Table of Content: How to Raise a Resilient Kid
Meng Zi (孟子) said: “The people should be considered as the utmost importance. The country comes second; and the king is the least important.” (民为贵，社稷次之，君为轻。) You should work for the interest of the people (workers and customers) first; then the organization, but never specifically for the interest of the boss. When the people are happy, the organization will benefit; and the boss will get his profit. Conversely, maximizing the boss’s profit will jeopardize the interests of the organization and the people.
Confucius told the king of Lu state: “If the king treats the people with respect, the people will work with the king with honesty and loyalty.” (君使臣以禮，臣事君以忠。) The higher is your position, the more you need to show respect, forgiveness, trustworthy, hardworking, and benevolent (恭、宽、信、敏、惠) to the people, so that the people will work with you with honesty and loyalty.
Meng Zi told the king of Qi state: “If the king treats the people like his arms and legs, the people will love him like their stomachs and hearts. If the king treats the people like dogs and horses, the people will treat him like an ordinary person. If the king steps on the people like soil and grass, the people will see the king like an enemy.” (君之视臣如手足，则臣视君如腹心；君之视臣如犬马，则臣视君如国人；君之视臣如土芥，则臣视君如寇仇。) Love the people the same way you love your arms and legs. Is it good or bad to have a non-democratic government (but meritocratic) which behaves like a parent who loves us? Is it better to have a democratic government which is dysfunctional? Is it better to have a Libertarian government (laissez-faire, nonintervention, anarchy) which doesn’t care about the success or failure of the people?
The shadow of a person was unhappy that it is not free to decide when to walk and when to stop; when to sit and when to stand. Anyway, it said to itself: “What to do? I rely on the person. The person relies on something else. A snake relies on scales to slither. A cicada relies on wings to fly. When they are dead, the scales cannot slither and the wings cannot fly by themselves. One cannot be totally free if he relies on something.” When you rely on someone, that someone probably also relies on you. Both are not free. To be free, you must have no reliant. Your mind is who you actually are. Your mind relies on your body to live, but your body will not be able to move without your mind. But your mind never thinks of relying on your body. That is the meaning of natural relationship. Don’t think of relying on the people and don’t think of not relying on the people, because you and the people are one combined entity; i.e. the greater-self. You will never be totally free, but you can be mentally free if you don’t think about relying on anyone or anything to live. Love everyone around you, because they are parts of your greater-self.
Learn to become independent. You must know how to lead yourself first, to live as a free individual who rely on no one, before you can lead others. Love your arms and legs, and make them strong, instead of fat. A great leader loves the people as himself, therefore he lead the people to become independent and leaders in their own rights. A self-serving leader does not deserve to be a leader and will not be loved by the people. That means not loving the people is akin to not loving himself.
A wild chicken may have difficulty to find foods from time to time. It may only find a worm in ten feet, and find a little bit of water in a hundred feet. However, it still prefers not to be locked in a cage in which it will have no worry about foods but it will lose the freedom of wandering in the wild. It is not difficult to have financial freedom if you don’t have much desire. Financial freedom does not necessarily mean you need to have a lot of saving. You can be free when you don’t have to rely on anyone. If you wish to be looked after by someone or the government, you will have to live in a “cage” with no freedom. In return, someone or the government gets the POWER to control your life, including putting you in a cage, mentally and physically. Telling the people to rely on the leader is akin to imprisoning the people.
The duck has short legs, but you can’t lengthen them without making it suffers. The crane has long neck, but you can’t shorten it without causing it pain. What is naturally long needs no cutting off. What is naturally short needs no stretching. You don’t have to feel despair for your short or long; both short and long can be useful. Useless in one way can be useful in another way; it is a matter of using your intelligence to make good use of everything. Similarly, the short and long of other people are none of your business; let the Nature takes its own course. Do you think you know what is best? Do you think the world should conform to your way of thinking? Having the “just cause” doesn’t give you the rights or responsibility to impose your morality or value system on the people. It only destroys the credibility of the “good intentions” because of the inherent desire to change reality into what you want to see. Acts of kindness can only be voluntary, in giving and receiving, without coercion. There may be a lot that need fixing but there is nothing out there for you to fix. Everyone should fix his own problems; of course, he can get some helps if he wants to.
RESILIENT KID 