Table of Content:HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK
The concept of proton and electron is an example of Yin and Yang. You mustn’t say which is good and which is bad. You mustn’t like one and hate the other. Both must exist in balance. Too much proton may be bad; the same goes for the case of electron.
Yin and Yang are not real things. You may say Yin represents electron and Yang represents proton, but it is just one way of representation. Yin and Yang may also represent other conceptual “things” which are opposing yet complementary. It is used in Chinese healthcare, social relationships, military strategy, and other aspects of life. Nobody claims it is a science; therefore it doesn’t need any proof. It is just a “tool” to help us visualize certain theory; like the way we visualize electric flux coming out of proton and going into electron, or we visualize magnetic flux coming out of North pole and going into South pole of a magnet. In reality, the flux doesn’t exist; it is just a way of visualization to ease theoretical analysis. All theories that can be described with words are not right; but they are not wrong, and they are not useless. Able to prove it in experiment setting doesn’t necessarily mean it is right. Electromagnetic Theory is not right because there are physical phenomena where it fails to explain, therefore Quantum Mechanics or General Theory of Relativity have to be applied accordingly. Yet, it doesn’t mean Quantum Mechanics or General Theory of Relativity is right; they are just not wrong. “Wrong” thing can be useful.
In conclusion, the concept of Yin and Yang is philosophically useful. Everything is about balancing, yet everything is not right, including this generalization. Contradiction doesn’t have to be view as a problem.
自性能含万法是大，万法在诸人性中。若见一切人恶之与善，尽皆不取不舍，亦不染著，心如虚空名之为大，故约‘摩诃’。
Zen Buddhism believes that everybody has the same capacity to become a Buddha. That capacity may have been masked off by all kinds of greed, hatred, and delusion in the case of the common people (前念迷，即凡夫). Only the enlightened few unmask the Buddha capacity/nature (佛性) and become Buddha themselves (后念悟，即佛). The Buddha capacity is so big that it can accommodate all the different ways and thoughts created by different individuals. When one with the truly big accommodative capacity see any “bad” and “good” behaviors of all common people, he will not favor or disfavor them, and his emotion will not be affected. His heart is like the empty space of the Universe which can accommodate everything.
无常者，即佛性也；有常者，即一切善恶诸法分别心也。
In the Buddha’s heart, there are no permanent generalizations of good and bad. The existence of generalizations is due to judgmental behaviors of common people to make false definitions of good and bad. There is actually no problem for “good” and “bad” to coexist. Contradiction is not a problem if the heart is accommodative like the Universe.
There is a story about a man selling a spear and a shield by the roadside. He tells the crowd that his spear is the sharpest in the world that it can penetrate any shield. He then tells the crowd that his shield is the hardest in the world that no weapon can penetrate it. This prompted a spectator to ask: “If you use your spear to stab your shield, what would happen?” Of course, either the spear is really the sharpest or the shield is really the hardest. There seems to be a contradiction here. However, why do we have to make the two fight out just for the sack of proving who will win? What good does it make? Why can’t we keep both the spear and the shield as they are instead of destroying one of them? Similarly, why do we have to debate or argue about who is right? Is the “truth” really needed? Is the “truth” always the truth? Right is only right at the specific time, space and circumstance. Right is wrong if it causes chaos. Wrong is right if it creates harmony.
Contradiction is not necessarily a problem. When you enter a sport competition, of course you want to win. But you can at the same time don’t want to win. This can probably increase your chance to win. If you want to win the game so much, you may become anxious and nervous. You may fear making mistake, therefore become too careful that you dare not express yourself honestly and completely; unlike what you did during training. If you at the same time convince yourself that you don’t care if you lose the game, you may probably do better.
When you love someone, you can at the same time don’t love him/her. You can express your love for him/her, but at the same time convince yourself that you don’t care if you lose him/her. You can then express yourself honestly and completely. That someone you love can be yourself. You can love your body, live your life to the fullest possible, and take care of your health physically and mentally. But you can at the same time convince yourself that you don’t care if you die tomorrow. Learn as if you are going to live forever; live as if you are going to die tomorrow. Be happy every single second.
If you want to become enlightened, but at the same time you convince yourself that you don’t care if you don’t succeed, you may increase your chance of success. Forget about becoming a Bodhisattva; be one.
须菩提，于意云何？阿罗汉能作是念，我得阿罗汉果否？须菩提言，否也，世尊。何以故？实无有法名阿罗汉，世尊，若阿罗汉作是念，我得阿罗汉道，即为着我、人、众生、寿者。
If you are still asking whether you have become an Arahant, that means you are yet to become an Arahant . If you think you have become an Arahant, that means you are yet to become an Arahant, because you still have Earthly desire to become something. A true Arahant will have long forgotten about his desire to become an Arahant, and live as an Arahant. Everything that has a beginning will have an ending. Only nothingness has no beginning and no ending.
RESILIENT KID 