The true Dao can never be fully understood, leave alone describing it (道可道也 非恒道也). Similarly, it is not possible to define or describe how a human being lives a good life according to Daoist principles. I can only list a few basic principles.
Daoist philosophy is all about being in harmony 顺应 with Nature 自然. The Nature here includes all beings, humans, Earth, Heaven (time and space above Earth), Dao (the hidden force dictating the working of everything in the Universe) (道大 天大 地大人亦大 国中有四大 而人居其一焉 人法地 地法天 天法道 道法自然). It is about adapting to Nature, which may vary with time and space. It is about being like water: soft, loving, flexible, and adaptive as opposed to hard-headed, violent, rigid, and refusing to change one’s personal views and habits. Adapting means a Daoist is always satisfied with reality (good or bad according to common people), see reality as it is and accept the reality instead of wishing reality to be what he wishes to see, no suffering of fear, anger, hatred, anxiety, depression, grief, lamentation, and despair. A good life is one with perpetuate inner peace, unmoved by whatever happens in the outer world. A good life is lived when one is happy all the time (逍遥自在). Nature 自然 simply means “the way it is”, not dictated by anyone and unexplainable or need no explanation (不以人的意志为转移). Feeling unhappy about anything is simply foolish because no amount of guilt or remorse can change the past, and no amount of anxiety or worries can guarantee a future which one wishes to see. We can only live happily in the present moment, do what has to be done (to make us happy and our neighbors happy). If we die the next moment, we have done what has to be done, whether we complete the task or not (明道如费 进道如退 夷道如类 上德如谷 大白如辱 广德如不足 建德如偷 质真如渝 大方无隅 大器免成 大音希声 大象无形 道褒无名 夫唯道 善始且善成). I have no self; therefore, nothing can hurt me and I have no fear of anything (何谓贵大患若身 吾所以有大患者 为吾有身 及吾无身 有何患).
Accept Imperfections of You and Me
Be Happy and Accommodative
Let Go of Past Things and Events
Don’t Worry About the Future
Have no Craving and no Aversion
Therefore no Delusion of
What should or shouldn’t Happens
It sounds so “Buddhism”. In fact, some people speculated that Lao Zi went to Nepal and was a teacher of Gotama Buddha. Of course, there is no historical proof. The Truths do not belong to anyone. The Truths are Dao, which is everywhere, waiting for people in any part of the world to discover it spontaneously. The Truths or Dao is the same everywhere, yet it is different at one time and space compared to another. We perceive it as different simply because we are in touch with only one part of the Elephant.
Daoist principles on how human beings live a good life are recorded in Dao De Jing and the many parables written by Zhuang Zi. Current practices of Daoists have mostly deviated from the original teaching.
Be flexible like water instead of being imprisoned by dogmatic ideologies. Love everybody unconditionally 慈 like our children; minimize desire and waste 俭 so that we save up resources to share with more people; don’t compete 让 for personal benefits but let others get what they need. Don’t hate ugly things and don’t love beautiful things because all manmade definitions are false. Don’t be busy body 无为; help others only if they really need your help. Forgive others; help someone even if he is unfriendly to you 以德报怨. Keep learning every day but reduce reliance on knowledge 为学日益 为道日损 损之又损 以至于无为; digest the knowledge into an integral part of the mind 无为而无不为, like the way we walk without having to think about the ABC of walking. Follow the heart but harmonize with Nature; adapting to the up and down of Nature.
RIGHT AND WRONG 是和非
举世而誉之而不加劝，举世而非之而不加沮，定乎内外之分，辩乎荣辱之境，斯已矣。
If we don’t have the desire to seek acceptance from anybody about who we really are, what we believe in, what we say and do, we will not be bothered to do more when the whole world praises us; we will not feel disappointed when the whole world disagrees with us. Our self-worth need not depend on how other people think of us. Human distinctions of honors and disgraces are false; none of these external things are important for our happiness.
NAME AND NAMELESS 有和无
无用之用，方为大用。
We don’t really know everything if we know the use of usefulness but not the use of uselessness; if we know the use of knowing but not the use of not knowing. Human definitions of useful and useless are false. At different times and spaces, useful can become useless, and useless can become useful, to ourselves or to others. Learn everything (学); then, break frees from all indoctrinations and become independent thinker (立); use one fundamental principle to bind together all the knowledge so that we are not confused by the wide differences (不惑); have no fear, obligation, and guilt (知天命); we will then be able to listen to different opinions (耳顺); and become totally free (从心所欲).
HONORS AND DISGRACES 荣和辱
宠为上，辱为下；得之若惊，失之若惊，是谓宠辱若惊。
Human distinctions of honors and disgraces are false. Competing to get honors and worrying about losing them are as bad to our mental health as being afraid of getting humiliated and becoming a prisoner of dogmas. Nobody can hurt us without our permission; we give them permission when we choose to let our inner peace be disturbed by praises or condemnations.
UNION AND SEPARATION 离和合
君子之交淡若水，小人之交甘若醴；君子淡以亲，小人甘以绝。彼无故以合者，则无故以离。
The relationship of gentlemen is as plain as water; the relationship of little-men is as sweet as wine. A gentleman is lukewarm but pure in his feelings; a little-man is warm-hearted due to a hidden agenda and will break up a relationship easily when there is nothing else to gain. For all relationships which are formed spontaneously without any reason, let them all end spontaneously without any reason. All emotional attachments are not real things; it exists only in our minds. Don’t crave for a relationship. Don’t mourn for the departure of anyone.
SUCCESS AND FAILURE 成和败
知穷之有命，知通之有时，临大难而不惧者，圣人之勇也。不知命，无以为君子也。
Knowing the going of life naturally has ups and downs; therefore, not afraid to face disastrous moments in life, such is the courage of the Sages. Success and failure depend on Dao, time, space, and people. A person who doesn’t understand this can never become a gentleman who doesn’t blame Heaven or other people.
LIFE AND DEATH 生和死
适来，夫子时也；适去，夫子顺也。安时而处顺，哀乐不能入也，古者谓是帝之悬解。
Our great teacher came into this world spontaneously at the right time, and leaves this world spontaneously and peacefully as a necessary natural sequence of events. Accept the Natural Laws, be content with the ways things are and how things change, come as we are and go as we should, then our hearts will not be troubled by what common people consider sadness or joy. This is what our ancestors called the great relief from all punishments of being hanged upside-down.
Many children have lost the ability to be cheerful due to the “education” they received from the schools and the society. They are easily enraged by the “wrong doings” of classmates because of the doctrines of what is right and what is wrong that they cannot change. They have so much intolerance and are “allergic” to many people and many things. They are easily sad when they fail to meet their “responsibility” to please the parents, family members, friends, classmates, the schools, and the society. They are afraid to be happy, because they are ashamed to show crazy happy emotions; they are so serious and so worried about their image and what other people think. They mourn for the past, worry about the future, and anticipate troubles. They have a lot of fears, obligations, and guilt (F.O.G.). They have so much desire for success, wealth, fame, external beauty, relationship, delicious food and perfect health, so much so that their incomes always lag behind their appetites, so they are always not satisfied with their lives. They have lost the natural contentment and birthright happiness.
Compassion and righteousness are beautiful things for a person to have because these values can bring happiness to the person. An angry person cannot at the same time be happy. However, compassion and righteousness become ugly when people are demanded to show these values; the person who stands on “moral high-ground” will be unhappy and ugly (for not showing compassion and forgiveness), and the person who is scolded will be unhappy and ugly (for showing sour face). We must accept the fact that different cultures have different doctrines about what compassion and righteousness mean. What we consider right is the result of mental preconditioning, and other people with different mental preconditioning may consider it to be wrong. If everybody chooses to abandon the desire to be right and the desire for other people to be right, he will not be troubled by criticisms and he will show more humility towards other people. Everybody will be happy and also not make other people unhappy.
RESILIENT KID 