Chung Boon Kuan (born November 22, 1967) is a professor at Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman, Malaysia. He holds an electrical engineering degree and a PhD specializes in Electromagnetic Theory and Applications. He has a passion in Chinese philosophies which include the works of Lao Zi, Zhuang Zi, Confucius, Sun Zi, etc.; and Chinese history from 1000 B.C. to the 20th century; the world history; and economics. He has read many books related to these topics for more than 20 years. He likes to think of himself as a global citizen more than a Malaysian. He wants a better world. He believes the world will be better if politicians stop assuming they are clever enough to meddle around in the lives of the people and the world for good reasons.
The Four Noble Truths are the Buddhist principles that I agree with the most. Life of ordinary being has a lot of suffering. All sufferings are due to desire and attachment. A being will stop suffering when desire ceases. The path leading to cessation of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path.
Happiness is like the tail of a dog. It’s always there, it was there, and it will still be there tomorrow. If the dog starts chasing it, it will feel suffering for failing to catch its own tail. Conversely, if it accepts the reality that it already has the tail, and lets it be instead of trying to chase it, the dog will not experience suffering unnecessarily.
We desire for many things: sensual pleasure, existence, and non-existence. We thought that we will only be happy when our desires are fulfilled. We set difficult targets for ourselves, causing unnecessary stress to us. But we whip ourselves, striving, motivating ourselves that “happiness” is hiding behind those targets which we created in the first place. We consciously ignored the true happiness in front of us but chased the false “happiness”. The dog’s behavior is not really admirable.
There are eight types of winds which can possibly move us out of equanimity: winds of gain and loss, fame and disrepute, praise and blame, pleasure and pain. We want to gain and are afraid of loss; want fame and afraid of disrepute; want praise and afraid of blame; want pleasure and afraid of pain. If we learn to concentrate our attention on inner peace and equanimity, be like the rock which is unmoved by the winds, we will stay happy here and now, and into the future.
Revulsion of everything in the outer world is often seen as a negative view. However, the Buddha taught us to develop revulsion of everything in the out world but with the Right View or in a positive light. The Fourth Noble Truth prescribes the path leading to cessation of suffering, which is called the Noble Eightfold Path: Right View, Right Thoughts, Right Actions, Right Speech, Right Livelihood, Right Efforts, Right Mindfulness, and Right Concentration. As one can see, it is unlike the pessimism of Asceticism, which involves negation of all views, actions, speeches, livelihood, efforts, mindfulness, and concentration. When we do things the right way, we will be happy instead of suffering. Revulsion of the eight winds means not chasing the dung-like happiness and not fearing whatever things which are commonly seen negatively. When we do it right, we will profit (gain, fame, praise, pleasure) even though we didn’t chase or strive for it. On the other hand, we are not adversely affected even though others misunderstood us (causing loss, disrepute, blame, pain). The heart remains unmoved.
In Buddhism, is it true that one can cultivate wisdom only if one is able to comprehend the truth of emptiness? I don’t think the Buddha ever said that; it is not found in the pre-sectarian Suttas (Pre-sectarian Buddhism – Wikipedia). While emptiness is one of the many important concepts of original Buddhism, it is not correct to say that it is the single most important concept to comprehend in order for one to cultivate wisdom. It could probably be considered “laziness” if one choose to practice only one Buddhism concept but neglect all the others. It is also a “laziness” to pick one Sutta (but neglect all the others) and claim that one already mastered Buddhism completely, which indirectly means all other words of the Buddha are redundant.
There are 37 requisites of enlightenment or bodhipakkhiya dhamma (Thirty-Seven Requisites of Enlightenment: Bodhipakkhiya dhamma in Theravada Buddhism). In many of the discourses, Buddha has referred to the significance of developing these 37 requisites to developing one’s mind and to attain liberation. They are the four foundations of mindfulness, the four right efforts, the four constituents of psychic power, the five faculties, the five powers, the seven factors of enlightenment, and the Noble Eight-fold Path.
What is Buddhist wisdom? First of all, wisdom is not a thing which can be deterministically defined or identified. One can say “this is a car” and “that is not a car”; but no one can say “this is wisdom” and “that is not wisdom”. Buddhist wisdom (panna) is related to intelligence but not the same thing. It is not about intelligence which is useful to change the environment or external world in order to gain material benefits; it is not like STEM subjects. As far as Science is concerned, “Buddhist wisdom” may be considered “useless”; no one should pretend religious teaching or philosophical thoughts can somehow explain scientific phenomena. Referencing religious texts to claim that “the Earth is flat”, “the Sun orbits the Earth”, “God created the Universe”, etc. are not clever but deserve to be censured by the wise. Buddhist wisdom is “intelligence” which is useful to change oneself or one’s inner world for his own happiness and equanimity without the needs of cooperation from the outer world. This “useless” intelligence probably won’t give material benefits to others; but it is immensely “useful” to oneself. What is more useful to oneself than personal happiness? What is more useful than happiness from the absence of striving for happiness? Conversely, what is the use of striving to create a mountain of gold just to make oneself climb over it to find happiness?
“Whosoever cannot obtain at will, easily and without difficulty; this happiness of renunciation, this happiness of seclusion, this happiness of calm and this happiness of enlightenment, which I can obtain at will, easily and without difficulty; let him enjoy that dung-like happiness, that sluggish happiness, that happiness gotten of gains, favors and flattery.” – Anguttara Nikaya 5.30.
“Monks, I know not of any other single thing that brings such woe as the mind that is untamed, uncontrolled, unguarded and unrestrained. Such a mind indeed brings great woe.”
“Monks, I know not of any other single thing that brings such bliss as the mind that is tamed, controlled, guarded and restrained. Such a mind indeed brings great bliss.” – Anguttara Nikaya 1.31–40.
There are varying levels of Buddhist wisdom. Very few have zero wisdom, and very few have very high levels of wisdom. Fundamentally, Buddhist wisdom is about understanding of the suffering of life, cause of suffering, cessation of suffering, and the path leading to the cessation of suffering. It is called the Four Noble Truths. Although everybody can understand the letters, not everybody can fully understand the meaning and spirit. In other words, different levels of wisdom mean different levels of personal and direct knowledge of the Four Noble Truths. The wisdom here is about “purification of beings, for overcoming sorrow and lamentation, for the cessation of physical and mental pain, for attainment of the Noble Paths, and for the realization of Nibbana.” – Digha Nikaya 22. An Arahant is a monk who is liberated by mind and wisdom, i.e. he has attained the final goal of Buddhism. He has no more fear, anger, grief, lamentation, despair, pain, or any form of suffering. He has perfect Buddhist wisdom. If a person still has any of the above suffering, can he be considered as a wise person who has perfect wisdom? From this, everyone can see clearly what Buddhist wisdom really is.
“Now, I tell you, these five things are not to be obtained by reason of prayers or wishes. If they were to be obtained by reason of prayers or wishes, who here would lack them? It’s not fitting for the disciple of the noble ones who desires (long life, beauty, happiness, status, rebirth in heaven) to pray for it or to delight in doing so. Instead, the disciple of the noble ones who desires (long life, beauty, happiness, status, rebirth in heaven) should follow the path of practice leading to (long life, beauty, happiness, status, rebirth in heaven). In so doing, he will attain (long life, beauty, happiness, status, rebirth in heaven), either human or divine.” – Anguttara Nikaya 5.43.
Śūnyatā (in Sanskrit) or suññatā (in Pali) is most often translated as emptiness. It doesn’t mean “all things are empty of intrinsic existence and nature”, as if all things are just mirages or illusions. Nevertheless, it may be a “useful” way of thinking to help lead to a sense of disenchantment with these “makings,” thus helping to abandon any clinging associated with them.
“It is said that the world is empty, the world is empty, lord. In what respect is it said that the world is empty?” The Buddha replied: “Insofar as it is empty of a self or of anything pertaining to a self: Thus it is said, Ananda, that the world is empty. And what is empty of a self or of anything pertaining to a self? The eye is empty of a self or of anything pertaining to a self. Forms… Eye-consciousness… Eye-contact is empty of a self or of anything pertaining to a self.” – Suñña Sutta, Samyutta Nikaya 35.85. The world is not really empty; it is simply empty of a self. The eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind are not really the self because one does not cease to exist when he loses any of these organs. Similarly, the Five Aggregates of Clinging are not the real self. The arising and passing away of stresses in these elements create a false sense of a “self”. Everything arises due to conditions and passes away when the conditions change; there is nothing to do with a “self” nor wishes of someone. When one no longer latches onto any idea of “my self,” one sees phenomena within and without simply as examples of stress arising and passing away, he will develop a sense of disenchantment with everything in the world, thus abandoning any clinging associated with them. He will have no wish to gain nor fear of losing, wish for fame nor fear of disgrace, wish for praise nor fear of blame, wish for success nor fear of failure, wish for pleasure nor fear of pain, wish for association nor fear of separation, etc.
Other Suttas related to suññatā can be found in Cula-suññata Sutta (MN121), Maha-suññata Sutta (MN122), and Maha-nidana Sutta (DN15).
People often associate seeing emptiness of the world with pessimism. The truth is, this way of thinking is just their misunderstanding, consciously or unconsciously. Some people choose to see emptiness only after they experience grief and despair due to various reasons such as facing ageing, sickness or death, association with the disliked, separation from beloved one, or not getting what they want. In other words, they feel that their lives are meaningless. Then, they decide to become monks or nuns. This is not the Right View which the Buddha taught us.
Seeing the emptiness of the world is supposed to be a positive view if one has the Right View. Developing a sense of disenchantment with everything in the world, thus abandoning any clinging associated with them, leads to liberation and freedom. The body is not the self, and the self is not inside the body. Thus, the body and everything tangible/intangible associated with this body and name cease to be burdens of the real self, i.e. these things are all dispensable or can be let go. Knowing one has nothing to lose means knowing one can never lose, i.e. undefeatable 立于不败之地. He will have no fear of doing anything 无不为. Knowing one has nothing to gain means one will have no greed (because the empty self cannot take whatever gain in this lifetime or into the next) 无为. He will do things for the benefits of manifold selflessly but not with excessive ambition. 是以圣人居无为之事，行不言之教，万物作而弗始也，为而弗志也，成功而弗居也。夫唯弗居，是以弗去。
From the Five Nikayas (which recorded the words of the Buddha), we find that the Buddha praised noble warriors, warrior elephants, and thoroughbred horses in a few suttas. One of the famous lay disciples was General Siha.
The Buddha also had a few lay devotees who were kings of various states. Not all Buddhists are monks; in fact, the majority are lay followers. There are no rules which prohibit monks to practice martial arts, although the Buddha also didn’t encourage monks to practice it. For lay followers, there is in essence no prohibition at all. The Five Precepts of no killing, no stealing, no sexual misconduct, no intoxication, no wrong speech (such as lying, malicious or divisive speech, coarse words, idle gossip) are prescribed for Buddhists to practice and cultivate their virtue, for the benefits of themselves. Lay Buddhists who break the precepts are not expelled from the religion; in fact, there is no authority which has any power to regulate the moral conducts of lay followers. Monks who break serious monastic rules may be expelled from a Sangha but they can still be lay Buddhists. In fact, anybody can declare himself/herself as a Buddhist without any formal ritual or ceremony. “All Beings are owners of their Karma. Whatever volitional actions they do, good or evil, of those they shall become the heir.” Unwholesome karma or immoral action from breaking the precepts may result in unwholesome fruition. However, one may do more wholesome karma or moral action through charitable deeds (in terms of material, words, or physical work) and self-cultivation (in terms of virtue, equanimity and wisdom through abandonment of greed, hatred and delusion) to “dilute” the effects of prior unwholesome karma. Loving kindness, compassion and forgiveness, pleasant abiding, and equanimity are the Four Brahmavihara encouraged by the Buddha.
The Buddha encouraged wholesome deeds which benefit oneself and others. Protecting and defending oneself and the people against external aggression is a wholesome deed. Lay Buddhists should be encouraged to practice martial arts. Monks can opt to learn martial arts too. To cross the flood of suffering, Buddhists are taught to contemplate suffering, impermanence, and non-self; the three marks of existence. An Arahant is an Enlightened monk who has no self; therefore, he will have no fear of losing anything, including his body. It is a gradual process of cultivation. A monk must not desire for sensual pleasure, existence, as well as non-existence. He must walk the middle path, not longing for life but also not longing for death. He must look after his body so that he has the energy and time to cultivate himself in terms of virtue, equanimity and wisdom in order to attain Nibbana or Enlightenment. Practicing martial arts for self defense may be necessary in certain living environments, especially where there are wild animals or barbaric humans. Defending other people from danger is also a good way to practice loving kindness and compassion. It doesn’t have to involve killing of living beings, although it may sometimes be unavoidable. Doing wholesome karma or moral action may reduce the effects of unwholesome karma. If a monk could not attain Arahanthood in this life due to his karma, he can continue his self-cultivation in the next life. Upon his death, he will be an adult again after 18 years. 十八年后又是一条好汉。
I have a lot of capacity to love. I want to love anyone who deserves it. I don’t need to be loved by others, but I definitely wouldn’t reject the love from my loved ones. Loving others is so beautiful and pleasing to me. It’s more beautiful and pleasing than being loved. This is of course difficult to do for those who are yet to build up their capacity to love.
The greatest love of all is loving oneself. I love myself so much and now I have so much loving capacity that I want to give it to others. It’s like the feeling of being rich that I want to make donations to those who need it (but not those who just want it due to greed). When you are “rich”, you can feel the happiness of giving. When you are “poor”, you can only feel happy when you receive alms from others, like a beggar.
How do I love myself? I have learnt the skill to stay happy and equanimous under any circumstances. This skill requires me to see no self, i.e. selfless. This kind of selflessness is the greatest selfishness, because it makes oneself have no suffering but happiness and equanimity. This is the greatest self interest of all. When you stop seeing the body as the self, stop thinking the self is inside the body, you will have no more fear, obligations and guilt (FOG). The body is just an avatar remotely controlled by the real self. It’s like a vehicle that you drive; whatever happens to the vehicle doesn’t have to cause suffering to you, unless you allow it.
When you have no ego (i.e. no I, my, or myself) and no desire (leading to no greed, hatred and delusion), you will have no more suffering. You will be happy and have a lot of energy to love others. You will be lovely and naturally receive love, although you don’t think about getting it.
If you really love yourself, you will never let yourself be unhappy. If you can get all the love that you need from yourself, why do you need love from others? If you don’t love others, how can you expect others to love you?
Life of everyone naturally contains much suffering. The suffering include birth, ageing, sickness, death, association with the disliked, separation from beloved ones, and not getting what one wants. All sufferings are due to desire and attachment. Suffering stops when desire ceases. The way leading to cessation of suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path.
Wish to never have been born is a desire for non-existence. Wishing to stay young, to have perfect health, to live forever, associate only with the liked, never separate from loved ones, and always get what you want is impossible to be realized. If you accept this reality, see reality as it is instead of wishing it to be what you want to see, you will have no mental suffering. Nobody feels sad when their lottery ticket doesn’t make them rich. That’s because no one really expects to win, although they have the hope. Accept whatever happens, knowing it has to happen due to some reasons, and it is impermanent and just temporary, no amount of emotion can change it, one will stop seeing it as suffering. The problem is not that there are problems; the problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.
Buddhists are taught to always contemplate the three marks of existence: suffering, impermanence, and non-self. When one attains the ability to see reality as it is, he is said to have the Right View, which is the first factor of the Noble Eightfold Path. The body is not the real self, and the real self is not inside the body. The body is like an avatar which is remotely controlled by the real self. When the body breaks up, the real self is still around. However, it’s not unchanging. It might take up a new avatar which is another human being, or animal, ghost, deva, or Hell being. If one walks the Noble Eightfold Path successfully and attains Nibbana, he will never be reborn again into the world. No birth means no subsequent suffering; birth is the cause of all suffering, therefore birth is also a suffering. Hence, the best existence is non-existence. To achieve this, one must cease all desires including desires for sensual pleasure, existence, and non-existence. Walk the Noble Eightfold Path but stop thinking about gaining anything any time soon. Not thinking about it does not necessarily mean you won’t get it. A fertilized egg will hatch when the time comes.
A leper has a lot of itches and feels the need to scratch. He is sick. Similarly, feeling the need for sensual pleasure is a sickness. A true man who is 100% healthy will be able to live without desire. No desire naturally means no suffering, here and now. Better still, if there is no more rebirth into this world, then there will be no more suffering forever.
Karmic process is not racist. It doesn’t discriminate whether one is a Dutch or English, or one is a Buddhist or Christian, or one is Black or White. It’s a natural process akin to gravity. There is no one and no god who is tasked to record the good and bad karmic actions. There is no one and no god who is tasked to pass judgement and sentences. The fruition as a result of the karma or karmic actions is “automatic”; similar to the case where every action “automatically” leads to a reaction, the reactive force is equal and opposite to the applied force. The difference here is the karmic reaction is not immediate but works in a roundabout fashion. It’s like you push a button and then the “mechanical” system turns some gears and hits you unexpectedly.
There is no concrete proof that the Universe is finite or infinite. Scientists “prove” that the Universe is expanding but it is only based on reasoning. No one has ever gone to the edge of the Universe and came back to tell us about his experience. In a similar way, there is no concrete proof that the Karmic process exists or does not exist. However, based on reasoning, it’s convincing that there is really a Karmic process which is not perceivable using our six sense organs. For example, if one doesn’t study, it’s quite impossible for him to pass an examination. If one doesn’t eat, it’s impossible for him to grow up. There is a cause, therefore the effect. Non-causal processes are impossible in reality.
I believe the Buddha is an Enlightened being based on my study of the Suttas (in the five Nikayas) which are the words of the Buddha. All of them are lovely in the beginning, lovely in the middle, and lovely in the end. No ordinary person can possibly say those words other than the Buddha. He doesn’t perceive the body as the self; he transcended the worldly views based on the six sense organs. He has personal and direct knowledge about the karmic process. If one wishes to attain the same Enlightenment and become an Arahant, he must cultivate himself in terms of virtue, equanimity and wisdom. One who is yet to attain Enlightenment must not be arrogant to proclaim the existence or non-existence of the Karmic process because he just doesn’t have the direct and personal knowledge about it; like a scientist who has yet to visit the edge of the Universe. Similarly, one must not pretend that he knows what karmic action leads to what kind of fruit and when will the fruit become ripe.
According to the Buddha, as recorded in the Suttas, we can liken bad karmic actions as salt, and good karmic actions as water. If one does much more good karma than bad karma, the salt diluted in the water will not make it undrinkable. One can do good karma in thoughts, words and deeds through self moral conducts and also donations in terms of material, words and deeds.
Karmic process affects individuals but not the family, country, or race. Each person is the owner and heir of his karma. Natural disasters are not due to karma. However, some human actions can cause the demise of a country or civilization. These are man-made disasters. Not all victims are “sinful” but the evil persons who caused the disasters have committed very bad karma which may lead to their rebirth in Hell. Innocent victims will probably be reborn as humans.
One may think some rich people don’t deserve it because they are immoral and God must have made a mistake (or Karmic process doesn’t exist). One may think he should be rich because he is virtuous and God should reward him. Again, God made a mistake and didn’t do what should be done (or Karmic process doesn’t exist).
Most people become rich because they are greedy. God said greed is bad. Some people are not rich because they are content with what they already have rather than seeking more than what they need. God said being content is good.
Maybe the truth is: there is no God, or God is not omnipotent, or God is not always right, or we misunderstood God. We think we deserve it but we don’t; we think others don’t deserve it but they do. Karmic process is hard to understand. Greedy is indeed bad, but it is indeed a recipe to become rich. It is the work of the Karmic process. However, becoming rich is not necessarily good; it may be a curse. Being content is more conducive for happiness. Desire to become rich is effectively creating an unnecessary stumbling block for ourselves and then forcing us to cross over it just so we can find happiness. If we just be happy with what we have, we are already happy and no need to strive unnecessarily.
Most people in the world are living peacefully in their countries. If people stop chasing perfection, the world is already perfectly imperfect and needs no intervention from anyone. Of course, there is always room for improvement. However, there’s no need for one to be overly alarmist. The biggest threat today is that some advanced countries are actively destroying peace in the disguise of “defending human rights”. They are bombing poor countries and killing countless innocent civilians. That’s clearly destroying human rights but yet they proudly proclaim they are the “defenders of human rights”. Hillary Clinton proudly said in a TV interview: “We came, we saw, he died!” and then laughed uncontrollably. I can’t imagine any being which is more evil. Anyway, all beings are the heirs of their own karma, even though we may not live to witness the ripening of the fruits.
What we need to do today is to stop evil beings from destroying peace. However, we can’t start a war to create peace. We can only defend ourselves and tell the bullies to stop; and we wait for them to collapse due to their own doing. Believing in the existence of the Karmic process doesn’t mean we do nothing and just accept everything which hits us. Instead, we should cultivate ourselves in terms of virtue, equanimity and wisdom so that the fruit in the future is sweet. We accept whatever which hits us today as the ripening of our past karma; accepting the result means we have no suffering in terms of anger, fear, grief, lamentation or despair. Afterall, no amount of emotions can change the past, and no amount of emotions can guarantee a good future. There is no benefit to being emotional. By being equanimous, we have no mental suffering even though everything seems terrible at present.
Anyway, there’s no need to be pessimistic. The world is perfectly imperfect. Doing the wrong thing is worse than doing nothing.
Love based on physical beauty is only skin deep. If the skin is peeled off, the love will disappear. The same goes when the skin becomes wrinkled due to aging. Even if this “love” is “true” at the moment, it is obviously very shallow.
Physical beauty is not the most important thing in life. Love from someone is not the most important thing in life. The greatest and truest love of all is self-love. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect others to love you. You are the closest and dearest to yourself; if even yourself don’t love you, that only means you are not lovable or don’t deserve love from anybody.
A person is loved because he/she is lovely. A person is lovely only if he/she is a loving person. Conversely, a person who has a lot of greed, hatred and delusion will never find true love. Birds of the same feather flock together. A bad person can only have a bad person as “friend”. This kind of “friend” is actually an enemy disguised as “friend”. He/she is not a true friend. There is no true love involved.
Physical beauty or ugliness are illusions. All human distinctions are false. We train our minds to perceive something as beautiful and other things as ugly. We make ourselves unhappy when we see “unpleasant” things. This is a form of self-sabotage and we are doing disservice to ourselves.
The most important thing in life is happiness. One is happy when he/she is “rich”. One is truly “rich” when he/she is a giver; because a taker is simply not much better than a beggar. Hence, one is truly “rich” when he/she is a giver of loving kindness, compassion, Dhamma, much better than material wealth. It is hard for a beggar to feel happy.
Everything is impermanent. Love is impermanent. Love arises due to certain conditions, and disappears when the conditions change. Separation from what we love is a kind of suffering. This separation is unavoidable; either the beloved one will leave us, or we will leave the beloved one when we die. Association with the disliked is another kind of suffering. This association is also unavoidable if we have likes and dislikes. The only way to have no suffering is to have no likes and no dislikes. Having no attachment naturally means never having a detachment in the future. However, love and attachment are two different things. Love means “I want you to be happy”. Attachment means “I want you to make me happy”. It is totally possible to love someone without any attachment; impermanent love need not be a problem and need not cause suffering.
The body is impermanent. Everyone will face aging, sickness, and death. Emotional attachment to the body will cause suffering. However, self-love without attachment will cause no suffering here and now, and also the future when the body breaks up.
“And as for a person who is impure in his bodily behavior & verbal behavior, and who does not periodically experience mental clarity & calm, how should one subdue hatred for him? Just as when there is a sick man — in pain, seriously ill — traveling along a road, far from the next village & far from the last, unable to get the food he needs, unable to get the medicine he needs, unable to get a suitable assistant, unable to get anyone to take him to human habitation. Now suppose another person were to see him coming along the road. He would do what he could out of compassion, pity, & sympathy for the man, thinking, ‘O that this man should get the food he needs, the medicine he needs, a suitable assistant, someone to take him to human habitation. Why is that? So that he won’t fall into ruin right here.’ In the same way, when a person is impure in his bodily behavior & verbal behavior, and who does not periodically experience mental clarity & calm, one should do what one can out of compassion, pity, & sympathy for him, thinking, ‘O that this man should abandon wrong bodily conduct and develop right bodily conduct, abandon wrong verbal conduct and develop right verbal conduct, abandon wrong mental conduct and develop right mental conduct. Why is that? So that, on the break-up of the body, after death, he won’t fall into the plane of deprivation, the bad destination, the lower realms, purgatory.’ Thus the hatred for him should be subdued.” — Anguttara Nikaya, 5.162.
Your self-worth should matter the most to yourself. If you think you worth “so much” and you expect others to agree with you, then it is not self-worth but auctioning for a “price tag”; i.e. you are waiting for others to suggest a “price” to indicate your “worth”. If you really care about your self-worth, you should not care about the “price” someone says who you are worth. If you let others decide “how much you are worth”, you are simply disrespecting yourself.
How do you increase your self-worth as far as you are concerned? The true value of your self-worth means anything only if it makes you happier. If you become happier and happier each day, that means your self-worth is increasing. If you make yourself feel unhappy, you are effectively decreasing your self-worth; i.e. that is self-sabotage.
Do you need to achieve any success to make yourself feel happy; i.e. increase your self-worth? A happy life is the only successful life as far as oneself should be concerned. If you become a billionaire, top scientist, respected person, famous singer, or other so-called “achievement”, it is your worth in the eyes of other people. There is nothing wrong to feel proud about it. However, this is simply not self-worth.
What achievement can increase your self-worth; i.e. increase your happiness? The achievement that you need is Enlightenment. When you can abide pleasantly at all times, with no mental suffering, you will never become unhappy ever again. You will have no fear, obligation, and guilt (FOG). This is achieved by abandoning greed, hatred, and delusion; perfecting your virtue, equanimity, and wisdom. You will live in the present moment, no regret or remorse about the past, and no worry or expectation about the future. This is the greatest self-worth that one can gain. Your self-worth or inner-worth need not have any link or fetter to the outer-worth.
If you were born without hands and legs, or even bedridden and seemingly not able to do anything, can you be successful? You are not successful if you feel unhappy; but you can become successful if you find the way and walk the path in your heart. Happiness and Success
The only way to happiness is by living in the right way religiously, i.e. ardently and resolutely. There is no path to happiness, because happiness is the path. We must stay happy in the happiness path, then only we can be happy here and now, and into the future. If one is not happy now, where does his confidence come from which makes him so arrogantly assume he can find happiness in the future? Is it not false hope?
The only way to suffering is by living in the wrong way religiously. Some people live so dependent on the empty promises from religious leaders or political leaders but still think that they are free. A person can never be free if he is chained by many fetters to this world. A person lives dependent on a “god” to save him, dependent on sensual pleasure more than the basic needs, dependent on relationships with others to supply goodwill and sense of love, instead of personal accountability can never be free. A person lives dependent on rules and rituals, dependent on worldly views, doesn’t have freedom of thought and is effectively fettered. He lives with fear, obligations and guilt.
A person who lives with a lot of ego, thinking he is right and others are wrong, never trust anyone but himself, never learn from anyone nor books, is living religiously with himself as his God. It’s also a way to suffering instead of happiness. He is not free from suffering.
One can liberate himself through perfection of virtue, equanimity and wisdom by cultivating himself religiously to abandon greed, hatred and delusion.
“Bhikkhus, possessing five qualities, a bhikkhu dwells in suffering in this very life — with distress, anguish, and fever — and with the breakup of the body, after death, a bad destination can be expected for him.
What five?
Here, a bhikkhu is devoid of faith, morally shameless, morally reckless, lazy, and unwise.
Possessing these five qualities, a bhikkhu dwells in suffering in this very life — with distress, anguish, and fever — and with the breakup of the body, after death, he can expect a bad destination.
“Bhikkhus, possessing five other qualities, a bhikkhu dwells happily in this very life — without distress, anguish, and fever — and with the breakup of the body, after death, a good destination can be expected for him.
What five?
Here, a bhikkhu is endowed with faith, has a sense of moral shame, has moral dread, and is energetic and wise.
Possessing these five qualities, a bhikkhu dwells happily in this very life — without distress, anguish, and fever — and with the breakup of the body, after death, a good destination can be expected for him.”
I am more of a Daoist but I learned a lot of good and useful philosophical ideas from Theravada Buddhism. It’s much more systematic in teaching followers to attain awakening of the truth. Of course, attainment of direct and personal knowledge of the truth depends on the striving efforts of individuals.
From Theravada Buddhism, one can cross the floods of suffering more easily, because that’s the emphasis. One learns to abandon clinging to self identification, sensual desire, rules and rituals, and worldly views. It really helps one to find inner peace and equanimity. Cultivation of loving kindness, compassion and joy are parts of the process of walking the spiritual path.
Some Buddhism sects teach followers to focus on loving kindness and compassion. Many end up with more suffering because they care too much about other people and the world. In other words, they neglect loving kindness and compassion for themselves. They share the feeling of pain or suffering of others instead of cultivating equanimity and teaching others the right path to cease all suffering of themselves, by themselves, and for themselves. It’s like a person in a cesspool trying to save another out of the cesspool; the efforts out of their loving kindness and compassion will just be futile. It may even be counterproductive; leading the followers to the wrong path instead of the right path. I was one of the victims.
If you really want to learn the teaching of Buddha, there is no better way than listening to the original words of the Buddha as recorded in the early Buddhist texts. If you really want to learn the original teaching of the Buddha, why would you seek the words from a deviated sect (i.e. not the original teaching)? Non-original Buddhism sects are just “Buddhism” in name but not in essence; like counterfeit products or unauthorized replicas of the real products.
“And as for a person who is impure in his bodily behavior & verbal behavior, and who does not periodically experience mental clarity & calm, how should one subdue hatred for him? Just as when there is a sick man — in pain, seriously ill — traveling along a road, far from the next village & far from the last, unable to get the food he needs, unable to get the medicine he needs, unable to get a suitable assistant, unable to get anyone to take him to human habitation. Now suppose another person were to see him coming along the road. He would do what he could out of compassion, pity, & sympathy for the man, thinking, ‘O that this man should get the food he needs, the medicine he needs, a suitable assistant, someone to take him to human habitation. Why is that? So that he won’t fall into ruin right here.’ In the same way, when a person is impure in his bodily behavior & verbal behavior, and who does not periodically experience mental clarity & calm, one should do what one can out of compassion, pity, & sympathy for him, thinking, ‘O that this man should abandon wrong bodily conduct and develop right bodily conduct, abandon wrong verbal conduct and develop right verbal conduct, abandon wrong mental conduct and develop right mental conduct. Why is that? So that, on the break-up of the body, after death, he won’t fall into the plane of deprivation, the bad destination, the lower realms, purgatory.’ Thus the hatred for him should be subdued.” — Anguttara Nikaya, 5.162. I have no hatred toward any Buddhism sects or other religions. Out of compassion, pity, and sympathy for the man, I only wish he abandons wrong conducts and develops right conducts, for the joy and equanimity of himself, in this life and also next life (if any).
“There will be, in the course of the future, monks undeveloped in body, undeveloped in virtue, undeveloped in mind, undeveloped in discernment.
They — being undeveloped in body, undeveloped in virtue, undeveloped in mind, undeveloped in discernment — will give full ordination to others and will not be able to discipline them in heightened virtue, heightened mind, heightened discernment.
These too will then be undeveloped in body… virtue… mind… discernment.
They — being undeveloped in body… virtue… mind… discernment — will give full ordination to still others and will not be able to discipline them in heightened virtue, heightened mind, heightened discernment.
These too will then be undeveloped in body… virtue… mind… discernment.
Thus from corrupt Dhamma comes corrupt discipline; from corrupt discipline, corrupt Dhamma.
This, monks, is the first future danger, unarisen at present, that will arise in the future.
Be alert to it and, being alert, work to get rid of it.” — Anguttara Nikaya, 5.79.
RESILIENT KID 