and negatively discriminated groups. In the US, some American Africans are lifted from poverty and many hold high positions in the government (including President of the US) and corporate world. On the other hand, the positive discrimination also indirectly discourages many others to work hard and they eventually become complacent or lazy. The perks and special quotas make them less competitive. Some people believe that the affirmative action is a policy make by the White to permanently cement the Black in the lower class of the society. Officially, the Black are positively discriminated; but unofficially, they are negatively discriminated because both White and Black bosses will see them as inferior to others who do not receive the perks. The self-confidence of the Black is also adversely affected; they themselves will subconsciously feel inferior to others. What else can you expect? Between the person who give alms and one who receive the alms, who is more prestigious? It is a natural law of cause and effect that the Black are negatively discriminated in the work places. Since the affirmative action is funded by the majority group to help the minority group, each member of the majority group only contributes a negligible amount to the funding. Similarly, the disadvantages to the majority group are not greatly felt. When the affirmative action is funded by the minority group to help the majority group, the burden on the minority group will be enormously heavy. The disadvantages to the minority group are greatly felt, especially to the poor people within the minority group. Nevertheless, there are beautiful and ugly sides to the minority group which is negatively discriminated.
Common people can only feel happy when they gain from receiving benefits. Enlighten individuals feel happy when they have the capacity and capability to give benefits to poor people who need helps. It is a prestige. The problem with affirmative action is it does not educate the recipients to become Enlighten individuals. Instead, it brainwash them to feel grateful and therefore loyal to the State which robs Peter to pay Paul. The State gains the political benefits, at the expense of the financiers. The State only emphasizes “gratefulness” and “loyalty” instead of “scolding” and pushing the recipients to become self-reliant and wean off the “marijuana”. The State indirectly makes the recipients permanently reliant on the State. I don’t see this as benevolence. Real benevolence is a policy which is geared towards making the recipients self-reliant eventually and never again need any help from anyone including the State. Education in terms of ethics is the key; skill training is secondary although it is also important. Without the ethics of being respectful, forgiving, trustworthy, hardworking, and helpful to others, a genius will be useless because no one wants to work with him and he cannot work together with anyone.
As a person who receive the benefits, you get the euphoric effect of the “marijuana”. Those who wean off the dependency will become successful. These are the people who really get the good effect of the affirmative action. Those who develop substance abuse and become addicted will get the bad effect of the affirmative action. In your assessment, is there more people who get the good effect than those who get the bad effect? Honestly, the lives of the poor people are greatly improved by the affirmative action. The wealth gap is under control. Inequality did not worsen to the extent of causing class warfare and social chaos. However, the addicted lot are also trapped to permanently being cemented in the lower class of the society.
As the people who are disadvantaged by the affirmative action, you don’t get the “marijuana”. That may be good for you. Pain is certain, but suffering is optional. Although you live through the pain, you may not feel suffer in terms of sadness or anger if you use your mind to self-hypnotize and overcome the pain. Pain which doesn’t kill you will make you stronger. Some people succeeded due to good education in terms of ethics. Many are overwhelmed by the pain and cannot rise in the social ladder. A little bit of “marijuana” would have helped them greatly to suppress the pain and give them the time needed to heal themselves.
Some people advocates a need-based rather than race-based affirmative action. The good and bad effects will be the same. However, I think it is needed. Wrong thing is not always bad. Right thing is not always good. Right is wrong if it causes chaos. Wrong is right if it creates harmony. On the other hand, education to emphasize good ethics of being respectful, forgiving, trustworthy, hardworking, and helpful to others, is paramount. It must not be just some texts for memorization and regurgitation in the examination, but actually bring about permanent changes in behaviors — that is the true meaning of education. The State must not ask for gratitude but educate the people to become self-reliant and feel ashamed to forever expect to receive social welfare or food stamps. Only when the people are empowered to be self-reliant that a nation can become strong. Strong leader alone is inconsequential; because the nation must be built by the people, for the people. The nation will then truly be a land of the people where everybody feels a sense of ownership and not just a sense of belonging.