Unforgivable Sin

Table of Content: HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK

Be forgiving is the core of Confucianism. A disciple, Zi Gong, asked: “Is there one word to guide a person in everything he does in his whole life?” Confucius replied: “Forgive! Don’t do unto others what you don’t want others to do unto you.” 论语˙卫灵公：“子贡问曰：‘有一言而可以终身行之者乎？’子曰：‘其恕乎！己所不欲，勿施于人。’ Everybody makes mistakes. Forgive others since you don’t want others to be unforgiving toward you. However, being forgiven doesn’t mean not making compensation or not paying the price for your mistake, or not getting the punishment from the laws. It means your sincere apology is accepted and you are ready to repent (by going to jail without hesitation, for example). Similarly, forgiving someone means you are no longer angry at him. You accept the fact that he has gotten what he deserves. You stop punishing yourself with any fire of anger in your heart. Forgive others for your own happiness, because you deserve it; regardless of whether that someone who offended you deserves your forgiveness. In the original Confucianism of Confucius, no sin is unforgivable. Anybody who committed a sin will get his punishment from the Heaven (or Natural Laws) eventually, in one way or another, even if the policemen fail to catch him. Let the Heaven (or Natural Laws) does its job; don’t take the Laws into your own hands and try to punish someone on behalf of the Heaven (or Natural Laws). Let the judge does the judging, and the Court does the sentencing. Don’t feel unhappy for the “lack” of punishment; it is just your opinion which may not necessarily be the truth. Insisting on death penalty only cause more suffering to the victims in the sense that they feel no closure and no blissfulness forever for their lost. Being calculative instead of having contentment is the cause of all suffering.
One day, Confucius told his disciple, Zeng Shen: “Shen, my philosophies can all be related by one fundamental principle.” Zeng Shen replied: “Understood.” After Confucius left, the other disciples asked Zeng Shen: “What is the meaning?” Zeng Shen said: “The philosophies of our teacher can all be related to Honesty and Forgiveness.” (子曰： “参乎，吾道一以贯之。” 曾子曰： “唯。” 子出，门人问曰： “何谓也？” 曾子曰： “夫子之道，忠恕而已矣。”) Honesty (忠) means truly coming from the heart (忠于事，忠于言，忠于人，忠于己). Loyalty is an act of dishonesty if it doesn’t come from the heart; although some people like it that way regardless. When you are honest, to yourself and to others, everything you said comes from your heart. Nothing is artificial or pretentious, although you may not be right all the time. You will be honest to the king as much as being honest to the people. You will be honest in doing your job, and never make any promise that you don’t intend to keep. You will be honest to yourself, be who you are and not pretend to be someone you are not. If your heart is full of the capacity to forgive, you will be able to tolerate differences and not insist on conformance, although you like people to show good manners.
Unconditional love is the core of Daoism. Lao Zi said: “There are three important principles that I uphold with determination: the first is unconditional love for others; the second is thrifty, emotionally and financially; the third is dare not compete to become a world leader. One who has unconditional love will be able to be courageous. One who is thrifty will be able to reach out more widely. One who dares not compete to become a world leader will be able to lead the accomplishment of various tasks. If we abandon unconditional love but only behave courageously; abandon thrifty but still try to reach out widely; abandon compromise and stay behind but be the first to start a fight; we will face great danger. A leader with unconditional love for his people will be able to win when he goes to a war; have a sturdy defense against aggressors when he set up a defensive wall. When the Heaven/Nature wants to fortify something, it will use unconditional love to sustain it.” (我恒有三宝，持而保之：一曰慈，二曰俭，三曰不敢为天下先。慈故能勇，俭故能广， 不敢为天下先，故能成事长。今舍其慈，且勇；舍其俭，且广；舍其后，且先；则必死矣。夫慈，以战则胜，以守则固。天将健之，如以慈垣之。) In the original Daoism of Lao Zi, no sin is unforgivable. Instead, everybody and everything is lovable. However, that doesn’t mean you don’t defend yourself and your love ones. Defeating the enemy is never about anger or unforgiving feeling; it must be out of love for your family. You can win a hundred battles with hatred, but you can never win a war without love, including love for the soldiers of the enemy.
Lao Zi said: “The net of the Heaven/Nature is extraordinarily wide; there are many loopholes but it never fails to capture anything.” (天网恢恢 疏而不失) Love and forgiveness are the greatest self-interest. Anybody who has no love and no forgiveness will only burn himself. It is the Laws of Heaven/Nature. Only foolish people think that the almighty God need helps from human to protect the religion by defining what sins are unforgivable and punishing people who committed the crimes against the almighty God.
Lao Zi said: “Repay betrayal or hatred with benevolence.” (报怨以德) Lao Zi, an Atheist, seems more lovely than many unforgiving Theists.