Table of Content: HOW TO RAISE A RESILIENT KID: I AM NOT RIGHT BUT THAT’S OK
Buddha said there is an island of happiness with no suffering (彼岸). If you start swimming, you will probably reach the island. You may get there faster if you receive some helps from a friendly giant turtle (aka a good teacher). You need to let go (布施/舍弃) of everything (let go of external wealth, knowledge, and energy; and let go of emotional attachments to your body and your love ones) and have no desire (无欲), except the desire to reach the island. If you are doubtful, you might give up halfway; then you will never reach the destination. If you have other desire, it will lead you to the wrong direction. The more desire you have, the further you will drift away from the sea shore. If you remind yourself to minimize your desire, you will be able to come back to the sea shore, and you will be able to start swimming towards the island when you are ready.
You must make it a habit to have no desire. Otherwise, you will easily go back to your old self who have some desires. Your swimming effort will be wasted in the one-step-forward and one-step-back actions. You can reach the island of happiness only if you keep swimming in the correct direction. According to Buddha, everybody can do it, i.e. it is not really difficult. Unfortunately, some scholars make it so complex and difficult to comprehend by creating tons of “sacred” texts. They further tell the people that it is difficult, almost impossible, to attain the intelligence of Buddha; not until you have read all the “sacred” texts. It is really a disservice to the people who desperately need help to regain the birthright happiness they were born with.
Dividing reality into thousands of separate things is undesirable, but the scholars do it. Greedy for more knowledge is undesirable, but the scholars teach the people to memorize tons of “sacred” texts. Knowledge is not the same as intelligence; just as food is not the same as nutrients. Digested knowledge can turn into intelligence; nutrients can only be absorbed by your body if the food you ate is digested. After that, the “food” turns into shit which is best to be pushed out of the intestine into the toilet bowl. Similarly, the knowledge can be discarded instead of keeping it in your brain like precious thing, showing it off to people so that you feel proud of yourself, or looking down on people who have less knowledge than you. Feeling proud is incoherent with the characteristics of an enlightened person like Buddha. The best sacred text has no word in it. Buddha said: “If a sacred text is said to belong to Buddhism, then it is not a sacred text of Buddhism.” (所谓佛法者，即非佛法。) “Whatever the Buddha said cannot be used as a doctrine and cannot be told to others as such. The ultimate truth cannot be written down in words but it doesn’t mean there are no words that can point you to the ultimate truth.” (如来所说法，皆不可取，不可说。非法非非法。) Whatever the Buddha said was neither truth nor falsehood. “If someone says a Sure Way to achieve Enlightenment is said by the Buddha, it is actually a slander. It is because he cannot understand what I said. My dear disciple, Subhuti! For the so-called Way of Saying It, there is really no way to say it. That is why it is called a Way of Saying It.” (若人言：如来有所说法，即为谤佛，不能解我所说故。须菩提！说法者，无法可说，是名说法。) Buddha would not keep it as a secret; unfortunately, no one can be told what the Way is. He could only point out the direction. One will have to find his way and experience it himself.
Lao Zi said: “Dao that is described by anyone will never be the correct or complete description of Dao, because the true Dao is all encompassing and has unlimited extent that it can never be fully described with words.” (道可道也，非恒道也。) Dao can only be learnt and cannot be taught. Knowledge can be transferred but intellect can only be learnt by the individual himself.
Every -ism is a wasn’t. The -ism that people talk about today wasn’t the original idea in the minds of the venerated Sages who have died a long time ago; it is just their waste matter. Zhuang Zi said: “I have said so many things in my life but I’ve never actually said a word.” He didn’t agree or disagree with any thoughts, including his own thoughts. How can anyone agree or disagree with him? You can’t agree or disagree with him when he has never said a word but noises/music. The truth transcend conceptual sphere of right and wrong. You must not think in terms of right and wrong if you want to understand the Dao. If you don’t understand the Dao, you can’t agree or disagree with the Sages.
Zhuang Zi said: “The bait can be thrown away after the fish is caught. The trap can be thrown away after the rabbit is caught. Words are used to transmit thoughts. After the thoughts have been transmitted, the words can be thrown away from our brains.”
Perpetual happiness is what we want to achieve. We cannot have it if we have no freedom – freedom from the bondage of passions, freedom from the distress we inflict upon ourselves through our ignorance, and ultimately, freedom from the suffering of birth and death. We cannot have freedom if we have desire. How can we achieve self-levitation if we load ourselves with material things, bodyweight, emotional attachment, and knowledge? Desire to have all these things will certainly tie us down.
Freedom means you can have it your way whenever you want it. When you want it, the Buddha is like already here (如来), right inside your heart; he comes from nowhere, and not going anywhere (如来者，无所从来，亦无所去，故名如来). In other words, you are the Buddha, after you have liberated yourself. Freedom (自由) means you can do everything naturally (自然) without thinking, like a baby; you can do what your heart tells you to do, without restraint, but yet do no wrong (能从心所欲，不逾矩). Confucius said: “Is compassion far away from us? Whenever I want compassion, I can immediately show compassion.” (仁远乎哉？我欲仁，斯仁至矣。) Compassion comes from within, do not seek it elsewhere. Don’t desire to be benevolent so much so that you become unfree and unhappy and cause the negative impacts to stay (住) in your mind for a long time; instead, let go or give away (布施/舍弃) the extra things that you don’t need for the purposes of compassion and righteousness, and forget what you just did instead of feeling proud about the generosity (若菩萨不住相布施，其福德不可思量). Express compassion and righteousness naturally, i.e. from the heart; if you do it simply because you have been indoctrinated to cherish compassion and righteousness, you will have F.O.G. Sympathize but don’t share the sadness and pain of other people (乐而不淫，哀而不伤，怨而不怒); remain peaceful within at all time. Hurting yourself is an act which goes against the Nature; it is probably the only wrong thing to do in this world, everything else is just not right but not wrong too. If you are not happy, you can’t help others; you will probably mess up and do more harm than good (好心做坏事). If you see someone drowning, and you know how to swim but you don’t have the life-saving skill, trying to help will only end up with two drowned persons.
Must you have a “successful” career (有为) in your life? I don’t know about that, but I think life is meaningless if you are unhappy. The Diamond Sutra (金刚经) said that the real Buddha’s Ways have no fixed rules; if someone says you must do this and mustn’t do that, then the rules are not really the Buddha’s Ways; the actual Ways cannot be expressed in words. (佛说般若波罗密。即非般若波罗密。是名般若波罗密。) Prajnaparamita or the perfection of wisdom cannot be considered as perfect wisdom if you are still bound by rules. The Buddha himself did not follow any rule to achieve the Enlightenment. (如是！如是！须菩提！实无有法如来得阿耨多罗三藐三菩提。)
Lao Zi said: “Don’t talk too much on what is Dao because the more we talk the more it will deviate from the true Dao as we become fixated with perceptions. A person who assumes he knows everything and tries to prescribe a standard way of life for everyone is not wise and doesn’t really know Dao.” (知者弗言，言者弗知。) The cleverness of the scholars is only useful to cheat people and avoid being cheated. It is good to have but not essential for your happiness. Opportunistic clever tricks and desire for benefit should be discouraged if theft and robbery are to be abated (绝巧弃利 盗贼无有). You don’t have to admire the clever scholars or feel worry for not learning the cleverness (绝学无忧). Practice the knowledge of knowing and also the knowledge of not knowing; don’t complicate your mind with too much unnecessary knowledge which then makes you worry about the future or anticipate trouble. Intelligence is what you need, for your freedom, and happiness. Everybody can have this kind of intelligence. Learn the intelligence from all sources and don’t limit yourself to Buddhism sacred texts; all the truths can be considered as the Buddha’s Ways. (是故如来说一切法。皆是佛法。) It is really possible to have an invincible mind and an unbreakable heart. You will then be free of all mental sufferings and burdens. (金刚者坚不可摧，能断一切烦恼和执着。)
Liberate yourself and start swimming to the island of happiness. Everybody can do it; so do you. I’m trying to free your mind. But I can only show you the door. You’re the one who has to walk through it.
RESILIENT KID 