Would you consider having the ability to feel happy under any circumstances as an achievement of good life? If you do, here is my answer: Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to Can we be happy even if everything seems to be terrible? Does happiness depend of the external circumstances?
Have you ever felt guilty when you were accused of doing something wrong, or not doing something you are expected to do? Have you ever felt obligated to do something when you were told you have a duty to do it? Have you ever felt fear of losing something or someone when you were threatened with such plausibility? Do you like feeling stressed and anxious when you desire to get something you like, or to lose something you dislike? Do you like the angry feeling when something bad happens, or something good didn’t happen according to what you wish? Do you like the sad feeling of losing a loved one, or being betrayed by a friend? Do you like the disappointment feeling of failure? Will you feel devastated if you or your loved ones are dying? These are all mental suffering or Duhkha. Are you sure you have the mental strength to get back up and continue to live happily after a devastating experience?
If you have good health in terms of mind and body, you already have everything that you need in life. If you have all the things in this world but not happiness and good health, nothing is useful to you. It is obvious that the paramount and original purpose of education is for the students’ wellbeing in terms of mind and body; everything else is secondary (such as ethics, moral, cognitive skills, interpersonal skills, social unity, job readiness, etc.). You must first know how to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. When you are strong, mentally and physically, you will then have the capacity to love your neighbors. You become one with abundant to give; rather than a poor guy who needs someone to supply love and compassion to you.
I have written a blog to teach everybody the ancient wisdom on how to live our lives to the fullest. Here it is: “HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK” Table-of-Content. To do that, we must be ready to unlearn some common dogmas and relearn some uncommon ideas. If you aren’t ready to hear an idea — no matter if it’s legitimate or urgent — then it won’t matter. You will reject it, miscategorize it, or mock a caricature of it. A strong grip on common knowledge (执于法) will not take you very far. You will be as common as any common people.
Everybody thinks he is right (执于我). People think you are wrong when you are different, or you have a different view from them. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. The truth is: nobody is right, so it is OK that you are not right, so long as you are not wrong. Don’t be afraid to be not right. In fact, you shouldn’t desire to be right; you shouldn’t think like the fools and fanatics. Avoid self-righteous so that you keep your brain half-empty and ready to absorb new ideas. The sea can become big because it stays low and accepts the discharges from all rivers. Be like the sea, have the stomach to accept new ideas (both the not-right and not-wrong ones), and have the stomach to forgive and accept the fools and fanatics (海纳百川 有容乃大). The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. Continue to improve your intelligence (睿智), learn to think critically (i.e. not blind acceptance of any teaching), and widen your knowledge on all subjects (聪明). These are essential to gain the ultimate wisdom of life (道). Having no zeal to discriminate right and wrong, you will be able to apply the appropriate not-right or not-wrong idea according to the conditions (缘起) which are arising.
The weakest part of your body is your heart. It can be hurt by words into your ears and images into your eyes. To become resilient, you must strengthen your heart more than anything else. To be as strong and equanimous as the cliff of one thousand foots, you must minimize your desires (壁立千仞 无欲则刚) so that you are unmoved by blames nor praises. The ultimate wisdom of life is about you and you alone. You are the most important one to yourself, the one who deserves your love the most. If you have a high level of desires (欲), you will need a lot of tangible and intangible things to fill that gap between what you need and what you want. Conversely, if you feel happy because you know you already have everything that you need (i.e. contentment with a healthy body and mind), you will be able to live your life to the fullest, and you will look steady and respectable (like the cliff). But it takes high intelligence to minimize desires and resist temptations because we are not talking about the common types of desires. You need to resist the temptations of achieving “success” for yourself and your loved ones, of having a strong grip on your life and the lives of others, of doing your “duty” to change Nature according to your wishes, of blaming yourself for any “imperfections”. When you gain the ultimate wisdom of life, your heart will be shielded with “golden bell” (金钟罩) and “iron cloth” (铁布纱). You will be resilient.
RESILIENT KID 