Buddha said: “Just as a stick from a funeral pyre, burning at both ends and smeared with dung in the middle, can serve no useful purpose as fuel in the village or as timber in the forest – using such a simile do I speak of the person who is concerned neither with his own good nor the good of others. The person who is concerned with the good of others but not his own is more excellent and higher than this. The person who is concerned with his own good but not the good of others is more excellent and higher still. And he who is concerned with both his own good and the good of others – he is of the four persons the chief, the best, the topmost, the highest, the supreme.” A person who is not concerned with his own good is either the worst or second worst of the four types of persons. He cannot be trusted even if he is only concerned with the good of others; because he is either pretending to be selfless or he is insane (due to years of brainwashing by religious doctrines). A person who pretends to be selfless is more dangerous than a person who is concerned only with his own good; because there is evil selfishness hiding behind the fake selflessness. A person who is concerned only with his own good doesn’t deserve to have a good friend; he only deserves to have a friend similar to himself who is not concerned with the good of others. In the end, he may have to live alone in isolation.
There were many well-known scholars in Chinese history who seem to be concerned only with the good of others (伯夷, 叔齐, 霍光, 王莽). However, their real intention was to fish for honorable names or fame (沽名钓誉). Some managed to earn the honorable names after they die; some managed to earn the fame as well as political power to rule the country and also to gain personal pleasures. Bo Yi (伯夷) and Shu Qi (叔齐) were the advisers of the King of Zhou State. They tried to stop the King from overthrowing the throne of the evil Emperor and dismantling the Shang Dynasty. They opined that a subordinate must never be disloyal to the superior. The King of Zhou didn’t listen to their opinion. After the victory, Bo Yi and Shu Qi refused to eat anything from the land of the newly formed Zhou Dynasty. They chose to starve to death and become famous for being “loyal”. Huo Guang (霍光) was well-known to be morally upright to the extreme and never made a mistake in following public and private rules. He was entrusted by Emperor Wu of Han Dynasty to protect and assist the 8-year-old heir. The new Emperor died at 21 years old. A grandson of Emperor Wu took the throne. Soon, Huo Guang deposed him, in the name of “the good of the state”. He then installed his choice of Emperor, married his daughter to the Emperor and made her the Empress. He autocratically controlled the government and appointed many relatives as government officers. Wang Mang (王莽) was well-known to be humble, respectful, prudent, forgiving and compassionate when he was the Prime Minister of Han Dynasty. He made his daughter the Empress, poisoned his son-in-law Emperor, and installed his 2-year-old grandson as the new Emperor. Finally, he forced his grandson to pass the throne to him and founded the Xin Dynasty.
Guan Zhong (管仲) was the Prime Minister of the State of Qi. When he was terminally ill, the King of Qi asked him: “Is there any last word that you want to counsel me?” Guan Zhong said: “I hope you don’t trust Yi Ya, Shu Diao and Kai Fang.” The King said: “Yi Ya cooked his own child to satisfy my desire to taste a child’s meat. Shu Diao castrated himself to become a eunuch in order to stay close to me. Kai Fang is so loyal to me that he didn’t go home to see his parents for fifteen years. Why should I be suspicious of them?” Guan Zhong said: “Those are the reasons which make them suspicious. Killing his own child, castrating himself, and forgetting his parents are some of the cruelest things. With such cruelties, how can they be loyal to the King? They cannot be trusted.” The King nodded but didn’t listen to the advice after Guan Zhong died. When the King was critically ill a few years later, the three “loyal servants” each supported a prince to take over the throne. The country was thrown into chaos in the civil war. The King was locked in a palace alone and prohibited from making any kind of contact with anybody. He was finally starved to death. His corpse was left to rot in the palace for sixty over days. The foul smell was so strong; flies filled the whole palace; and maggots crawled out to the street.
Gong Sun Hong (公孙弘) was the Prime Minister of Emperor Wu in Han Dynasty. He was frugal with his private life. His colleague, Ji An (汲黯), complained to the Emperor that the frugal lifestyle of Gong Sun Hong was simply to fish for honorable names. The Emperor asked Gong Sun Hong: “Is there any truth in Ji An’s complaint?” Gong Sun Hong said: “His complaint is true. Ji An is my friend and he knows me well enough. His action of publicly criticizing me really pointed out my flaw. My income is among the highest, but my frugal lifestyle is similar to common low-income people. My action is no doubt trying to fish for honorable names. If Ji An is not a loyal servant, the Emperor may not hear the honest criticism and truth about me.” After the incident, the Emperor viewed Gong Sun Hong as a truly honest person and trusted him even more. A truly honest person need not argue with anybody about his lifestyle. He might not be thinking to fish for honorable names, but his action did have the same effect. Arguing whether he did or didn’t think about the effect would only make him seemed dishonest. Conversely, by not arguing, he showed that he was honest because he was not trying to hide anything. He was happy with his lifestyle, regardless of the outcome and how other people perceived his intention. He was satisfied to know that he was being honest to himself. There was no need to sweet-talk other people into believing him as an honest person. An honest person convinces other people with his deeds, not with his words. Confucius said: “Don’t worry about being misunderstood by other people; instead, worry about misunderstanding other people.” (不患人之不己知，患不知人也。)
RESILIENT KID 