There are many schools of philosophy originated from China. Most of them were started during the Spring and Autumn period, prior to the Warring State period, around 600 BC (within Zhou Dynasty). Chinese call them 诸子百家 meaning numerous scholars and hundred of philosophy schools. There are similarities and differences between them. During the Han Dynasty, a historian named 班固 (32 – 92 AD) grouped them into 10 schools: 儒家、道家、墨家、法家、名家、阴阳家、纵横家、杂家、农家、小说家。

The original Greek meaning of philosophy is “search for wisdom”. Therefore, it is also regarded as a field of study on “ways to gain wisdom”, or is itself “the highest wisdom of life”. It encompasses world views, value systems, and ways of doing things or responding to various problems. Learning philosophy and mastering the highest wisdom of life are very useful to everyone. Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to What are the best philosophies to live by?

The main reason why so many schools of philosophy were innovated was the chaotic political and economic situation at that time. Political power was not centralized but shared by the heads of various states; each had full control over his state like an independent country with its own army. Greed and jealousy caused the larger states to annex smaller states. It is like Millionaires desiring to become Billionaires. To fulfill their dreams, they need intelligent scholars with Capitalistic innovations to help them enslave the people of neighboring states. The Capitalistic environment encouraged innovations, scholarships, and free flow of talents. There were no shortage of scholars who innovated ideas focusing on helping the kings or dukes; there were also scholars who innovated ideas focusing on helping the people first and foremost to strengthen the state against external threats, i.e. the idea of benevolent leaders. There were philosophies focusing on Individualism as well as Collectivism.

Another reason for the blossom of various philosophy schools was the underlying philosophy of the Zhou Dynasty which embraces diversity and changes. It is said that all the Chinese philosophies were children of Yi Jing 易经 or “The Book of Change” which was the founding philosophy of Zhou Dynasty. It is one which accommodates differences 兼容并蓄. Yi 易 has three meanings 易有三义: 简易 Simple, 变易 Changing, and 不易 Not Changing. 简易 Simple means “everything must be made simple but not simpler”. 变易 Changing means “everything is changing from time to time, and from places to places”. 不易 Not Changing means “despite the constant changes, there are certain things (rhythm, trend, pattern, Dao, truths etc.) which never change”. 

Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to How do I traverse through this jungle of various life philosophies, doctrines, religions, and of course God, successfully, to remain satisfied with peace of mind?

简易 Simple means make everything simple for each person to live his own life easily; don’t turn simple issues into complex problems which trouble each other and cause disharmony 不和. The spirit includes 慈 unconditional love, 俭 conservation, and 让 forgiving/non-competing. One must have 慈 unconditional love towards others to become accommodative, for the sake of harmony. A big person 大人 is one who will gain veneration, as opposed to 小人 little man. A big person is one who gives (therefore, is considered rich even though he is not a millionaire) while a little man is one who takes (even though he already is wealthy). 简 and 俭 have similar meaning: simple means wanting little and giving little so that one can save up material and energy to give widely and help more people (rather than enriching oneself or giving much to a few but none to many) 俭用以爱人. 让 forgiving/non-competing means let your neighbor gains the advantage instead of competing for small benefit which is unessential for one’s happiness; forgive your neighbor; and don’t meddle with the private life of your neighbor but let each takes care of his own business. Peace and harmony is the greatest wealth, without which prosperity will be hard to come by for everybody. This is one of the reasons the founding Emperor of the Zhou Dynasty didn’t want to be a dictator but decentralize the political power. 

变易 Changing means seeing reality as it is rather than wishing it to be unchanging according to what one wants to see. Everything is impermanent; that is the reality. Nobody lives forever; no government lasts forever. The Shang Dynasty was replaced by the Zhou Dynasty; that was an important lesson to the founders of the new government. The Zhou Dynasty would not last forever; so were the various states. Nevertheless, longevity is much desired by everybody. One key to gain longevity is to embrace change. Since everything changes from time to time, from places to places, one must not be rigid but flexible in adapting to changes. The longevity of each state depended on its ability in adapting to the land or new territory/environment given to them. The central government would not want to dictate or micromanage the working of each state because inflexibility would cause disastrous effects. In those ancient times, the central government simply had neither wish nor ability to rule the whole country and defend the borders. There wasn’t transportation nor communication networks advanced enough to send an army to the four corners of the land; not until the Qin Dynasty when various states had been independently developed. Unification became inevitable.

不易 Not Changing means “despite the constant changes, there are certain things (rhythm, trend, pattern, Dao, truths etc.) which never change”. Whatever is subject to arising is subject to cessation; this is an unchanging truth, just like the four seasons in a year which is predictable. Mastering the Dao, truths and wisdoms is another key to longevity. Various philosophy schools were thus innovated, each expounded and glorified their own doctrines, but as for the doctrines of others, they deprecate them, revile them, show contempt for them, and disparage them. They leave us absolutely uncertain and in doubt: Which of these philosophy schools are speaking the truth, and which ones are lying? The answer is: go back to the second meaning of Yi Jing, i.e. “everything is changing from time to time, and from places to places”. There are traditions which must be kept; and there are traditions which must be changed from time to time, from places to places.

This is how Chinese philosophies, thus Chinese culture, embrace both tradition and change. Being rigid, too much desire to preserve traditions and refusing to change, violates the very core value of Chinese culture. On the other hand, too eager to change and destroy all traditions, also violates the very core value of Chinese culture. To change or not to change; that is the question. How could we be certain and have no doubt in making the decision? The answer is: go back to the first meaning of Yi Jing. Peace and harmony is the ultimate consideration 礼之用 和为贵. The spirits of 慈 unconditional love, 俭 conservation, and 让 forgiving/non-competing are vital. The Rites of Zhou 周礼 embraces inequality in harmony. Inequality is a necessity, so is harmony; just like music requires different notes and harmony. It is important for everyone to know his place. On the other hand, it is important for everyone to venerate benevolent givers 大人 and endeavor to become one (instead of 小人 little man who is greedy to receive social welfare from everybody). 子曰：君子怀德，小人怀土；君子怀刑，小人怀惠。Today, rich people are made richer by the money printing machine. The rich people who received the most social welfare from everybody are the real little men.

Moral and Ethics

Ethics as defined in the Webster’s dictionary is:

1: the discipline dealing with what is good and bad and with moral duty and obligation

2a: a set of moral principles : a theory or system of moral values

b: the principles of conduct governing an individual or a group

c: a guiding philosophy

d: a consciousness of moral importance

3: a set of moral issues or aspects (such as rightness)

Religious people follow many moral mandates based on their religions. Different religions have different sets of moral mandates. Believers of one religion may disagree with some of the moral codes of another religion. Atheists are often shocked by those moral codes and refuse to do those things which may seem profitable to oneself and the society. Who is right and who is wrong? Surely, not all are right and not all are wrong. It is completely likely that all are not right.

What Libertarianism Is (according to Mises institute) “The libertarian creed rests upon one central axiom: that no man or group of men may aggress against the person or property of anyone else. This may be called the “nonaggression axiom.” “Aggression” is defined as the initiation of the use or threat of physical violence against the person or property of anyone else. Aggression is therefore synonymous with invasion.” Most Libertarians, if not all, believe this is the one and only ethical code that is essential for the proper functioning of a society whereas no moral standard should exist.

I am not a Libertarian, but I agree with their view on moral and ethics. Some people have no ethics at all and have no principles. They act spontaneously, just doing whatever seems like a good idea at the time. There are others who have flawed moral codes that will consistently lead them in the wrong direction. The social value to oneself and the society may be questionable.

If we place great emphasis on personal accountability, each and every person should conduct himself in such a way that will make him lovely in the eyes of the people around him in order to deserve their love. Often it means he must be a loving person who loves those deserving his love. He should not be expected to love everybody equally. Anyone who doesn’t deserve to be loved should not be loved; this is to encourage him to conduct himself in the proper ways. Otherwise, he will start to have an entitlement mentality and assumes that others have the duty and obligation to supply a sense of wellbeing to him unconditionally. Are religious people supposed to love others unconditionally, regardless of the virtue or moral conducts of the recipients of the love? Wouldn’t it be counterproductive to the wellbeing of the society as a whole?

We should not standardize a set of moral codes or make them as mandates to demand obedience from everybody. Nobody needs love from everybody. We only need love from somebody; therefore, a set of moral codes for the close community is good enough. We must respect the right of other communities to have their own set of moral codes. The set of moral codes should remain a guiding philosophy and not hard rules which can be used to demand obedience from anybody. A person is not loved if he violates the moral codes; this is already a punishment and no authorities should be allowed to inflict more harm to him, physically or verbally. People are united by love and forgiveness; not by rules and regulations. And, intelligent people don’t need the promise of Heaven to see the merits of good deeds.

Tolerance is the power to forgive (恕). If the schools and parents are powerless to forgive, how can they expect the children to have tolerance? One day, Confucius told his disciple, Zeng Shen: “Shen, my philosophies can all be related by one fundamental principle.” Zeng Shen replied: “Understood.” After Confucius left, the other disciples asked Zeng Shen: “What is the meaning?” Zeng Shen said: “The philosophies of our teacher can all be related to Honesty and Forgiveness.” (子曰： “参乎，吾道一以贯之。” 曾子曰： “唯。” 子出，门人问曰： “何谓也？” 曾子曰： “夫子之道，忠恕而已矣。”) Honesty (忠) means truly coming from the heart (忠于事，忠于言，忠于人，忠于己). Loyalty is an act of dishonesty if it doesn’t come from the heart; although some people like it that way regardless. When you are honest, to yourself and to others, everything you said comes from your heart. Nothing is artificial or pretentious, although you may not be right all the time. You will be honest to the king as much as being honest to the people. You will be honest in doing your job, and never make any promise that you don’t intend to keep. You will be honest to yourself, be who you are and not pretend to be someone you are not. If your heart is full of the capacity to forgive, you will be able to tolerate differences and not insist on conformance, although you like people to show good moral conduct. 

Another day, Confucius told another disciple, Zi Gong: “Ci, do you think I am someone who learns a lot and becomes knowledgeable by memorizing everything that I’ve learnt?” Zi Gong replied: “I think so. Isn’t it true?” Confucius said: “Not really. I have one fundamental principle to relate and bind together all my knowledge.” (子曰： “赐也，女以予为多学而识之者与？” 对曰： “然，非与？” 曰： “非也！予一以贯之。”) Anything that has nothing to do with Honesty and Forgiveness isn’t Confucianism even if Confucians say it is. You don’t have to become knowledgeable by memorizing a lot of things that you’ve learnt. You just need to let Honesty and Forgiveness guide you in your words and actions, and in making decisions to move or to stop (言行举止). Confucius said: “Compassion includes being respectful, forgiving, truthful, hardworking, and benevolent. Being respectful to everybody will avoid being humiliated. Being forgiving will be loved by everybody. Being truthful will be trusted by everybody. Being hardworking will bring success. Being benevolent (i.e. showing the people how they can benefit themselves by following certain techniques or methods) will be able to influence others to work for common good.” (恭、宽、信、敏、惠。恭则不侮，宽则得众，信则人任焉，敏则有功，惠则足以使人。) It is a self-interest to be a compassionate person. Self-love or selfishness is not wrong so long as it doesn’t break the laws. Harangues of preachers for people to show selflessness and compassion are unnecessary.

Some children who are bullied by the schools, parents, and peers may become another kind of bullies. Because they are different (don’t like to follow “rules” but they are not violent), and they refuse to change their behaviors in the so-called “socialization” or complying with the norms, they become very defensive. They feel threatened by people who are “normal” or comply with the norms. They become intolerant of “normal” people. As time goes, the allergic condition becomes acute and they may attack first upon encountering “normal” people, like snakes biting humans who inadvertently walk by. They may think that they have to choose between being the bullies or the victims, and there is no third choice. They think “good people are bullied by people, non-violent horses are ridden by people” (人善被人欺，马善被人骑).

Do you feel sad to ask: “Where is the love?” Can you feel the love? There is a shortage of unconditional love (慈), but people mistaken it as a shortage of compassion (仁) and righteousness (义); hence they call for everybody to show compassion and righteousness, instead of love. A person with a lot of love will not be an angry person. It is good for him and everybody around him.

Moral guides can be useful in educating children to understand the wholesome and unwholesome karma which can lead to good and bad fruitions, respectively. The ethical code of “nonaggression principle” must be enforced by laws. Standardization of moral codes for the whole population of a country or the world can lead to disharmony, therefore it is a wrong thing to do. No moral standards should exist in that sense. Diversity should be celebrated instead of seeing it as a problem and start desiring to force unity of thinking or institutionalization of groupthink. Moral codes must not be weaponized; otherwise, it will yield the opposite effects to the original purposes of the moral codes. If the society has a lot of love and forgiveness, moral codes can help to maintain and enhance personal happiness as well as societal harmony. These are good social values to oneself and the society. Love and forgiveness are much more important than moral codes.

Moral standard is such a scary term to me.

The original Greek meaning of philosophy is “search for wisdom”. Therefore, it is also regarded as a field of study on “ways to gain wisdom”, or is itself “the highest wisdom of life”. It encompasses world views, value systems, and ways of doing things or responding to various problems. Learning philosophy and mastering the highest wisdom of life are very useful to everyone. The question is: What is one philosophy that everyone should live by? Is there one brainy quote, or one school of thoughts, that encompasses everything one should live by to deal with everything about world views, value systems, and ways of doing things? Clearly, one would need to learn many different philosophies, from various schools of thoughts. The first philosophy to learn and to live by is the way leading to the ability to absorb various philosophies without aversion to any.

Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to How do I traverse through this jungle of various life philosophies, doctrines, religions, and of course God, successfully, to remain satisfied with peace of mind?

Is there a definitive standard for world views, value systems, and ways of doing things or responding to various problems? No one can achieve great success without the helps from the right time (天), right space (地), and right people (人), although he knows the right way (道). Nothing is absolutely and permanently right. What is right today may be wrong in the past and in the future. What is wrong here may be right in another place, or when a different group of people (with different mindsets or cultural backgrounds) is concerned. We must not be rigid but always be flexible. We must embrace diversity as a gift instead of a problem. Intolerance is like allergy. Wanting to standardize everything to enforce unity, intolerance of diversity, only shows that the person has an ego problem and is internally engulfed by the fires of greed, hatred and delusion.

We need to keep learning and have the intelligence to free us from distress (envy, jealousy, and arrogance) we inflict on ourselves through our ignorance. However, a wise man knows there are unlimited numbers of subjects that he cannot possibly learn all of them during his lifetime. He learns as much as he can, more than what he needs to learn, for the fun of it. In contrast, an arrogant man thinks there is nothing else that he needs to learn. (知不知，尚矣；不知不知，病矣。)

Don’t chase for success; success will chase you if you deserve to be successful. Chasing for success means you will stress yourself so much with many sleepless nights, burning midnight oil in order to achieve success. Your intelligence will work against you, rather than works for you. Not chasing success doesn’t mean you don’t work hard; you work as you should but you don’t think about personal profit or loss. If you are really intelligent, both cognitive and emotional, you will become a magnet which attracts successes. Sharpen your mind and you will be able to help when the opportunity presents itself. You don’t have to keep asking for a chance to show your usefulness. Success is where preparation and opportunity meet.

Anyway, success is not necessarily a good thing. It could be a punishment, and you get it if you deserve it. You need to feel alarmed because disaster may be hiding behind fortune (福乃祸之所伏). If you don’t get it, it is not a cause for disappointment. Instead, you should feel happy because you don’t get the punishment (祸乃福之所倚). Living a simple life will bring you more happiness. Getting a good thing which you don’t deserve is unfortunate (不吉祥); don’t lose your happiness, hence your life, by desiring to get success which you don’t deserve. You have no life if you have no happiness.

Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to How can one achieve a good life

We must learn to be resilient. Many books teach us how to be resilient. We are told to stay calm and ask ourselves some questions. If you fall down one day, and you are very weak, would you be able to stand back up by yourself? If you are overwhelmed by grief, despair, anger, fear, or physical pain, would you be able to stay calm, or listen to advice? Only a strong person can stay calm, which is the precondition to think and act in the appropriate way. The only way for you to become a strong person is to learn the way to become strong before something bad happens; walk the path, make the wisdom become, and not just stop at knowing the path. You will then be able to withstand hardships and recover quickly from difficult conditions. That is the true meaning of resilient. Everybody has a dream, but not everyone has a plan; and fewer still have the intelligence and strength to execute the plan successfully. Everybody who goes to the fighting ring has a plan to defeat his opponent until he gets a punch in the face; the plan becomes useless. A perfect plan is useless if you don’t have the intelligence and strength to execute it. You can learn how to be resilient. But if you don’t become strong, you will not be able to spring back into shape after bending, stretching, or being compressed.

Don’t ask what the meaning of life is; life is meaningless if you are not happy. There is no path to happiness; happiness is the path. There are many things that you can be happy about in your life; don’t focus on the unhappy things. There are many white spaces on the whiteboard; don’t focus on the black ink. That is why you need to be resilient; so that you can continue to enjoy the happy moments of life even if there are difficult situations from time to time. What is the purpose of life? The answer is out there, and it’s looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to. That person in the mirror is your savior.

Does anyone prefer to live without happiness? Do you really need to have a lot of things (fame, knowledge, wealth, relationship, materialistic things, delicious foods and leisure) to be able to feel happy? Can you still consider yourself successful if you need a lot of external help (fame, knowledge, wealth, relationship, materialistic things, delicious foods and leisure), like a crutch, only then you can live happily? Can you consider yourself successful if you always live in fear, anger, grief, guilt, or feeling duty-bound to someone/something?

The unhappiness of anyone is the doing of him/her to himself/herself, because only he/she has access to his/her heart. It is not the obligation of anyone else to make him/her happy. Similarly, nobody is guilty if you don’t want to make yourself feel happy. Kids can learn this personal accountability better if their parents are good role models. Are you a resilient parent? Learning to become resilient is as relevant for parents as much as it is for children. Parenting is one of the most difficult jobs in the world, because it means becoming a resilient leader yourself first. Parenting skills can be taught, but not everybody will be able to learn it well. It is probably harder than any courses that you can learn in a university.

Would you consider having the ability to feel happy under any circumstances as an achievement of good life? If you do, here is my answer: Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to Can we be happy even if everything seems to be terrible? Does happiness depend of the external circumstances?

Have you ever felt guilty when you were accused of doing something wrong, or not doing something you are expected to do? Have you ever felt obligated to do something when you were told you have a duty to do it? Have you ever felt fear of losing something or someone when you were threatened with such plausibility? Do you like feeling stressed and anxious when you desire to get something you like, or to lose something you dislike? Do you like the angry feeling when something bad happens, or something good didn’t happen according to what you wish? Do you like the sad feeling of losing a loved one, or being betrayed by a friend? Do you like the disappointment feeling of failure? Will you feel devastated if you or your loved ones are dying? These are all mental suffering or Duhkha. Are you sure you have the mental strength to get back up and continue to live happily after a devastating experience?

If you have good health in terms of mind and body, you already have everything that you need in life. If you have all the things in this world but not happiness and good health, nothing is useful to you. It is obvious that the paramount and original purpose of education is for the students’ wellbeing in terms of mind and body; everything else is secondary (such as ethics, moral, cognitive skills, interpersonal skills, social unity, job readiness, etc.). You must first know how to take care of yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup. When you are strong, mentally and physically, you will then have the capacity to love your neighbors. You become one with abundant to give; rather than a poor guy who needs someone to supply love and compassion to you.

I have written a blog to teach everybody the ancient wisdom on how to live our lives to the fullest. Here it is: “HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK” Table-of-Content. To do that, we must be ready to unlearn some common dogmas and relearn some uncommon ideas. If you aren’t ready to hear an idea — no matter if it’s legitimate or urgent — then it won’t matter. You will reject it, miscategorize it, or mock a caricature of it. A strong grip on common knowledge (执于法) will not take you very far. You will be as common as any common people.

Everybody thinks he is right (执于我). People think you are wrong when you are different, or you have a different view from them. The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. The truth is: nobody is right, so it is OK that you are not right, so long as you are not wrong. Don’t be afraid to be not right. In fact, you shouldn’t desire to be right; you shouldn’t think like the fools and fanatics. Avoid self-righteous so that you keep your brain half-empty and ready to absorb new ideas. The sea can become big because it stays low and accepts the discharges from all rivers. Be like the sea, have the stomach to accept new ideas (both the not-right and not-wrong ones), and have the stomach to forgive and accept the fools and fanatics (海纳百川 有容乃大). The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. Continue to improve your intelligence (睿智), learn to think critically (i.e. not blind acceptance of any teaching), and widen your knowledge on all subjects (聪明). These are essential to gain the ultimate wisdom of life (道). Having no zeal to discriminate right and wrong, you will be able to apply the appropriate not-right or not-wrong idea according to the conditions (缘起) which are arising.

The weakest part of your body is your heart. It can be hurt by words into your ears and images into your eyes. To become resilient, you must strengthen your heart more than anything else. To be as strong and equanimous as the cliff of one thousand foots, you must minimize your desires (壁立千仞 无欲则刚) so that you are unmoved by blames nor praises. The ultimate wisdom of life is about you and you alone. You are the most important one to yourself, the one who deserves your love the most. If you have a high level of desires (欲), you will need a lot of tangible and intangible things to fill that gap between what you need and what you want. Conversely, if you feel happy because you know you already have everything that you need (i.e. contentment with a healthy body and mind), you will be able to live your life to the fullest, and you will look steady and respectable (like the cliff). But it takes high intelligence to minimize desires and resist temptations because we are not talking about the common types of desires. You need to resist the temptations of achieving “success” for yourself and your loved ones, of having a strong grip on your life and the lives of others, of doing your “duty” to change Nature according to your wishes, of blaming yourself for any “imperfections”. When you gain the ultimate wisdom of life, your heart will be shielded with “golden bell” (金钟罩) and “iron cloth” (铁布纱). You will be resilient.

Nirvana is not the Heaven. Nirvana is a state of mind. It means the destruction of greed, hatred and delusion in oneself. That also means the perfection of virtue, equanimity and wisdom; which will bring a more superior form of happiness to oneself; one cannot feel that kind of happiness if he/she only knows the theory but not really practicing abandonment of greed, hatred and delusion. One can reach the state of Nirvana in this very life by walking the Noble Eightfold Path; it is not an afterlife thing. One who has reached Nirvana is called an Arahant, the highest level Arya-hood. He/she will never be reborn again after this lifetime. The best existence is non-existence in terms of having eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind to take care of. After the breaking up of the body, an Arahant will not be reborn in either Heaven, human realm, ghost realm, animal realm, or Hell. The spokes of the wheel of rebirth are broken and the Arahant escapes the cycle of Samsara once and for all.

The Buddha is not someone to be worshiped by Buddhists. The Buddha is a state of mind in oneself. Gotama Buddha is also an Arahant; more than an Arahant if one wishes to be more precise. After reaching Parinirvana, he no longer exists in terms of having eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind. He will not receive anything from the worship of Buddhists. One can never find the Buddha anywhere other than within his/her own mind. When one sees the Dharma, he/she sees the Buddha. If one doesn’t see the Dharma, he/she will not see the real Buddha. In Zen Buddhism, there is a popular saying: “When you see a demon, kill the demon. When you see Buddha, kill the Buddha. 见佛杀佛，见魔杀魔” The reason being: one can never see the real Buddha in the real world. Don’t be fooled by any individual who claims himself to be a Buddha. On the contrary, we can often “see” demons, the greatest of which is the Mara demon who keeps disturbing us and instigating us to boost our greed, hatred and delusion. It also instigates us to increase our sensual desires, self identification, views (about right vs. wrong and other issues), and clinging to rules and rituals. Buddhism spiritual practice is basically about fighting against Mara and other demons; thus, we should kill the demons (by abolishing greed, hatred and delusion) when we see them (within ourselves). We must always look inwards; focus our attention on the body, feeling, mind, and Dharma. Stop finding fault in other people or the outer world. We should also stop trying to find Buddha, including future Buddha. To cross the flood of suffering, we must not stand still and we must also not strive too hard. Too much desire to find Buddha within ourselves, or to reach Nirvana, will be counterproductive. We must choose the middle path. The Buddha will find us when we are ready.

Does the Buddha exist after Parinirvana? Does the Buddha not exist after Parinirvana? Does the Buddha both exist and not exist after Parinirvana? Does the Buddha neither exist nor not exist after Parinirvana? All the above views are incorrect. The existence of these views is because one perceives the world using his/her eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body and mind. The Buddha does not perceive the six sense organs as the real self; he has transcended the worldly views and not bound by those fetters. What or where is the real self of the Buddha? We may try to understand it as a totally different kind of “existence” as if he is being in another plane of “existence”. One cannot perceive the existence or non-existence of the Buddha using his/her six sense organs which have limited capability. Just as one cannot tell that he/she is inside a dream when he/she is dreaming. Only after one is awakened that one can realize he/she was inside a dream.

Is the Buddha statue in a monastery the correct depiction of him? Does the Buddha have hair on his head or was he bald? All the Buddha statues are only meant for certain purposes and must not be taken seriously (which will otherwise defeat the purposes of the Buddha statues). Always remember, “When you see a demon, kill the demon. When you see Buddha, kill the Buddha.” We are supposed to abandon greed, hatred and delusion for the happiness of ourselves. Wouldn’t it be foolish to feel unhappy upon contacting our six sense organs with the six sense objects? It would only show that one has no control over his/her body, feeling and mind.

What does the Buddha gain when we worship him? He gains nothing but all the gains come to us. We practice abandoning our ego when we sincerely bow down in front of the Buddha statue. We don’t have to do it, but we can choose to do it, for our own welfare. The Buddha statue is definitely not the real Buddha, but it can serve like a finger which points us to the right direction; just as the finger which points to the moon of which one must not mistake it as the moon itself. The suttas are also “fingers which point to the moon but not to be mistaken as the moon itself”. The real Dharma can only be experienced but not taught to us; the real Dharma is not the words written in the suttas. However, that doesn’t mean the suttas are dispensable. These are like boats which can carry us to cross the flood of suffering; but the boats should be abandoned or passed to someone else once we have reached the destination or Nirvana. Clinging to nothing, including the suttas, is the final goal.

A real monk would aim to reach Nirvana in this very life, regardless of whether he can actually attain Arahanthood. One is not a good disciple of the Buddha if he only wishes to remain a Bodhisattva, or he wishes to be reincarnated. Making vows has no effect whatsoever on oneself or others; it is the karma that counts. You reap what you sow. Greedy for high positions of monkhood in a monastery, or receiving a lot of contributions from Buddhist devotees, or building lavish monasteries in the name of doing good for the society, or being reborn in Heaven or as a special man, these are obviously not the real teaching of the Buddha. Whether one is a monk or a lay follower, he/she must practice abandoning greed, hatred and delusion for the happiness of oneself. A lay follower needs not aim to become an Arahant but he can become Sotāpanna, Sakadāgāmi, or Anāgāmi. Fear, anger, grief, lamentation and despair are unnecessary and avoidable suffering. Radiating Metta or loving kindness, showing compassion for the misfortune of others, doesn’t mean we should share the feeling of others. When another person suffers, he/she does not take away our virtue, equanimity and wisdom; it is our doing to ourselves for losing our wholesome states. Empathy (or sharing the bad feelings of others) is not good advice.

I have heard that on one occasion Venerable Ananda was staying in Kosambi at Ghosita’s monastery. Then a certain householder, a disciple of the Fatalists (Ajivakas), went to him and, on arrival, having bowed down to him, sat to one side. As he was sitting there he said to Venerable Ananda, “Among us, sir, whose Dhamma is well-taught? Who has practiced well in this world? Who in the world is well-gone?”

“In that case, householder, I will question you in return. Answer as you see fit. Now, what do you think: those who teach a Dhamma for the abandoning of passion, for the abandoning of aversion, for the abandoning of delusion — is their Dhamma well-taught or not? Or how does this strike you?” The householder replied: “Sir, those who teach a Dhamma for the abandoning of passion, for the abandoning of aversion, for the abandoning of delusion — their Dhamma is well-taught. That’s how it strikes me.”

“And what do you think, householder: those who have practiced for the abandoning of passion, for the abandoning of aversion, for the abandoning of delusion — have they practiced well in this world or not? Or how does this strike you?” The householder replied: “Sir, those who have practiced for the abandoning of passion, for the abandoning of aversion, for the abandoning of delusion — they have practiced well in this world. That’s how it strikes me.”

“And what do you think, householder: those whose passion is abandoned, whose aversion is abandoned, whose delusion is abandoned, its root destroyed, made like a palmyra stump, deprived of the conditions of development, not destined for future arising: are they, in this world, well-gone or not? Or how does this strike you?” The householder replied: “Sir, those whose passion, aversion and delusion are abandoned, its root destroyed, made like a palmyra stump, deprived of the conditions of development, not destined for future arising; they, in this world, are well-gone. That’s how it strikes me.”

“In this way, householder, you have answered yourself: ‘Those who teach a Dhamma for the abandoning of passion, for the abandoning of aversion, for the abandoning of delusion — their Dhamma is well-taught. Those who have practiced for the abandoning of passion, for the abandoning of aversion, for the abandoning of delusion — they have practiced well in this world. Those whose passion, aversion and delusion are abandoned, its root destroyed, made like a palmyra stump, deprived of the conditions of development, not destined for future arising; they, in this world, are well-gone.'”

“How amazing, sir. How astounding, that there is neither extolling of one’s own Dhamma nor deprecation of another’s, but just the teaching of the Dhamma in its proper sphere, speaking to the point without mentioning oneself. You, venerable sir, teach the Dhamma for the abandoning of passion, aversion, and delusion. Your Dhamma is well-taught. You have practiced for the abandoning of passion, aversion, and delusion. You have practiced well in this world. Your passion, aversion and delusion are abandoned, its root destroyed, made like a palmyra stump, deprived of the conditions of development, not destined for future arising. You, in this world, are well-gone. Magnificent, Master Ananda! Magnificent! Just as if he were to place upright what was overturned, to reveal what was hidden, to point out the way to one who was lost, or to carry a lamp into the dark so that those with eyes could see forms, in the same way has Master Ananda — through many lines of reasoning — made the Dhamma clear. I go to the Buddha for refuge, to the Dhamma, and to the community of monks. May Master Ananda remember me as a lay follower who has gone for refuge from this day forward, for life.” – Anguttara Nikaya 3.72

The ultimate teaching of the Buddha, Confucius and Lao Zi are the same, i.e. the Four Noble Truths; albeit their different styles (一切贤圣皆以无为法而有差别). They teach us to abandon passion, aversion, and delusion. However, knowing is one thing but internalizing into our characters is another. We must practice the knowledge, live by the Dhamma, until we really achieve the abandonment of passion, aversion, and delusion. We tend to think too much, to the negation of happily living ourselves. We keep on wanting to do something, to the negation of being and staying equanimous. Thinking leads to liking and disliking (arguing this is right and that is wrong), and these lead to the proliferation of passion, aversion, and delusion; from these qualities almost all the aggression and suffering in the world arises. For world peace, and our own equanimity, we must stop thinking too much and start living. “A person who torments neither himself nor others will, in this very life, dwells hungerless, quenched and cooled, experiencing bliss, having himself become divine.” – Anguttara Nikaya 4.198. Don’t torture yourself, much less others; that is all you have to do.

I am happy to be Chinese because I feel so fortunate and blessed to be born into such a wonderful culture. Chinese culture makes me happy, and I am so grateful to the ancestors, especially Confucius, Lao Zi and Zhuang Zi. Since I was a little boy, I have always felt happy to be Chinese and have no doubt about it even though my father passed away when I was only 4 years old. My family was poor and my mother had to work a few different jobs to provide for the family with 5 children. The country was poor. Yet, I was happy, because I was loved not only by my family and relatives but also the community. Chinese love money; who doesn’t? However, Chinese love their culture even more, and they will do everything to preserve the culture. Chinese culture is loved because it is so lovely and loveable; because it emphasizes love and compassion between people like one big family, and maintains harmony of the society. 

I  am a Malaysian Chinese, a minority race in Malaysia. There are national schools for all Malaysian children but the medium of instruction is the national language. There were also English language schools when I was a child. Chinese schools were all privately built from donations by Chinese community, especially from the rich businessmen (instead of the Malaysian government). The job prospect was naturally better for students of English and national schools because multinational corporations had the controlling stake of the world economy. Except Chinese people themselves, nobody in the world had a favorable opinion about Chinese language and culture. In 1960, Lee Kuan Yew made English the official language in national schools of Singapore and tried to “kill” Chinese language. Despite the advantages of English, my mother insisted on sending her children to a Chinese language school, and I am forever so thankful for her bold decision.

https://www.quora.com/Why-dont-Chinese-Malaysians-choose-to-be-educated-in-English-rather-than-Mandarin-Chinese/answer/Boon-Kuan-Chung

I was lazy and not a good student. I couldn’t even spell the word “Kuala Lumpur” when I was 13 years old in secondary school; I wasn’t good at Chinese language either. I felt so embarrassed when my classmate laughed at me. However, I always felt a lot of love and encouragement from the Chinese teachers. I am forever so thankful to them. They inspired me to always want to become a teacher like them.

What made Chinese culture so strong? At a time when Chinese were called “Sick Men of East Asia”, why so many Chinese still hold very strong faith in the superiority of Chinese culture? Dr. Sun Yat Sen said that the only thing Chinese lag behind the West was Science and Technology. To him, Chinese culture is still the best. Its emphasis on family values, mutual love and compassion ensure strong social cohesion. The emphasis on contentment brings true happiness to oneself in the form of inner peace.

Lao Zi said: “The sea (the king of all valleys) can become so big because it stays low to receive the water from hundreds of rivers, regardless of the water quality.” (江海所以能为百谷王, 以其善下之, 故能为百谷王) We can learn from the sea: to be humble, receive knowledge from various sources, apply the useful ideas from all schools of thoughts, keep an open mind and listen to different opinions regardless of whether we agree or disagree with the ideas. This philosophy enables me to become a person who can absorb and learn various life philosophies, doctrines, views and religions. It also made Chinese culture a melting pot which can absorb different cultures from around the world. Chinese foods, musical instruments, dance styles and many other things “Chinese” were not originally Chinese. In other words, the so-called “Chinese culture” today is just a name; in actuality, it is a collection of many different cultures into one big family with unity-in-diversity. Chinese culture belongs to all people and not just Chinese people. No Chinese has pure Chinese blood; Chinese people today are mixed bloods from various ancient races; and we are so proud of it. The founders of the Zhou Dynasty around 3000 years ago were considered a barbarian race during the former Shang Dynasty. They made the most profound contributions in founding the original form of Chinese culture, which Confucius tried to preserve during the Warring States period around 500 BC. Chinese culture has gone through significant changes in the last 3000 years, with ever increasing absorption and integration of other cultures. Buddhism, for example, has become an important part of Chinese culture. Most of us applied some Buddhism wisdom unknowingly because these have been “dissolved” into our language which we use in our day-to-day conversations. “Change” is probably the most important feature of Chinese culture since it basically started from the “Book of Change” or Yi Jing. If a Chinese person tries to prevent changes to Chinese culture, in the name of preserving Chinese culture, he is just a foolish man who doesn’t understand Chinese culture. 

There is one thing which glues the different cultures together, and that thing is mutual love (仁); sometimes translated as compassion. One day, Confucius told his disciple, Zeng Shen: “Shen, my philosophies can all be related by one fundamental principle.” Zeng Shen replied: “Understood.” After Confucius left, the other disciples asked Zeng Shen: “What is the meaning?” Zeng Shen said: “The philosophies of our teacher can all be related to Honesty and Forgiveness.” (子曰： “参乎，吾道一以贯之。” 曾子曰： “唯。” 子出，门人问曰： “何谓也？” 曾子曰： “夫子之道，忠恕而已矣。”) Honesty (忠) means truly coming from the heart (忠于事，忠于言，忠于人，忠于己). Loyalty is an act of dishonesty if it doesn’t come from the heart; although some people like it that way regardless. When you are honest, to yourself and to others, everything you said comes from your heart. Nothing is artificial or pretentious, although you may not be right all the time. You will be honest to the king as much as being honest to the people. You will be honest in doing your job, and never make any promise that you don’t intend to keep. You will be honest to yourself, be who you are and not pretend to be someone you are not. If your heart is full of the capacity to forgive, you will be able to tolerate differences and not insist on conformance, although you like people to show good manners. Confucius said: “A true gentleman would seek harmony and not insist on unity; despicable person would seek unity and not satisfied with harmony (君子和而不同，小人同而不和).”

Another day, Confucius told another disciple, Zi Gong: “Ci, do you think I am someone who learns a lot and becomes knowledgeable by memorizing everything that I’ve learnt?” Zi Gong replied: “I think so. Isn’t it true?” Confucius said: “Not really. I have one fundamental principle to relate and bind together all my knowledge.” (子曰： “赐也，女以予为多学而识之者与？” 对曰： “然，非与？” 曰： “非也！予一以贯之。”) Anything that has nothing to do with Honesty and Forgiveness isn’t Confucianism even if Neo-Confucians say it is. You don’t have to become knowledgeable by memorizing a lot of things that you’ve learnt. You just need to let Honesty and Forgiveness guide you in your words and actions, and in making decisions to move or to stop (言行举止). Confucius said: “Compassion includes being respectful, forgiving, truthful, hardworking, and benevolent. Being respectful to everybody will avoid being humiliated. Being forgiving will be loved by everybody. Being truthful will be trusted by everybody. Being hardworking will bring success. Being benevolent (i.e. showing the people how they can benefit themselves by following certain techniques or methods) will be able to influence others to work for common good.” (恭、宽、信、敏、惠。恭则不侮，宽则得众，信则人任焉，敏则有功，惠则足以使人。)

Capitalism gives rise to the need to out-compete competitors and the search for abstract wealth dominates. Concrete consequences, such as planetary destruction, do not register. Social wealth is appropriated by private individuals, capitalists, who have totalitarian control over workers and their products. The result of Capitalism is massive inequality, mental disorders, unhappiness, higher rates of homicides, and many other socio-pathological behaviors, including the widespread approval of the most grotesque killing machine – the US military – in modern history.

Confucius correctly diagnosed the illness of the society that the root of the problem was people have become crazy; i.e. no inner peace and not thinking about attaining inner peace. People chase money to the negation of their health and happiness. They are so poor that the only thing they have is money. Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to How is inner peace attained according to Confucius?

Lao Zi said: “When the world is peaceful, horses are used in farming operations. When the world is in chaos, horses give birth in the remote war zones. The greatest sin is no greater than greedy for benefits. The greatest crisis is no greater than not being content with life. The greatest trouble is no worse than desire to obtain ambitious success, wealth and fame. Therefore, the satisfaction of contentment is the real satisfaction.” (天下有道，却走马以粪；天下无道，戎马生于郊。罪莫大于可欲，祸莫大于不知足，咎莫大于欲得。故知足之足，恒足矣。) The greedy desires of the leader and followers can cause chaos. Everybody including animals will suffer. If the people see that health is the greatest gift, they will not want too much development which will be detrimental to their health, physically and mentally. If the people see that contentment is the greatest wealth, they will not want anything to be promised by the leader. If the people see that faithfulness is the best relationship, they will greatly value their family time.

The common goal of Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism is for the individual practitioner to become “true man” (真人君子). Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to What are common goals for Confucianism Taoism and Buddhism In Buddhism, it’s called Arahant; a “true man” without greed, hatred and delusion because he has attained perfection of virtue, equanimity and wisdom; also known as the state of Nirvana, a cool state where there’s no more fire (in the body) AND no possibility for fire to be reignited because there’s no fuels.

Is Chinese culture more superior than other cultures? Chinese culture is neither superior nor inferior to other cultures. Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to What makes the Buddha superior to all other religious leaders?

Today, I think the best skill which I have acquired is the ability to feel happy under any circumstances. Confucius said: “A fine gentleman has three qualities, but I am yet to attain any of those. True compassion makes one has no worry, grief, hatred, or any unwholesome feelings; true intelligence makes one has no delusion and doubt; true courage makes one has no fear.” (子曰：君子道者三，我无能焉：仁者不忧，知者不惑，勇者不惧。) Confucius said: “Don’t worry about being misunderstood by other people; instead, worry about misunderstanding other people.” (不患人之不己知，患不知人也。) A great leader has no fear for his safety, because he has no self and therefore is not afraid to die. He lives as he should, releases pleasant “smell” as he is (like a flower), and not worry about what will happen to him tomorrow. He may be thinking every day about creating a better future for the people he loves, but he never feels worried about what will really happen. (《孟子·离娄下》: 君子有终生之忧，无一朝之患也。)

https://helpchildren.family.blog/2019/05/13/everybody-can-become-a-chinese/ Everybody can become a Chinese. 夷狄而华夏者,则华夏之;华夏而夷狄者,则夷狄之。If an individual from a barbaric country has manners like a civilized Chinese, we must recognize him as a civilized Chinese. If an individual from a civilized Chinese country has bad manners like a person from a barbaric country, we must consider him as a barbarian. Chinese is defined by Chinese culture; not by national border, skin color or bloodline. 

PS.

Are Chinese not allowed and not supposed to love their own culture? Are Chinese supposed to forget their roots and pretend to be English men? Someone is so foolish to feel so agitated like he has just eaten sour grapes whenever he hears of good comments about Chinese culture. It only shows the inferiority complex in himself and the inferiority of his culture.

As I wrote above, Chinese culture doesn’t belong to just Chinese alone but belongs to all people. The so-called “Chinese culture” is just a name; it is actually a collection of many different cultures.

What do I like about Chinese culture? The same way I like Daoism. Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to What do you like about Taoism?

How could Chinese culture absorb various life philosophies, doctrines, views and religions? We can learn from the sea: to be humble, receive knowledge from various sources, apply the useful ideas from all schools of thoughts, keep an open mind and listen to different opinions regardless of whether we agree or disagree with the ideas (江海所以能为百谷王, 以其善下之, 故能为百谷王). Boon Kuan Chung’s answer to How do I traverse through this jungle of various life philosophies, doctrines, religions, and of course God, successfully, to remain satisfied with peace of mind?

Companionship and Sharing

When people talk about the benefits of staying single, it is always about freedom and keeping everything (energy, time, money) for the sensual pleasure (of the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind) of oneself. They are not into sharing all these with others, although they may occasionally share a little with family members and friends, and make donations for charity. There is nothing wrong about that. The only thing wrong to do in this world is to make yourself unhappy now or in the future. Loving oneself is much more important than loving others. It is not wrong to be selfish, but it is not necessarily right.

When people talk about the bads of being married, it is always about the loss of freedom and everything (energy, time, money, sensual pleasure of the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind) to share with spouse, children, and in-laws. They dislike sharing all these with others, even though they are actually sharing these precious things voluntarily or involuntarily. They often forget about the benefits of sharing, and the benefits of being married. As I said earlier, making yourself unhappy is the only thing wrong to do in this world. You are doing much more wrong to make yourself unhappy due to regrets and guilt about the past decisions, and also fear, anger, anxiety, grief, lamentation and despair due to worry about the future. Loving oneself is much more important than loving others. It is not wrong to be selfish, but it is not necessarily right. It is not wrong to dislike sharing what you have with others, but it is not necessarily right.

When people talk about the benefits of being married, it is always about some newfound freedom (from authoritarian parents) and the happiness of sharing everything (energy, time, money, sensual pleasure of the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind) with spouse, children, and in-laws. The fortunate ones and the blessed ones find happiness in companionship, sharing (i.e. doing Dana) and loving others (i.e. radiation of Metta). There is nothing wrong with preferring to be married or to stay single. It is a personal choice; and there are good and bad in everything. The only thing wrong to do in this world is to make yourself unhappy now or in the future. Loving oneself is much more important than loving others. However, it would be even better to love yourself and others at the same time. It is unwise to make yourself unhappy due to the personal choice which you have chosen.

The Buddha is sometimes referred to as The Fortunate One or The Blessed One because he found perpetual happiness, and a more superior form of happiness, for himself and also brought various kinds of happiness to others. Giving birth to a good child (like Gotama or any benevolent layperson) is not a mistake. Educating him well will bring much welfare and happiness to the world. A man and a woman getting married is not the reason why a child is born; it is due to his kamma and clinging to the world in his past life which leads to his rebirth. He will be reborn into this world another way if not this way. The fortunate and blessed ones will have the honor of receiving him into this world as their child. One should never say that it was a mistake that he was born; or it was a mistake that his parents didn’t stay single; or getting married is wrong.

When people talk about the bads of staying single, it is always about the lack of companionship, love and happiness in sharing everything (energy, time, money, sensual pleasure of the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind) with others. The unfortunate ones and the unblessed ones are deprived of happiness when they can’t find a true friend as a companion to share (i.e. doing Dana) and to love (i.e. radiation of Metta). There is nothing wrong with preferring to be married or to stay single. It is a personal choice; and there are good and bad in everything. The only thing wrong to do in this world is to make yourself unhappy now or in the future. Loving oneself is much more important than loving others. When one finds the more superior form of happiness by being aloof from sensual pleasure and staying secluded, staying single is probably the best thing in the world. However, it would be unwise to make yourself unhappy due to the personal choice which you have chosen. The Holy path is for the alone, by the alone, and for the alone. One must learn to enjoy being alone if he wants to stay single; the happiness must come from inner peace at will and not from sensual desires. Otherwise, a lot of dangers will be waiting for him in the future. Nothing is permanent; everything is impermanent. Sensual pleasure, health, wealth, body, friendship, fame, and everything you own will leave you sooner or later, and everyone must face illness and death in the future. However, you only lose what you cling to. If you cling to nothing, you are incapable of losing anything. There will be no mental suffering when you face illness and death.

The conclusion is: whether you choose to stay single or to be married, you must walk the Noble Eightfold Path diligently so that you find perpetual happiness, the more superior form of happiness from inner peace at will, which the outer world can never rob it away from you. You must realize that your every unhappiness is due to your own greed, hatred and delusion; but not to be blamed on others although there are external conditioners. If you choose to be happy, and you have the mental strength to do that, nobody will have the privilege to decide what kind of emotional state you are allowed to have. You will attain perfection of virtue, equanimity and wisdom. You cannot possibly deserve to have a true friend with good virtue, equanimity and wisdom if you don’t have them in yourself. Birds of a feather flock together.

Companionship is very important whether you choose to stay single or to be married. The key issue is to find a good companion who will walk with you on the spiritual path of perfecting your virtue, equanimity and wisdom. This companion can be your teacher, friend (same or opposite sex), student, spouse, or child. No official ceremony is necessary. External conditioners which will affect us, physically and mentally, are unavoidable in life. Companions will help each other weather through the hardships and encourage each other to walk the spiritual path. One can of course still stay alone in his inner world. Benefits to oneself, to others, and from others are not necessarily bad.

The Buddha said: “Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life. When a monk has admirable people as friends, companions, and comrades, he can be expected to develop & pursue the noble eightfold path. And how does a monk who has admirable people as friends, companions, and comrades, develop and pursue the noble eightfold path? There is the case where a monk develops the right view dependent on seclusion, dependent on dispassion, dependent on cessation, resulting in relinquishment.” – SN 45.2: Upaddha Sutta

“And what is meant by admirable friendship? There is the case where a lay person, in whatever town or village he may dwell, spends time with householders or householders’ sons, young or old, who are advanced in virtue. He talks with them, engages them in discussions. He emulates consummate conviction [in the principle of kamma] in those who are consummate in conviction, consummate virtue in those who are consummate in virtue, consummate generosity in those who are consummate in generosity, and consummate discernment in those who are consummate in discernment. This is called admirable friendship.” — AN 8.54

“Monks, Kassapa here is content with any old robe. He praises contentment with any robe, nor does he commit any offense of unseemliness or impropriety on account of a robe. If he has not got a robe, he does not worry; if he has got a robe he enjoys the use of it without clinging or foolish attachment, not committing any offense, aware of the danger and wisely avoiding it. Kassapa is content with whatever alms he gets, whatever lodging, whatever requisites in the way of medicines for sickness. He enjoys the use of these things without clinging or foolish attachment, not committing any offense, aware of the danger and wisely avoiding it. Therefore, monks, you should train yourselves thus: We will be content with whatever robe, alms, lodging, medicines, we may get. We will enjoy the use of these things without clinging or foolish attachment, not committing any offense, aware of the danger and wisely avoiding it.” – SN 16.1

Some individuals arrogantly advise others to stay single or to be married, as if they know best what is right for others. They instruct others to live in the present moment and not worry about the future. This sounds similar to Buddha’s teaching but it is actually different. They are instructing others to indulge in sensual pleasure, taking drugs, or jumping out of a cliff (like bungee jumping) as if the kamma will not lead to bad fruitions. They are just ignorant and oblivious of the dangers which are waiting for them. 

Train yourself thus: We will be content with whatever companion we may get. We will enjoy the use of this companion without clinging or foolish attachment, not committing any offense, aware of the danger and wisely avoiding it. If you have not got a companion, do not worry. You will get a good companion if you deserve him/her. Never regret about the past because all are parts and parcels of the training, experiences, and conditions necessary for the fruition of virtue, equanimity and wisdom. Without the past, there is no present and future.

How do I traverse through this jungle of various life philosophies, doctrines, religions, and of course God, successfully, to remain satisfied with peace of mind? This is a question of Peaceful Coexistence.

Peaceful coexistence of a diverse of different beings within the same space is only possible when everyone values diversity (as a strength rather than a weakness) instead of wanting to standardize everything. That means differences are welcomed, whereas agreeing with others is considered a lack of personal opinion. This is called harmony in diversity. I want you to be different, and you want me to be different.

In a society where everybody is forced to believe in the same religion, follow the same doctrines, then you will have a monolithic society that is rigid and homogenous, not open to new ideas. In this case, you have multiple beings of the same type with the same groupthink but not a diverse of different beings. The society can remain peaceful so long as the purity of the monolithic society is maintained. This is a peaceful existence rather than coexistence. When a new culture is imported, bigotry and racism and xenophobia will start to arise. Multicultural and multiracial peaceful coexistence will not be possible. I want you to be no different from me, and you want me to be no different from you. I want you to agree with me, and you want me to agree with you. Religious people think they have peace of mind; this is only true when they live inside their own bubble. When they have to deal with another culture, wars often breakout.

In one’s brain, various life philosophies, doctrines, views and religious rules and rituals are like a diverse of different beings living in the same space. If you want peace and you are lazy to think, you can choose and enforce one and only religion and throw out all the others. You will have peace of mind; you will be a peaceful existence. There is no coexistence to consider. It is easy to be a follower rather than a leader. It is easy to follow rules and rituals rather than having to think of an appropriate action to take whenever you are challenged with a new situation. You have decided that your religion is right and anybody who disagrees with you is wrong. You will not be open minded; i.e. you do not have freedom of thought. If the mind is not free, the person can never be really free regardless of which country he lives in. Only the eyes, ears, nose, tongue, and body are free but not the mind. If the mind is excluded from the person, then maybe he can consider himself to be free. 

If you are a person who really wants to absorb and learn various life philosophies, doctrines, views and religions, you must be humble.  The sea (the king of all valleys) can become so big because it stays low to receive the water from hundreds of rivers, regardless of the water quality. We can learn from the sea: to be humble, receive knowledge from various sources, apply the useful ideas from all schools of thoughts, keep an open mind and listen to different opinions regardless of whether we agree or disagree with the ideas (江海所以能为百谷王, 以其善下之, 故能为百谷王). This is one of the core philosophies of Dao De Jing. The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. Continue to improve your intelligence (睿智), learn to think critically (i.e. not blind acceptance of any teaching), and widen your knowledge on all subjects (聪明). These are essential to gain the ultimate wisdom of life (道). Having no zeal to discriminate right and wrong, you will be able to apply the appropriate not-right or not-wrong idea according to the conditions which are arising.

The sea is the king; the various rivers are the ministers. The mind is the king; the various philosophies, doctrines, views and religions must not be allowed to control the mind. No one school of thought should be allowed to dominate the thinking faculty. The mind as the leader must take control and decide which idea to accept in each and every situation. Right and wrong can change with time and space. What is right at one time and space may become wrong at another time and space. Similarly, what is wrong at one time and space may become right at another time and space. 

Right and wrong are in the “box” (方内), but the problem is there are many “boxes” everywhere. If you subscribe to one “box”, you have one set of right and wrong. If you subscribe to a few “boxes”, you find that the different sets of right and wrong are conflicting with one another. You are thinking out-of-the-box (方外) when you start to question whether there are absolute right and absolute wrong. You will have freedom of thoughts (思想解放).

To believe in right and wrong is very stressful. Not believing in right and wrong is bewildering. Right and wrong are like proton and electron; they are opposite but attracted to each other, and both are indispensable (正反相依，对立相存). The universe cannot exist with too much proton (Yang) or too much electron (Yin). It is a matter of maintaining the balance in time and space. There will be imbalances from time to time and from one place to another place, but that’s OK. Wanting to be right and hate to be wrong all the time will be very stressful, whether you are imposing on yourself or other people. Other people imposing a set of right and wrong on you will also make you stressful. More often than not, you may think you are right but other people think you are wrong. That is why we see people committing suicide, quarrelling in a family, engaging in racial/religious disputes, and wars between nations.

A group of blind men have never come across an elephant before. They wish to learn and conceptualize what the elephant is like by touching it. Each blind man feels a different part of the elephant body, but only one part. The person, whose hand lands on the trunk, say: “An elephant is like a big snake”. Another one, whose hand reaches its ear, say: “An elephant is like a kind of fan”. The third person, whose hand is upon its leg, say: “The elephant is a pillar like a tree-trunk”. The blind man who places his hand upon the elephant body say: “Elephant is a wall”. Another who holds its tail say: “Elephant is a rope”. The last feels its tusk and say: “The elephant is that which is hard, smooth and like a spear”. They describe the elephant based on their partial experience and their descriptions are in complete disagreement on what an elephant is. They come to suspect that the other person is wrong and they become angry. The moral of the parable is that humans tend to project their partial experiences as the whole truth and ignore other people’s partial experiences. We should consider that we may be partially right and may have partial information. It doesn’t mean we have to feel unhappy to have doubt about our understanding; we just have to accept that it’s OK to be partially right but not totally right. “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.” – Mark Twain. Just because you have a similar view as the majority doesn’t mean you are right. It is highly possible that it is a groupthink.

Obviously, having no personal opinion is equally undesirable compared to being too assertive about what is right and what is wrong. Should we or should we not distinguish right and wrong? How do we know we are not doing a wrong thing? Not grasping strongly to own opinion (不执于我) is not the same as having no personal opinion. It only means we accept the possibility that our opinion may not be right (but not wrong) or other opinions are also not wrong too. Don’t get stuck in dualistic thinking. There is no problem at all for not wanting our coffee to be too cold or too hot; it is a personal choice. Similarly, there is no problem at all for not wanting to be right or wrong; it is a personal choice. The two extremes of right and wrong are like Yin and Yang; don’t go to the extreme and become an extremist. It is a matter of balancing the Yin and Yang. What we choose to do is a matter of choice. Whatever we choose to do is not wrong if it doesn’t adversely affect our happiness in the short term and also in the long term.

The next question is: how do we have peace of mind with the existence of diversity? Wanting to be right is a great desire. Desire is the cause of all suffering. Greater desire causes greater suffering. To have peace of mind, we must minimize our desire, especially the desire to be right. We must be content with being not wrong. It’s OK to be not right so long as we are not wrong. 

举世而誉之而不加劝，举世而非之而不加沮，定乎内外之分，辩乎荣辱之境，斯已矣。

If we don’t have the desire to seek acceptance from anybody about who we really are, what we believe in, what we say and do, we will not be bothered to do more when the whole world praises us; we will not feel disappointed when the whole world disagrees with us. Our self-worth need not depend on how other people think of us. Human distinctions of honors and disgraces are false; none of these external things are important for our happiness.

Peaceful coexistence is the harmony emphasized in Daoism.

Why Isn’t Everyone a Buddhist?

According to the Buddha himself, as recorded in the Nikaya Sutta, one must be very blessed to be able to hear the true Dhamma. He’s even more blessed if he appreciates it and decides to take refuge in the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha. The Dhamma is the most precious thing in the Universe, even the highest Deva agrees and pays respect to the Buddha and learns from the Buddha. The Buddha doesn’t go around selling Dhamma to everyone; but he gives it freely to anyone who is blessed enough to hear about it and wants to learn it. In fact, the Buddha told his disciples not to speak Dhamma to anyone who doesn’t show respect for it. Love it for your own happiness and benefits; ignore it at your own risk and suffering. Therefore, the lack of marketing leads to fewer Buddhists in the world. On the contrary, marketing something makes the product look cheap, although more people will buy it. There are good and bad for both cases; but there’s no simplistic self-boasting of superiority nor deprecating of others as inferior. Some people claiming themselves as the Maha or greatest are self-boasting which only goes to exhibit their strong ego and self-identification. Some people deprecating others as Hina or inferior are committing evil karma and not showing Right Speech. The truth is different religions or sects possibly make some good points and some bad ideas. The Buddha criticised the wrong views of others solely for the purpose of educating his disciples to avoid attachment to views. The Buddha never said other religious sects are inferior but advised his disciples to continue paying respect and making Dana donations to them.

Buddha said: “One who wants to admonish another should first ponder like this; ‘Am I or am I not one who practices complete purity in body and speech? Are these qualities present in me or not?’ If they are not there will no doubt be people who will say; ‘Come now, why don’t you practice complete purity in body and speech first?’ Again, one who wants to admonish another should first ponder like this; ‘Have I freed myself from ill will and developed a mind of goodwill towards others. Are these qualities present in me or not?’ If they are not there will no doubt be people who will say; ‘Come now, why don’t you develop a mind of goodwill yourself?’”

The true Dhamma is like a piece of wood plank with a hole at the center which is floating in the great ocean. The chance for a turtle to encounter the wood plank is extremely small. The chance for the turtle to put its head through the hole at the center of the wood plank is even much smaller. This is how small the chance for a person to hear of true Dhamma and then appreciate it so much that he decides to become a Buddhist.

The greatest benefit to a person is being able to feel happy under any circumstances. This is the kind of benefit that the true Dhamma can give a person. That is why it is the most precious thing in the Universe. A person will be able to feel happy under any circumstances when he totally abandons greed, hatred and delusion. It also means that he has perfected his virtue, equanimity, and wisdom. Perfect virtue makes him have no guilt. Perfect equanimity makes him calm and his emotion unmoved (i.e. no fear, anger, grief, lamentation and despair) by wrong views or whatever happens in the outer world. Perfect wisdom makes him see reality as it is; he has no wish to see reality happen this way or doesn’t happen that way. Therefore, perfection of virtue, equanimity and wisdom surely will bring a much more superior form of happiness to the person. If a person doesn’t become happier after hearing the true Dhamma, it only means he has not learnt it. He is not practising in a way which reduces his greed, hatred and delusion. He must not blame or doubt the efficacy of the Dhamma. Instead, he must learn to have personal accountability and take responsibility for not working hard enough to make himself happy. The person who is not concerned with the good of his own has only himself to blame. An old man may give the detailed ways to travel from town A to town B, but he can never guarantee a young man will be able to follow exactly the detailed ways and reach the desired destination. In the same way, the Buddha can only show us the path; we ourselves must walk the path.

Buddha said: “Just as a stick from a funeral pyre, burning at both ends and smeared with dung in the middle, can serve no useful purpose as fuel in the village or as timber in the forest – using such a simile do I speak of the person who is concerned neither with his own good nor the good of others. The person who is concerned with the good of others but not his own is more excellent and higher than this. The person who is concerned with his own good but not the good of others is more excellent and higher still. And he who is concerned with both his own good and the good of others – he is of the four persons the chief, the best, the topmost, the highest, the supreme.” A person who is not concerned with his own good is either the worst or second worst of the four types of persons.

Love is characterized as promoting the welfare of others. Its function is to desire welfare. It is manifested as the removal of annoyance. Its proximate cause is seeing the loveableness in beings. It succeeds when it makes ill-will subside, and it fails when it gives rise to selfish affection. 

Compassion is characterized as promoting the removal of others’ suffering. Its function is not bearing others’ suffering. It is manifested as kindness. Its proximate cause is seeing helplessness in those overwhelmed by suffering. It succeeds when it makes cruelty subside, and it fails when it gives rise to sorrow. 

One who truly loves another should build his capacity to radiate Metta or loving-kindness. The efforts he put in and the hardship he endures to promote the welfare of others is a “Dana” of Metta. The radiation of Metta is successful if ill-will, selfish affection, cruelty, and sorrow don’t arise.

When we buy something, we sometimes don’t get the quantity or value for money. If we feel unhappy about it, we are being unkind to ourselves. The unwholesome thoughts are due to our greed and not seeing reality as it is; we choose to attach to the view that it’s our right to get what we paid for. In doing so, we are effectively shot by two arrows: one causes loss of value-for-money, and another causes the arising of ill-will and mental suffering. If we can instead show compassion and kindness to the helplessness of others, we can build our capacity to radiate Metta. We will feel happier and it will promote our progress in the perfection of virtue, equanimity and wisdom.